Each time I read one of the popular scriptures on love in 1 Corinthians 13, I marvel and wonder if one could ever be all of that. How much can one bear? How can one be all of that even when he or she is aggrieved? How can a couple bear everything their spouse throws at them?
How can I bear all the ‘wrongs’ my husband does to me?
How can he bear all the ‘not-nice-things’ I say or do to him?
One important thing is to believe that your spouse did not really MEAN to hurt you. It was no deliberate act and/or it was a slip.
Love… is ever ready to believe the best of every person. 1 Corinthians 13:17b AMP
I remember when I used to cry to God and say things like, ‘Lord, I cannot take this any more.’
That would be times when my husband has done little nothings like;
- Leaving bits of beard hair in the sink after shaving
- Not holding me through the night
- Leaving his floating ‘business’ in the toilet for me to look at
- Always making messes I have to clean up
Or things a bit more serious like;
- Raising his voice on me when I say or do something out of place
- Preaching to me instead of holding me when I cry
- Sleeping off when I feel like he hurt me
Then God Speaks.
I have a cute little teddy bear on my Dressing Table Mirror and attached to it’s belly is a flat square wood with the inscription — “Love Makes All Things Bearable.”
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes… Corinthians 13:7 AMP
Many times when my love is tested and I sit up on my bed or stand before the mirror, somehow my eyes will wander to the belly of my cute little teddy. And I always feel like God is talking to me through it even though sometimes I have felt like trashing this teddy. But if God spoke through a donkey, He can speak through a bear even if it is a teddy.
There is a common saying that charity begins at home, and I know it holds through in almost all situations. Love is tested mostly in really close relationships, in family, in marriage.
God expects that we bear our spouses’ weaknesses, no matter how strong, long and/or hard.
Love… Puts up with anything… 1 Corinthians 13:7a MSG
Why And How?
According to Macmillan Dictionary, to put up with something or someone means ‘to put up with someone/something to accept someone or something unpleasant in a patient way.’
God expects that we, as believers learn to bear our spouse’s wrongs patiently waiting for God to work in them like He is working in us.
He expects that we bear the wrongs that we have been done in all relationships with the right attitudes (patience, kindness, humility, gentility, selflessness, even-temper, forgiveness…) We all are work-in-progress in more than one area.
We should bear it remembering that:
- God commands it
- We hurt them too
- We are not perfect too
- God is at work in them, like He is working in us
And may the Lord cause you to increase and excel and overflow in love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you; so that He may strengthen and establish your hearts without blame in holiness in the sight of our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all His saints (God’s people). 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13 AMP
And this I pray, that your love may abound more and more [displaying itself in greater depth] in real knowledge and in practical insight, so that you may learn to recognize and treasure what is excellent [identifying the best, and distinguishing moral differences], and that you may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ [actually living lives that lead others away from sin]; 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God [so that His glory may be both revealed and recognized]. Philippians 1:9-10 AMP
We can grow our love to the point where nothing our spouses do hurt us anymore.
- By spending time in God’s presence.
- By spending time studying His word and leaning on Him for obedience.
- By speaking His word of love back into our spirits.
- By deliberately stepping out to practice love, we get better with practice.
I am not saying we should condone wrong, ESPECIALLY ABUSE, but we can, through and in love refuse to be offended and think or react negatively towards our spouses as a result of offense.
Remember that God is no task master, He will not give us more than we can bear or ask us to do what He has not wired us to do.
Will you join me and work on growing in love?
How are you bearing all things in your marriage?
Copyright© Teshuva 2015
Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday