Marriage And Chores.

23 Nov Marriage And Chores.

Many decades ago chores posed little or no problems in marriages because most women stayed home all day doing “nothing” but minding the house and the children which is already a whole lot of work. There is no job as demanding as that.
Also most families in my part of the world, had a lot of extended family members living in and helping out with house chores and baby minding.

Today however, because most mothers work outside the home and some do businesses from home, chores are beginning to become an area of concern and strain in most marriages.
Both husband and wife come home tired from work and in most cases the man expects his wife to do all the home chores alone.
In some homes the reverse is the case; the man is the one who runs around in the house, looking after the kids, doing the school runs, and cooking as well as minding their Jobs and businesses.

Marriage And Chores. Click To Tweet

The other spouse may be ignorant, inconsiderate, or lack understanding that he or she needs to step in and help his/her spouse.

Two Extremes.
You know, in the past it is common thought that men are not supposed to help with chores. The women do all the work at home and the men in trying to rest from the day’s work do not give a hoot about how hard their wives are working. In recent times though, because of needed additional income in homes, women think it is an imbalance since they work outside the home too.

And now that men are attempting to help, some women have taken it for granted and completely withdrawn from picking a pin in their homes, leaving all the chores including minding their husbands and children to the maids… Or husbands…

Proferred Solution.
My spiritual mother always advises women to delegate all the chores that can be delegated and handle those that must be done by her alone. This includes but is not limited to her husband’s food and their bedroom business. Also, women must learn the art of knowing what MUST be done and what can wait. That way they leave their energies for the most important thing at the time.
I am learning to do the MUSTS for the day so that I am not tired and irritable,  it is a bit slow but I am making progress.

Men on the other hand should learn to assist their wives in the home, no matter how little at a time. Every woman would appreciate that her husband cares about her enough not to watch her work herself to the bones.
My husband helps with house chores till date, in the kitchen and bedroom… When our boys were younger, despite his heavy workload, he helped in everything from bathing, to changing diapers, to feeding, to rocking to sleep… all the works, except breast feeding.
When I was pregnant with our first, he did the shopping and cooking too… It does not make him less a man, if anything, it has earned him respect and appreciation in our home. Plus, our boys are learning how to be a help to their wives when they get married.

A lack of wisdom in handling chores have caused some major rift in marriages. Click To Tweet

I believe, like for any other issue, dialogue is in order. Couples should discuss on how to handle the home chores, nothing is too little or too big to talk about and agree upon. If maids need to step in then so be it, as long as their employment enhances the marital relationship of the couple instead of the reverse.
I used to frown at having maids but I discovered that for any virtuous (not lazy) woman to be effective as a wife, she would need help. Read Proverbs 31
However, care must be taken when choosing a home staff because the enemy is using every available tool to enter and destroy marriages.
Also, if one spouse has to change jobs to make more room for family, then that should be considered too.

The bottom line here is, couples are to help each other in marriage. I know that running the home rests majorly on the woman according to scriptures and biblical examples, but men should help or she will not be effective in discharging her duties. And it goes both ways.
We are in marriage together and helping each other in ways we need to be helped will grow our marriages and give the enemy no room for his gimmicks.

Don’t provide an opportunity for the devil. Ephesians 4:27 CEV

It can be a fun thing doing chores together in the home, it can bring quite some zing into our relationships with our spouses.

Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor. Ecclesiastes 4:9 AMP

What is your thought on handling chores in marriage?
How does it work at your home?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2015

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