I'm Better Without My Spouse. - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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I’m Better Without My Spouse.

I’m Better Without My Spouse.

I'm beter without my spouse“I do not need my spouse to survive or thrive.”
“I am fine by myself.”
“I have not had to argue with anyone since she left.”
“I have been able to take care of myself since he has not been around.”

I heard these kinds of statements in recent times and it really got me thinking…
Yes, you can live, survive and even thrive without your spouse.
Yes, you can enjoy peace when you are by yourself since you don not have to bother your head about another person.

When there are constant quarrels, misunderstandings, fights, anger and all those emotional and physical upheavals it can be quite difficult and painful to stay a relationship and marriage.

But giving up, throwing in the towel, and running out of the marriage is not the best option or solution to the problem.

God Sees You As One.
And the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Mark 10:8 AMP

When you get married, you are one, not only because the Pastor or Priest said so, but because God says so. Click To Tweet

God sees you as one flesh. Imagine someone pulling your arm, or feet, or nose or any other part of your body to yank it off from the rest of your body. How excruciating would that be?

Same thing applies in marriage. When a couple seeks to pull away from each other because they are tired and weary from working at their marriage and making the right and necessary adjustments to make their marriage work, they inflict pain on their marriage; spirit, soul and body.

Lies Of The Devil.
The enemy sells lies to couples many times, telling them:
They do not need each other
They would enjoy so much liberty with out each other
Life would be more peaceful without their spouse
They have all they need to look after themselves
They’d be better off without each other
They don’t need to stay married…

Again I must state that I do not subscribe to staying married if it means death…

But a couple chickening out of a marriage because they simply got tired of working as hard it takes, refusing to depend solely on God’s word, instructions and help is not God pleasing at all.

It Will Work If You Work It With Persistence.
Every good thing requires work, hard work. Every building that stands has taken some level of hard work to stay erected and beautiful.

Marriage is a good thing. It cannot start, stay and survive if work is not put into it; sometimes it takes work, sometimes really hard work and at other times lingering very hard work. But in the end, we have guaranteed victory if we refuse to stop working at it, if we refuse to entertain the suggestions of the enemy, if we refuse to consider any other option but to stay and work hard at it.

But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded. 2 Chronicles 15:7 ESV

Infidelity is a permission Jesus gave in Matthew 5:32 but there is a higher law and command He has also given; that of love and forgiveness.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love, forgiveness and acceptance have cured many hearts, homes and marriages of infidelity. I know it is not as easy as it reads, but it is possible and I believe better than the pain of yanking off the body parts…

The thought that, “I can do better without my spouse” has been a major lie of the enemy to tear marriages apart. Click To Tweet

If you ask a sincere person who has made a rash decision to end a marriage, they will tell you that looking back they would have done things differently.

Remember that yanking any part of you body off cannot happen without PAIN, and that is what couples inflict on themselves, breaking God’s heart when you opt out of your marriage that God pronounced and sees as ONE.

  • Have you ever thought of bliss without your spouse?
  • Do you play with the thought of life back as a single person?

Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2015
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Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • kayode
    Posted at 14:40h, 15 July

    Fantastic write up there Ugochi. Marriage is truly a beautiful thing, if and only if we understand the purpose of it. It is said that when purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable! The purpose or benefits of marriage is highlighted in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. The first reason for marriage is to make us better people and to help us achieve better and greater results than we can ever accomplish as individuals. So why should we settle for less? Secondly, marriage was instituted for upliftment, help and support. The third reason for marriage is for procreation and a holy platform to express and enjoy our sexuality, which could be very frustrating if not expressed. Finally, marriage was designed for protection from the enemy and external oppression and control. I’m currently working on a write-up on this. Thanks again my Sister for sharing. I’m really inspired!!!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 14:57h, 15 July

      And thanks for coming by again Kayode. I appreciate your comments and encouragements.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Deborah Okeke
    Posted at 16:00h, 10 July

    hello pst,
    staying better without one’s life partner,is not a good sign in marriage,it could lead to divorce.GOD created them husband and wife for them to cohabite together under the same roof,just like (Adam and Eve),with love that will never end.Yea i totally agree with you when you write: “Love, forgiveness and acceptance have cured many hearts, homes and marriages of infidelity. I know it is not as easy as it reads, but it is possible and I believe better than the pain of yanking off the body parts… “. That’s exactly what we christian need in our marriage for it to last long,because in this world .But married couple can make their marriage perfect by keeping the words of GOD,living together & praying together, knowing that marriage is an institution from GOD, and not from man.
    Thank you pst,love you and GOD bless you.

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 13:45h, 13 July

      Amen! God bless you too! Many thanks Deborah, have a super blessed week!

  • Cheryl Smith
    Posted at 17:01h, 10 July

    There is so much truth here, Ugochi. And the ones who suffer the most from the “severing” of a marital relationship are the children who love both parents and are torn in half over the separation. It is true…the longer we remain with one person, the more “one” we become. Our emotions become so interwined…we cannot help but to feel pain when they feel pain, etc. Marriage is a beautiful thing, and I can’t thank God enough every, single day for my dear husband. So thankful GOD created the institution of marriage. What a beautiful way to live life!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 13:47h, 13 July

      Marriage is a beautiful thing Cheryl and I am glad so many can say so even with all the sad news we hitting the media at this time.
      I always appreciate your coming by sister, do have a super blessed week!

  • Aimee Imbeau
    Posted at 17:50h, 09 July

    There were times in the early years of marriage when I was ready to give up and walk out..now, after 17 years, I am so thankful I stayed. We have gotten to the ‘good stuff’. Those hard times proved to be the events that brought my husband and I closer together. Without those struggles, without those lessons, we would not be as strong as we are today. There is no other person I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.
    Divorce is so far reaching, it doesn’t just affect the couple who were married. The effects are long lasting and go beyond the couple.
    Thanks for your great post.

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 13:44h, 13 July

      Yes indeed, it crushes so many other things and people along with it. We all have those early ‘want to give up’ years, and like you I am glad we did not quit.
      Many thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts, do have a super blessed week!