I'm This, He's That! - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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I’m This, He’s That!

I’m This, He’s That!

I'm this he's thatWhy is it that I used to think my husband was very funny and I enjoyed that he made me laugh, but now I sometimes think he just talks too much?
My husband always tells of how he enjoyed my toilet manners and cleanliness consciousness, the first time he saw me, I had just used the toilet, was washing my hands and he fell in love with that… now I see that he feels I always make an issue about tidying up.

He and I are the same in so many ways, let me tell you some of the many ways:

  • We both love to travel, though we do not get that travel time as often as we would have wanted.
  • We both love to read, we like to buy and read books on many topics of most times, similar interest.
  • We love to have fun, love fancy restaurants and hotels.
  • We are both very much in love with music.
  • We both have a passion for the less fortunate; one of the things we discovered when we met was that we both want to have a home for the destitute.
  • We have an unquestionable passion for God and His kingdom. And both of us desire strongly to please Him in all our ways.

And there are lots more…

Now let me tell the many ways we are different:

  • He never gets tired of talking, he is always too happy to keep quiet even when he says he is tired. I like to talk, but sometimes when I’m tired I just want to be quiet. He thinks I am not happy because I am not talking, and when I am that tired, I am not good with him in conversations, he doesn’t like that at all. I also feel he should understand me, be quiet and let us enjoy some silence. HE NEVER UNDERSTANDS IT WHEN I SAY THAT.
  • He likes the music really LOUD, I like it low most of the time. We disagree to agree on this…
  • He likes to be blunt and matter-of –fact with the truth, which I must admit is very important in some occasions. But I always choose to be soft and gentle, afraid I might lose the person if I’m not. I always tell him to take it easy and he tells me I’m way too sensitive.
  • I can worry a lot about tidy…tidy…tidy; he will let nothing bother him. He just wants to have fun, even when the house is IN A STATE. I am still trying to understand this; I have to do a lot of talking to myself in order to play at this time.
  • He thinks I eat too little, I think his appetite is too large. And just so you know, I am not under weight and he is not over weight.  Most times when we eat out he thinks I just play around with the food; he does not like this at all.

In marriage two become one, the differences in couples are supposed to blend them into a strong ONE. Click To Tweet

My area of weakness is supposed to be covered by my husband’s area of strength and vice-versa.
Let me explain:
I can get serious, in fact, too serious that I forget to just relax and have fun, making me cranky and irritable. My husband likes to have fun, he enjoys whatever he is doing and always attempts to have fun with it. So when I am too serious, he helps me relax, he could throw in a joke or say something to lighten me up, that way he provides me with strength in my area of weakness.

Same thing for him, I help him take some matters seriously, that he might have thought a joke, and he is always grateful for that.
The same thing applies in all other areas of our weaknesses and strengths.

Most times however, couples allow these differences to become reasons for quarrels and fights. It shouldn’t be so, we are meant to strengthen one another, we are meant to complement each other with our strength, not quarrel over our differences. 

God brought you and your spouse together because He knows that together you become a complete ONE, filling in the gap for one another.

9a Two are better than one; 10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.Ecclesiastes-4:9a, 10 

Choose to allow God help you be the strengthener in your spouse’s areas of weakness. Click To Tweet

Does this sound like you and your spouse?

Are you complementing each other?

Photo Credit: Live Science

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2015
Update from 2012

Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Lisa Vaughn
    Posted at 01:31h, 29 May

    This is a great reminder to embrace our differences. To allow my husbands laid back nature to balance out with my wound up nature. It’s much easier to want him to just think more like me, but instead, we need to be learning and growing stronger because of our differences!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 16:45h, 01 June

      Very true Lisa, same goes for me.
      Many thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  • Vernon
    Posted at 10:46h, 15 May

    Hi Ugochi,

    Yeah I agree with your husband that if you see a woman washing her hands after using the restroom then she just might be the one. 😆

    I can’t wait to share this post with my wife because we both know we complement each other in so many ways. I tell her all the time that she takes me to a new height that I couldn’t have accomplished without her being in my life.

    God said in Genesis 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.”

    When Nicole and I disagree I try to remember this scripture. That He put her into my life to help me grow spiritually and be more like Him.

    And a lot of times He don’t want me to say anything when she’s tired or when she wants to share how her day was at work. I’m the silly one like your husband but now it has rubbed off on her and she wants to joke all the time.

    Our kids look at us like we are two big kids; because we are.

    Thanks my friend!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 11:22h, 20 May

      Lol to washing of hands. I am also becoming like my husband too. I guess that is how “becoming one” works.
      Thanks very much for shaoring with us Vernon, do have a super blessed rest of week!

  • Gilbert M
    Posted at 12:18h, 14 May

    Thats great Ugochi, it has helped me with the wisdom to know how to handle strengths and weaknesses with my S.O when i get married. Thanks a lot.

  • Beth
    Posted at 15:51h, 13 May

    I’ve always loved that verse in Ecclesiates, Ugochi. And your words here are wise. I do think we are attracted to a mate who can complement the areas where we are weak or different. This makes us a powerful team, if we will trust God’s refinement through the friction of our differences. Love you and your words, my friend, and it sounds like I’d love your hubby too! You make a powerful pair!

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 11:25h, 20 May

      “Trusting God’s refinement through the friction of our differences” is key…
      Many thanks for coming and sharing with us Beth. I always appreciate your visits.
      I love you more, do have a super blessed rest of week!

  • Shannon @ Of The Hearth
    Posted at 15:51h, 13 May

    I love those verses from Ecclesiastes. I feel that my husband and I are very complementary of one another. We make a better, stronger team than we are as individuals.

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 11:26h, 20 May

      Amen! That is exactly God’s intent. We only have to trust and walk with Him.