I have had to talk with some men or women who tell me that their spouses have changed suddenly. They are beginning to bring on some attitude that never existed, they are talking funny, making statements and using hurtful words that they had never heard come out of their mouths.
Some people blame it totally on their spouses while some others blame it totally on themselves. Some are confused and do not even know what to think. Some are frustrated and feel choked in the marriage and think they have to escape or they will snap.
Usually when we marry our husbands and wives we get very used to how we know them to be and find it difficult to handle any change in them except of course it is a change towards to the good.
When people say their spouse suddenly changed:
“He/she never used to this or that, be like this or like that, talk like this or like that.”
Sometimes these “changes” leave them confused and angry.
They get upset, react, nag, complain without really finding solutions but rather make things worse.
I suggest the following:
1. Don’t assume he/she knows they are acting strange and different from before.
Bring it up gently and let him or her know that they are acting strange towards you. Sometimes we are not conscious of how we react or we already finish reacting before we realise what we’ve done. It might be that your spouse does not realize that there is a change in their response to you, attitude to you, actions and reactions to you.
So yes; bring it up for discussion and your spouse might see from your perspective, apologize and make changes.
2. Lovingly ask why he/she is acting differently.
Sometimes you may not get an immediate response. It can be very hard to deal with when you are trying to solve a problem and your husband or wife refuses to open up for discussion. Two wrongs don’t make right, so you must resolve to be patient and loving while you persist on dialogue.
Refuse anger or the temptation to give up and ignore.
3. Search your heart.
It is also important that you search your heart to know if you have done anything that might have caused a change in your husband’s or wife’s attitude. Sometimes you may have wronged your spouse without knowing it and your spouse might have misunderstood you and taken offence as a result.
4. Pray for your spouse.
Sometimes wrong influences, information, pressures from work, extended family or life in general might be the reason for a wrong attitude in your spouse.
Whatever it is, you must take time to pray for your spouse and ask that The Holy Spirit help him/her to overcome whatever it is and get back to being the spouse you have always enjoyed.
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:19 NIV
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