How To Know A Wrong Relationship
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How To Know A Wrong Relationship

image of a man and woman in a relationship sitting with their backs to each other

How To Know A Wrong Relationship

Most times when it comes to relationships, singles tend to get carried away by emotions without being reasonable in their decisions and choices. There are so many pointers to a wrong relationship and many choose to ignore hoping that when they get married all of those wrongs will disappear.
Some single people do not even realise that there is something wrong in the relationship they are in, they are so blinded by what they are told and/or what they choose to see.
I want to list some pointers to a relationship that could just be wrong, this is so singles can enter and remain in a relationship with their eyes (both spiritual and physical) wide open.

Seven Ways To Know A Wrong Relationship

  1. When You Almost Always Make The Call In The Relationship
    When you are always the one making the phone calls, texting and doing the checking ons. This could be a pointer that you are not really on the priority list of the person you are in a relationship with. If you were that important, he/she would also check on you to see how you are doing rather than ask only when you call or text.
  2. When They Seem Not To Have Time For You
    I agree that some people can have quiet a busy schedule. But no matter how busy anyone appears to be, one would always make time for the one he/she claims to love. When there is no time for your love to spend time with you, maybe not as often as you would love to, but to a very comfortable degree, you should look into the things that he/she does have time for, and know your position on his priority list.
  3. When They Are Not Telling Anyone About You
    If you are not known in His family, at least by one family member, friends, colleague, pastor… something is fishy. When he/she tells you to keep the relationship ‘a secret’ until the ‘right’ time, a ‘right time’ which seems to be elusive, it is a pointer to something being wrong.
    Anyone who says they love you should be too excited to keep you a secret. Click To Tweet
  4. When They Seem To Always Want To Call The Shots
    Your opinions, desires, and choices should matter in a relationship. If everything has to always go his/her way, if he/she always finds a way to convince you that your opinion, choice or decision is not that smart, something is wrong. Worse still, if your opinion is not even sought and he/she makes decisions for you without consulting you. If your opinion does not seem to count, then something is definitely not correct.
  5. When Abuse Is Present
    It begins subtly most time, from simple insulting languages to emotional abuse, then it could get physical. Sometimes it manifests in anger, both implosive and explosive, resulting in violence. Sometimes the violence might not be towards you but other people or things. This is a sign that he/she is abusive and it might turn ugly. Break up and let them go find healing.
  6. When You Have Conflicting Faith And Beliefs
    This is very basic in any relationship, especially for followers of Christ who have been commanded by God not to be unequally yoked with them that believe. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Think about it, when the most important relationship in your life (your relationship with Christ) is not important to him/her, it will always be a strong conflict point in the relationship. Besides, it would be a direct disobedience to God.
  7. When Desire Precedes Obedience
    If your love desires to satisfy his/her sexual desires so much that God’s instruction can be put aside, it couldn’t be more wrong. Especially if it has been discussed before and change is not happening. Anyone who is willing to disobey God’s commands is capable of anything. God has said to keep the marriage bed undefiled Hebrews 13:4 it is obedience to God or nothing else.

Marriage is a very serious matter and must not be entered casually.

It is better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage. Click To Tweet

So if you notice that the relationship you are in is not what it ought to be. If you notice that you cannot live forever with your love, when you see things that you cannot handle and these things do not seem to matter to him/her, then you should consider breaking it up.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. Proverbs 27:12 NLT

I have seen many marriages go down before their first year because they refused to think, they refused to use their minds, they allowed all those emotional bubbles cloud their judgements.

I do not recommend hoping from one relationship to another looking for a perfect one, but I do recommend not hanging in there due to pity, what people will think or say, or just so you can say you are in a relationship.

So you must understand the need for you to pray and ask for God’s counsel even before you go on the very first date. When you get God’s lead, you can rest assured that you have made the right decision no matter the challenge.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do,  and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow.” Isaiah 48:17 NLT

I know the list might not be exhaustive. What else do you think might be a pointer to a wrong relationship?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2017
Sharing With: Messes To Message

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

1 Comment
  • Anonymous
    Posted at 09:53h, 30 May

    NOTE: (No.3). What about when “both parties” decides to take things slowly and figure out if they are in the right relationship… Due to some past experiences? What a beautiful post. Thank you.