Blinded By Ingratitude.
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Blinded By Ingratitude.

Blinded By Ingratitude.

Out of the blues, without asking for it, my husband gave me some generous amount of money to spend on whatever I wanted. I was excited and started thinking of the most important needs I had. And among other things there was this one item that topped my list. A couple of weeks went by and I checked online to see the options I had on the item, I wanted one that would be effective without taking up all the money, so I could get the other items on my list. The ones I saw were too expensive, out of stock or had delivery charges almost twice the cost. Then I thought; “why not check physical stores?”
So I started talking about this item and how I really needed to look for and purchase it from a physical store… One time I went out with my husband and a lady who had offered to take me to a store where I could purchase it, but because my husband also wanted us to get some things and we went for those other things first, we had no time to go in search for the item I wanted.
I was disappointed! This item is a product I really needed to use as soon as possible and I had projected that by that weekend I would be able to use it. I also didn’t like it that my husband didn’t seem bothered that we didn’t get the item that day. He never mentioned anything about it, again…

My Thoughtlessness And My God.
I decided to settle for one of the options I saw online even though it was not the kind I would have desired to purchase. The day I brought it out to use it, my husband started asking questions about it and I started wondering why he was even asking when he was not concerned that after many weeks that I had only just purchased it.
But then I told myself that he had given me this money without my asking and I should be grateful for it. You see, ingratitude is mentioned as part of end time prophecies and I knew I couldn’t be a part of those to fulfil such prophecies…

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 2 Timothy 3:1-2 NLT

Ingratitude is one clog we must take out of the wheel of our marriages. Click To Tweet

God expects us to always be grateful for what we have and I believe for what our spouses do to…
…giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 5:20 NKJV

The spirit of Ingratitude will;
-Blind a person to the good his/her spouse does by keeping him/her focused on what they didn’t do.
-Drive or stifle the joy and laughter the couple should have enjoyed in their relationship.
-Hinder a free flow of communication because one party only sees the things the other is not doing the right.
-Hinder The Spirit of God from operating in the home.
-Cause a bottleneck in the outpouring of blessings on the marriage.

The Spirit of Gratitude on the other hand will;
-Shift focus from what your spouse fails to do to what he/she does do right.
-Encourage and promote joy and laughter in the home.
-Allow for a free flow of healthy conversations and overall communication between husbands and wives.
-Make room for The Spirit of God to operate in the home. God’s Spirit is unable to operate in homes where ingratitude is present.
-Allow for God’s blessings to be poured out on the marriage in abundance.

What if we stopped, and be grateful for the things our spouses did do right? Click To Tweet

If we stay genuinely grateful for the things our spouses do right, they would be encouraged to do more. They would be eager to make the changes we so desire because they know it would be appreciated.

I like the way God deals with me; He always speaks to my heart when I start veering of course in my thoughts. He brought to my mind the fact that my husband just decided to bless me by giving me money I didn’t ask for and how grateful I ought to be for it.
Him not making sure I purchased the exact kind of the product I wanted and when I wanted it shouldn’t make me forget that he is the reason I am even buying the item at all.

I always ask The Holy Spirit to never leave me, never stop rebuking me, never to stop correcting me, and never to stop guiding me.
Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children? My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. Hebrews 12:5-6 MSG

This is one scripture I love so much. It tells me of how loved I am because I am not left to myself. God is with me, working in me to make me be the kind of person, wife and mother He wants me to be. And I am so thankful for this.

Let’s Shift Focus.
If we focus very strongly on being grateful and appreciative for the things our spouses do right, it will cause their short comings to become shadows and eventually blur.
We can all do that; there must be at least one thing our spouses do right, if we stay grateful for that one thing, God will cause us to see our spouses do the other “right things” we desire.
We can choose gratitude instead of complaining, appreciation instead of criticism and we can choose to be thankful all the time for the thing(s) our spouses do.

…And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15 NLT

In what ways do we allow ingratitude clog our relationships with our spouses?
How can we deal with this sneaky spirit and prevent it from operating?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2017

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Beth
    Posted at 17:03h, 01 March

    Amen! And Amen, Ugochi! This is so true. I did this just a few weeks ago. My husband was affirming me and I wanted him to explain more completely what he was affirming me for. I was fishing for “more” affirmation and didn’t even stop to thank him for the first and unsolicited words of encouragement! How foolish I can be sometimes! But like you, Ugochi, the Lord has convicted me about these lapses in gratitude and a proper focus–especially in marriage. Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing such an important challenge to us all!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 22:15h, 01 March

      Isn’t it so beautiful that God does not leave us to go on in our errors?
      Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging us here too.
      Do have a super blessed day Beth!

  • Cheryl
    Posted at 23:30h, 28 February

    Wonderful thoughts today, my friend, as always. Thank you for being so transparent and for sharing your struggles with us here. You are such a blessing to us all. Sending you love and hugs!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 22:06h, 01 March

      Thanks Cheryl! I appreciate your constant encouragement here and on your blog as well.
      Do have a super blessed day!