01 Jul The Things I Hate About Marriage.
I love marriage, I truly do. I had no examples of a bad marriage growing up, my parents had a very good marriage. If they ever had a fight, my siblings and I never saw or noticed anything. So yes, I love marriage and being married myself, I have no regrets even though there are som ethings I hate about marriage.
Almost everything has its up and down sides and I want to share some things I consider the down sides of marriage for me, and I know you might agree with me after reading, that there are somethings to hate about marriage.
1. It Is Restricting.
I don’t like the fact that I cannot go any where I want to whenever I want to, how ever I want to. I hate the fact that I have to tell where I am going to, when I am going and with whom I am going. In fact, I don’t like the fact that I feel like I have to always report my every move to my spouse. I feel restricted…
I would love to be free, like single people who have left their parents’ home, to take decisions and make choices as I please without having to answer to anyone.
But I love it!
It is teaching me accountability and responsibility all over again. We all need accountability and responsibility to live a good life. Anyone who despises to be accountable to anyone is headed for destruction. If you are unwilling to be accountable to your spouse then you are not ready for marriage, or you are ready for a marriage that ends in the rocks.
So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God. Romans 14:12 NASB
2. It Is Demanding.
The demands marriage put on one can be very overwhelming. I don’t like the fact that I have to give up my time, energy, sleep sometimes and body… in marriage. I don’t like the fact that I have to love even when I don’t feel like loving, cook when I don’t feel like it, clean, care for my spouse and children when I need caring for. Most of the times I don’t like the demands marriage put upon me…
But I love it!
Marriage is helping me learn to be selfless, it is helping me know how to truly love inspite of my emotions and feelings, it is teaching me that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Marriage is helping me to realise that my life is not for me alone, it is not about me, myself and I.
Marriage is teaching me how to put my needs aside and serve others like Christ would.
Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honour to one another. Romans 12:10 AMP
3. It Is Humbling.
I don’t like the fact that God wants me to ALWAYS submit to my spouse even when I feel like I know better than him. I don’t like what marriage does to my PRIDE (oops)! I hate to admit that many times I have not seen the reason why I should apologize when I did no wrong (in my own eyes) or be nice even when I am upset.
But I love it!
God CANNOT lift me to the exaplted place He has for me with my pride, that is one weight He CANNOT handle. So as I learn to submit to my spouse as unto the Lord, it becomes easier for God to lift me to the heights He has planned and purposed for me.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 1 Peter 5:6
4. It Is Quite Testing.
Marriage is way too testing. It tests and tries everything in me, my heart condition, my motives, my character, my words, my attitude, my pride, my… everything. I often discover things in me I didn’t know existed, things I never thought I was capable of doing and I discover short falls I didn’t know existed. I don’t like that at all, I like to think that I have no short coming but…
But I love it!
Now I can learn and grow, as I am tested and tried, as I submit myself to the tutelage and discipline of The Holy Spirit, I become a better person, a better Christian, a better daughter, a better woman, a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend, a better leader and influencer.
But He knows the way that I take [He has concern for it, appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminous]. Job 23:10 AMP
I am sure now you know the things I hate about marriage are mostly the things God would use to shape and mould me into a better person. But how my FLESH often cries out and wants to keep me the same person I was even before my new birth.
But I refuse, I WILL yield to the loving leading, instruction and discipline of My Father, so that my marriage here on earth would be a training ground, preparing me for the marriage supper in heaven!
Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready. Revelation 19:7 ESV
- What are the things you hate about marriage?
- How are they helping you grow spiritually?
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2015
Image Credit: hdwallpapers
Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday
Esther onimisiPosted at 16:40h, 09 July
S Cheryl Smith. Sounds like you have a great husband or you are a great wife. ❤️
Esther onimisiPosted at 16:35h, 09 July
Marriage is a school. There is no training ground like it. What amazes me most is the fact that the singles think of marriage as romantic. However the reality and the dream are miles apart. I discovered my reality when I said the words ‘I do’.
Sorry I had to repost my edited version.
mrs confidence osuagwuPosted at 20:27h, 03 July
Is it quite good to marry ur age mate
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 11:33h, 06 July
There is nothing wrong with that. Only thing that matters is beliefs and values.
KayodePosted at 19:03h, 02 July
My sister I honestly love this write up. It really blessed me. Marriage is a great challenge! God designed it to challenge us to become much more than we could ever be as individuals. I love the challenge of marriage, and it is only when we face challenges that we tend to do much more than we could ever imagine. Thanks for your honesty and words of wisdom.
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 12:54h, 03 July
I am happy to know this blessed you. Marriage is indeed very challenging and transforming.
Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving a note.
Do have a super blessed weekend!
Cheryl SmithPosted at 14:27h, 02 July
I guess I am just so grateful for my dear husband, I cannot find anything to hate about marriage. It is a very long story, but God did miracles to bring our lives together and orchestrate the details, and He has just blessed me SO much. When it comes to love, you truly don’t count the cost, as the song says. Coming from a very difficult place, then brought into a union of souls with a man who is SO good to me just fills me with new joy and gratitude every, single day. I can’t thank God enough for my husband, our marriage, and the life He has given us together…I cherish every second…even when life is so incredibly hard…it means so much to handle it all together and not alone, by God’s grace.
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 13:00h, 03 July
I understand Cheryl. Not complaining at all, just saying that my flesh cries out as my spirit is growing in marriage.
Love bears all things even when the flesh would have non of it and it is all by God’s grace.
Debby DykPosted at 12:39h, 02 July
I’m not married, but honestly, these are some of the things I hate about marriage
Also, your ‘but I love it…s’ are some of the real things about marriage God leads me to know, when I think about them…
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 12:57h, 03 July
Great to know you are getting yourself ready for marriage Debby.
Thanks for coming by and have a super blessed weekend!
BethPosted at 21:28h, 01 July
I love the way you’ve juxtaposed the aspects of marriage that you hate with what you love and appreciate. It truly is a mixed-bag of hardship and blessings. And often those hardships are the soil God uses to bear the fruit of those blessings as you’ve so wisely pointed out for us, Ugochi. Thanks so much for the inspiration and honesty you provide for us!
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 12:55h, 03 July
Thanks very much Beth, I always love to read your wisdom here.
Do have a super blessed weekend!
Joanne ViolaPosted at 14:55h, 01 July
It’s so true. Marriage has so been an instrument in my life by which I have been changed. Not easy. Sometimes painful. But always worth it! Blessings!
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 12:50h, 03 July
It is indeed an instrument in God’s hands and I thank Him for it. Many thanksfor coming by Joanne, have a super blessed weekend!
chigurlPosted at 16:00h, 01 July
i related so much with the lesson on selflessness. For me that has been the hardest thing and most times it still is to be honest, but God’s grace is ever sufficient to carry through and transform us.
Really enjoyed reading this.
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 12:51h, 03 July
I am glad you did Chigurl. Thanks for coming by and leaving a note.
Have a super blessed weekend!