I do not know any man or woman that loves to share his or her spouse with someone else. Okay well, I know a couple of people, ladies mostly, and surprisingly young ladies (especially in Africa) who walk into a marriage with man and wife or wives. These people are only exceptions… they have reasons why they went in and I am not about to discuss any of those here.
There is no man or woman in their right mind who is delighted to know that their wife or husband is having an affair adulterous relationship with some other person(s). It can be a very devastating discovery which could lead to many things…
- The anger and desire to fight, destroy, defame, deface, confront… This is not the best way to go. No thing done in anger produces good results.
- The thought that you did something wrong that lead to him/her desiring someone else. This might be true, because sometimes a person’s negative attitude might become an issue and when a spouse sees someone who seems to soothe the hurt…
…BUT THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR ADULTERY
- The desire to just pack up and leave, thinking that your spouse is no good and does not love you anymore.
People make mistakes and adultery is one of them, sometimes the people who commit adultery do not set out to commit the act from the beginning; they ignored caution and signals, thought they were very strong or they simply played into it.
Should I forgive my spouse in adultery? Should I let him/her into my bed again? Isn’t this the ground for divorce?
But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. Matthew 5:32 AMP
Adultery is the only ground Jesus has allowed for divorce.
So if you discover your spouse has committed this sin, and you cannot take it and you divorce him or her, you have not sinned.
However, there is something greater than judgement – MERCY.
You Can Forgive.
I know…I know… please drop the stone… How can one forgive a spouse that had the heart to cheat, defile the marriage bed and break covenant? I know it is a very hard thing to ask or give, but really, what degree of sin can God not forgive. If He could forgive us of our numerous sins of varying degrees, if He could forgive us of our many slips and even accept us again and again after many times we have turned from Him… adultery can be forgiven too, and the offender accepted. We all have the grace to forgive, we only need to activate and use it.
Please understand that I do not support adultery or adulterous people, some have chosen never to be faithful to their spouses, some do not consider it any big deal, especially those without Christ.
What I am saying is, if your spouse commits adultery, is sorry and asks for mercy, you should be able to forgive, knowing that you too were forgiven.
…Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:14 NLT
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4: 32 ESV
Do you think adultery is forgivable?
Copyright© Teshuva 2015
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