Dangers Of Independence In Marriage.
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Dangers Of Independence In Marriage.

Dangers Of Independence In Marriage.

I have seen and heard of marriages where couples were always too comfortable away from each other. With time it became obvious that it was not a good thing. I was reminded again in a discussion of the dangers of couples living independent of each other when someone said it always seemed choky when the spouse came into the house, because they had gotten used to not really sharing each other’s lives.

That reminded me of one time when I told my husband that I do not ever want to “like it” when he is not at home or in town. I had to tell him because I was beginning to get too comfortable with his many travels at the time and was beginning to enjoy it. I kind of started enjoying the “me time” I often got whenever he is not home.

Some people complain that someone cannot make two sentences without mentioning their spouse.

But that is a good thing, we should drink into each other so much that we live and breathe each other, we should be inseparable so much so that we are not very comfortable when our spouse is not with us. After all, God Himself calls us one.

And the two shall become one flesh; so that they are no longer two, but [are united as] one flesh. Mark 10:8 AMP

There is no point getting married if you would want to live independent of your spouse. Click To Tweet

In marriage, couples ought to depend solely on God while living interdependently with each other. 

To live interdependently with your spouse means to mutually depend on each other. This is especially healthy when both of you solely depend on God.

To live in independence in your marriage means to live free from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like of your spouse.
Now, that does not sound good to me, does it to you?

Some Signs You Are Living Independent Of Your Spouse.

  1. You always look forward to when your spouse would be out of the house or out of town.
  2. You almost no longer consult with your spouse in major decision making.
  3. You begin to feel like your spouse is getting too much into your space.
  4. You no longer want to be influenced by your spouse’s thoughts on anything.
  5. You hardly ask your spouse for help or support in any area of your life or anything you do.
  6. It no longer bothers you whether or not your spouse cares about you or anything that happens to you.
  7. You feel your spouse is taking to much to himself/herself when he/she tires to advise you on any matter.
  8. What goes on with your spouse does not bother you any more.
  9. Your spouse can come and go as he/she pleases and you are fine.
  10. You are a lot happier when your spouse is not home.

Now some of these things are results of other problems as much as they are of independence.

God did not intend for husbands and wives to live as if they do not need each other. Click To Tweet

He wants us to be so into each other, interdependent on each other and need each other to the point where we are one with each other.

We must nurture our marriages to the point where our hearts beat as one and we do not feel at ease when the other is not around.

Nevertheless, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also man is born through the woman; and all things [whether male or female] originate from God [as their Creator]. 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 AMP

Read Matthew Henry’s commentary on these verses:

11. Yet neither sex is insulated and independent of the other in the Christian life [ALFORD]. The one needs the other in the sexual relation; and in respect to Christ (“in the Lord”), the man and the woman together (for neither can be dispensed with) realize the ideal of redeemed humanity represented by the bride, the Church. 12. As the woman was formed out of (from) the man, even so is man born by means of woman; but all things (including both man and woman) are from God as their source ( Romans 11:36 , 2 Corinthians 5:18 ). They depend mutually each on the other, and both on him.

Have you thought about this?
Are you living independent of your spouse?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2016
Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Cheryl
    Posted at 16:33h, 14 April

    This is such a good topic to discuss. Thank you for always gently bringing us back to the Bible and being faithful to write what God places upon your heart. Sending you love from the USA!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 11:19h, 15 April

      Many thanks dear sister. The Bible, God’s word is our only hope for living in all areas of our lives. We cannot help but learn it and share it.
      Thanks for coming by, and do have a super blessed weekend!

  • Beth
    Posted at 15:44h, 13 April

    I’d say that most of the wives and couples that I counsel and coach have come to this point in their marriages where they are so independent of one another, Ugochi. On a rare occasion I’ll have a wife who complains that her husband is too clingy or vice versa. And many times these scenarios begin because one or both spouses have such demanding jobs or jobs involving travel, so it becomes a “temptation” to feel comfortable when the spouse is away, like you described, Ugochi. As usual, you hit on such relevant and needed truths that we need to face in marriage and life. Thanks for shining a light on this important topic, my friend!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 14:07h, 14 April

      I know, when jobs are too demanding and travels are too many, it can cause some damages if not properly handled. I pray such couples will find a way out in order to still “need” each other.
      Thanks Beth for coming by, do have a super blessed day!