13 Jun Hiding My Scars.
We (my husband and I) went for an event early last month, it was a milestone celebration for my family’s covenant family friends. A meeting that was scheduled a day after the event was running into a late night and after waiting almost endlessly for my husband and his colleagues to round up so we can retire for the day, I decided to go to our hosts house and relax a bit before my husband picks me to our hotel room.
I stepped out to the front of the office building and asked some of the protocol officers I saw to please drop me off. They said I should hold on a bit for the car they wanted to use to get back from an errand. I saw one of the organisation buses parked in front of me and told them to take me in it since it was not engaged.
They refused and insisted that I wait for the car… it won’t be long. I was not ready to wait another minute and I walked to the bus door and told them to please take me in it, I had had a long day and just wanted to relax. They begged and confessed that they had been instructed not to take me in the bus, the SUV was assigned to take us around. I told them not to mind (the bus was in a pretty great shape so I wondered) I told them I would let their leader know I insisted.
I wish I had listened to them. We had a smooth ride to the house and as I tried to get off the bus, my right foot slipped into the rail ring of the bus at the same time when one of the officers was opening the door. It rested on my shin as it pushed it backward with the door causing a drilling pain that I could only express with a shrill…
The apologies were profuse, I tried to laugh in the midst of the pain as I nodded and told them it was an accident, but the pain was real… and pain full.
I applied any and everything from juice of basil leaves (recommended by my host), spirit, first Aid spray, antibiotic ointments recommended by our doctor, Aloe First spray… few days later with a slightly swollen but painful ankle I got painful but loving massages from my husband and a nanny at our Church Creche… and then the ankle got healed, the injury got healed too but left a scar, an ugly scar.
I didn’t like it, the scar was dark and against my light skin it looked like it was screaming for notice from everyone. People started asking questions, and I had to start explaining almost all the time…
I decided to hide it. Out came all the long skirts and pants, daily, on every occasion, the scar had to be covered. But as much as I tried to cover it, my husband knew it was there, my children knew and I knew too.
We all have scars we want to hide, cover, remove… scars from bad decisions, slip ups, mistakes, bad choices, persecutions, rejections, dejection, abuse and more. We feel vulnerable when someone mistakenly notices a scar we didn’t intend to expose or we were not quite ready to.
But really…THE SCAR IS A TESTIMONY!
A testimony that with all the blows life dealt you, you are still standing:
- Sinned, forgiven and still standing
- Battled with suicidal thoughts but still standing
- Scarred by your decisions but still standing
- Bruised but still standing
- Abused but still standing
- Used and misused but still standing
- rejected but still standing
- Dejected but still standing
- Lied on, cheated on, taken for granted, mocked at, looked down on…
…but still standing
If you have managed to move on even in the midst of the struggles, if you have managed to live life with all the scars, then your life, like mine is a testimony! Hallelujah!
God’s Teaching Moment.
Few days ago, I went to see a dermatologist who analyzed the scar and put me on some medication to take it off, and that was when God spoke to me. I had to expose my scars to the doctor for her to be able to help me.
If I expose my scars to Jesus, He knows the best way to take care of them. How He chooses to take care of them is totally up to Him. If I could trust a mere man because she is an expert on skin, then I should, with much more secure trust, expose my scars just as it is, to the one who made me; spirit, soul and body, after all, He is The Great Physician.
Please meditate on:
- If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
- If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath. Psalm 34:18 MSG
- And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 NLT
- Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:24 ESV
- I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11 MSG
And finally the Holy Spirit was sent…
- To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:3
Instead of being ashamed of our scars, we should be bold and courageous enough to expose them to God knowing that only He truly cares and can take care of them perfectly. Not only that, He will still use us and our scars to bring Him glory and as we submit to His use, we too will be exalted!
Do you have any scars?
Have you exposed them to God?
Copyright© Teshuva 2015