Steve and Mandy are a Christian couple who got married about six years ago. They have had the most turbulent relationship in their relationship and many times both of them, without each other knowing had thought they were married to the wrong person.
Fights over any and everything, arguments with dying tempers and raised voices characterized their marriage. They had so many bad marriage days that any time there was some sort of happiness in their relationship they felt uneasy and afraid; each thinking the other would soon mess up they day.
They went to Church, volunteered in small groups, read their Bibles, prayed, attended marriage seminars. They thought they were ‘doing well’ as believers, so why couldn’t they get their marriage to be great or at least function?
Steve knew some colleagues at work who seem to be doing great in their marriages, they hardly even went to Church or talked about Christ. They always told stories about their marriages and spouses that suggested they were having great times in their marriage. What in the world is wrong with Mandy? Why is she so complicated and unyielding…
Mandy has very thriving friendships outside her marriage; in fact, she is the life of the parents’ group at their daughter’s school. She didn’t see why her husband made it so difficult to have a peaceful conversation. Most of her fellow parents never looked like they had problems in their marriages. They always had a glow about them whenever they spoke about their marriages, they are not even Christians. She often faked happiness when they were together, so that they would not notice that she was so unhappy in her home. Why is Steve so stubborn? He is so insensitive and uncaring, hardly ever cared to know how she was doing…
Marriage is a union very dear to God’s heart. He is the creator of marriage. We all know that God conducted the first marriage. Every thing God created is good. Marriage is a blessing to man, God saw that neither man nor woman was good alone, He created marriage to bring us joy and make our lives rich.
God’s blessing makes life rich; nothing we do can improve on God. Proverbs 10:22 MSG
God never created anything to cause pain or sorrow to man (male and female). Only the devil tries to corrupt God’s creation and he often does this by leading man to disobey God. God has given us all the tools to have and enjoy heaven on earth in our marriages, He did not leave us without a clue or help.
Christian couples have an edge in marriage.
–The world should learn marriage from us.
–We are supposed to model marriage as it should be for the world to see, desire and follow.
–We are supposed to enjoy marriage and bring God glory in our marriages.
–Our marriages should add to our joys not cause sorrow or pain.
We Have An Edge Over The World;
1. We have the manual to make our marriages heaven on earth.
The Bible spells it all out for us. God has told us in details what to do and how to do it for us to enjoy success in our marital relations.
We must be willing to look inwards and deal with our own short comings. We must use the mirror of God’s word to make ourselves better wives and husbands to our spouses.
All Scripture is God-breathed [given by divine inspiration] and is profitable for instruction, for conviction [of sin], for correction [of error and restoration to obedience], for training in righteousness [learning to live in conformity to God’s will, both publicly and privately—behaving honourably with personal integrity and moral courage]; 2 Timothy 3:16 AMP
We must be willing to put in our very best into our spouses’ lives and our marriages, whether or not our spouses are doing their part.
Reading and following the instructions in the Bible will make a success of our marriages. Click To Tweet
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall read [and meditate on] it day and night, so that you may be careful to do [everything] in accordance with all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will be successful. Joshua 1:8 AMP
The problem is, we refuse to follow His instruction. We choose to follow our flesh than the instructions in God’s word. The reason for struggle and difficulties in marriages is disobedience of God’s word.
Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard. Proverbs 13:15
In the fictitious story I wrote above, Steve thinks Mandy is the problem and Mandy thinks Steve is the problem. They focused on blame rather than obedience.
2. We have The Holy Spirit.
Imagine that the Omnipotent (All Powerful), Omnipresent (Ever Present), Omniscient (All Knowing) God lives right in us. We should not fail in life or marriage if we call Him into our marriages, we can draw all that we need to succeed in our homes.
But the [a]Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you. John 14:26 AMP
The Holy Spirit has been given to us to be with us forever.
This is an edge for us, because the world does not have This Awesome Person. They can operate their marriage from the realm of the spirit alone, and this realm is limited. We have A Supernatural Help available for us every moment, we can operate from the unlimited realm of the spirit.
The challenge is, most believers try to do it on their own. They ignore This great Helper that has been given to us, even when He nudges us we ignore Him and follow our flesh.
Some times we cannot even sense His nudge because our flesh is too loud that our spirit cannot hear Him; a result of how much we have paid attention to our flesh to the detriment of our spirit.
With The Holy Spirit, we have an edge over marriages of The World Click To Tweet.
3. We have community.
While I agree that we should not make a public show or tale of our marriages, I don’t agree that couples who are having challenges cannot consult proven Christian Couples for help. Young marriages especially should have older couples to counsel and guide them through the early years of their marriage. We should enjoy that from the Church community.
The Holy Spirit can speak to us through older couples who have gone through what we are going through at the moment. In our prayers and study of God’s Word, God can put a couple in our hearts to submit to as mentees, people who would pray with us, share their stories with us and make us accountable husbands and wives.
Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14 AMP
This couple could be your pastor and his wife, your Christian boss and his/her spouse (If you have that kind of relationship), your parents or grand-parents or any Christian Couple God might point you to.
The challenge here is that many times christian couples choose to suffer in silence, sometimes pride prevent them from seeking help, some are afraid that their story might get out, while some may be too shy to discuss their marriage with couples like I have mentioned.
Some times, it is better to take the risk; risk your pride, risk vulnerability, risk being found out and stand the chance to receive the help you need. The important thing is that the problem is solved and your marriage thrives.
If we must risk self, pride, vulnerability and being ‘found out’ then it is worth it as long as our marriages are saved.
Christian marriages should add to the joys of every spouse. God created marriages to please Him and in pleasing Him we find and enjoy the blessedness of marriage. Christian marriages are tools in God’s hands to establish His will on earth. He could do it without us but He chose to use us, we should count it a privilege and make the very most of it.
We must recognise the help available for us in marriage and employ them too our advantage and to the glory of our Father.
Do you recognize the help you have for your marriage?
Are you making the most of this help?
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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