There is a common saying in my home that experience is a cruel teacher as opposed to the general one that says it is the best teacher. Besides when it has to do with knowing God, experience is a hard, cruel and most times scarring teacher. Well, for the most part, I chose to learn from my own experience rather than by instructions, or the experience of others.
I will share some of those mistakes I made here, not all, for time and space but some of the ones that stand out in my memory.
- I Thought Instructions Were Depriving Me
I thought the instructions my parents, older siblings, teachers and pastor gave me were depriving me from ‘enjoying’ my life. So I found a way to disobey every instruction, challenge every rule, and question every directive.
Sometimes when I think about it, I wish I had known that the instructions were actually to give me life, not deprive me of ‘life’.
Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life. Proverbs 4:13 NKJVIf I had chosen my friends wisely, avoided late nights, stayed home a little more, studied a little harder, focused on the things that mattered more instead of trying to ‘enjoy life’ I probably would have made far less mistakes and had little or no scars.
- I Thought I Had To Keep My Friends At All Costs
Friends mattered to me. I know you wonder if it is wrong, maybe I should say friends mattered too much to me to the point that I did everything they wanted me to do, in order to keep them. Even if it meant doing all the wrong things so they would like and accept me. Sometime when I think of it, I see so much foolishness because I acted like I was a dummy without a mind of my own, doing any and everything they wanted me to, just so they would keep being my friends. I changed my mind, perspective, dressing, relationships just to make my friends keep me.
I wish I had known and believed that;
He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. Proverbs 13:20 NKJV
I was already walking in so much foolishness. If I had aligned myself with wise people, I probably would have let go of some of my foolishness and gotten some wisdom.
If I had not been so bent on having friends especially the kinds I had then, and keeping them at all cost. If I had known that it can be okay to stand alone as long as I stand right, things in my past might have been different.
- I Thought Lust Was Love
So I followed my emotions where ever they led. I believed every man that claimed to love (lust after) me. I yielded my body to them because they told me and I believed, I had to do that to prove I loved* them.
I wish I had listened to my mom, I wish I had listened to my French and English Teachers.I wish I had known and believed that my body is not mine to handle which ever way I thought fit for…
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 NKJV
“I would have better handled my body. I would have told any man that demanded sex as a proof of love that I was not going to yield to their desire. I would shut my flesh up each time it screamed for sensual satisfaction. I would have treated my body like the treasure it is and glorified my maker in my body.”
- I Thought I Could Respond To God’s Love Later, after ‘enjoying life’
So I went to Church (my family Anglican Church), sang in the choir, took Bible readings, but was not a worshipper of God. I went through all those motions, but did not give my heart to God. I thought God should wait for me, I would come to Him at my own time. I lived recklessly in my sins, suffered physically, mentally and emotionally for it, yet thought that was the way to live, that was the way to ‘enjoy’ life.
I wish I had given my heart to Christ long before. I wish I had, again, listened to my French and English teachers who loved me so much and told me about God’s love and Christ’s sacrifice. I wish I had taken seriously the songs I sang in the Anglican Choir and allowed them to minster to my heart. I wish I had allowed the words I read from the Bible penetrate my heart and affect my life. I wish I had served God from before my youthful days.
Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth… Ecclesiastes 12:1 NKJVI wish I had known that true life was only found in a heart where Jesus lived.
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10bI wish I had known then that there is damnation to avoid and eternity to gain.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 NKJV
I wish I had known that God desires me to love Him back.
We love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19 NKJV
Now, in Christ I know, that my old life is past. I know that God does not even remember my past foolishness and He has made me new in the blood of Jesus Christ.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV
I do not live in regrets but remember often so I can thank God for where He brought me from.
But I know that there is someone who is reading this who might need to know the things I wish I had known earlier, so that they would not make the mistakes I made.
I know that there is someone who needs to know that experience is a hard and cruel teacher, that it is better and safer to learn by obedience to instruction.
I know there is someone who needs to know that giving their hearts to God brings on so much blessings, blessings that are better experienced than just heard of.
I know that even if you are not that someone, you might know that someone.
I also know that there are some mistakes you made while single that you wish you had not made.
I also know that if you share them here, someone might read, make a change and be blessed.
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2017
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