It was almost dinner time for me and I had cut up my yams and put in the steamer pot when I and my family had to go to a home few minutes from ours to quickly sing a “Happy Birthday” song and join in prayer for one of their children who was celebrating that evening.
I Failed To Execute My Plan
My plan was to dash there sing and immediately after the prayer I would leave my boys there while I go back home and watch my yams. I knew the yams wouldn’t take more than 10 minutes when it came to the boil and I had given myself 5 minutes to dash back home. But then, the cake had to be cut, pictures had to be taken, snacks and drinks were served and I must tell the truth, almost every 30 seconds I would open my mouth to tell the parents of the celebrant that I had to run to my kitchen but I never got the words out of my mouth.
I was thinking:
- Would it not look inappropriate?
I was overthinking it, indecisive, unnecessarily agitated, and overly concerned about how they would feel or perceive my immediate departure.
I do not even remember really eating anything but a pinch of cake maybe, they were going to send some home with our boys, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them I needed to leave, even though I had announced that I had something cooking almost the moment I came in.
Why Did I Hold Back?
- Why didn’t I do what I knew was right at the time; leave and make sure I didn’t have to call 911 on my house?
- Why didn’t I just tell them I had to leave?
People Pleasing Is Never Right. Especially when you ignore doing the right thing just because you want to make someone else happy.
The Consequences I Had To Face
But then I was somewhat calmed by the fact that the smoke alarm hadn’t gone off. After I turned off the stove and opened the pot all I saw was black smoke. I quickly put the pot under the tap and let water run into it, I heard tiny pops and cracky sounds as the water touched the pot and I was hoping I had not lost the pot.
The yam slices had gone from white to brown on top and black underneath, they were burnt beyond edibility. My pot was badly burnt that some scales of iron or whatever it was made of came off the base and floated on the water.
I was so thankful I didn’t start a fire that I didn’t care much about the yam.
We Don’t Have To People Please
So many times in a bid to please others we make decisions that would cost us more than a misunderstanding, whether real or imagined.
I have learnt to do what I knew to be the best right thing to do given any circumstance, but that night I allowed over thinking and my desire to please get the better part of me.
God just had mercy on me and made sure I left before the situation in my kitchen got any worse.
God has given us His Spirit to guide us and lead us to do what we ought to do per time but when we ignore, play deaf ears, act like we know better or delay in responding, it always cost us something.
But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counsellor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you. John 14:26 AMP
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 ESV
That evening, it cost me my dinner, yams (one of my favourites). By the time I was done cleaning up I neither had the strength nor the will to cut up and cook any more slices of yam. I ended up having bread, something I am not enjoying at the moment.
We ought to make sure we walk in love towards everyone but must never be driven by fear or worry or unhealthy desire to please when dealing with others.
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8
Have you ever chosen to please man over God?
Have you ever had to deal with any consequence of people pleasing?
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2017