13 Apr Dealing With Resentment In Marriage.
A man told of how his wife can no longer seem to look him in the eye or face. She seems to get irritated at every instance and reacts negatively at almost every thing he says or does.
He said it all began when his mother spent some time at their house and went over boards with her criticism. She caused his wife so much pain and since then he had become like an enemy to his wife. There has been this cold wall between them since that time and try as he could; she just couldn’t warm up to him anymore.
One woman shared with me about how her husband detests and hates her. She told me so many things that had gone on in their marriage and how she has had to swallow a lot of disregard, disrespect and neglect from her husband.
I asked her if this was how the relationship was from the beginning and she said no. I also asked if she remembered when things turned sour and what led to the sourness. She thought for a bit and told me it had to do with money, she had taken some money without letting her husband know and that seemed to had put him off, for several years now. He seems to find it difficult to let it go and things have never been the same since then, he resents her and treats her with a cold attitude.
I know that the spouses had been truly wronged but his or her reaction was completely theirs.
To forgive or not to forgive is a choice. Click To Tweet
We all have the choice to make, forgiveness is for the good of the forgiver. Un-forgiveness gives birth to something deeper and worse.
The Root Of Resentment.
The root of resentment is mostly bitterness, which in turn is rooted in un-forgiveness. The way to deal with, and conquer resentment is to always forgive a wrong immediately the wrong is done; whether or not an apology is tendered. This can be hard as the flesh always seeks revenge and pride always seeks to be fed, but it is a battle against the flesh we must fight and fight to win.
Sometimes waiting for an apology causes anger to take even deeper root. Click To Tweet
Resentment tears a marriage apart as there is no longer warmth in the relationship and the couple drifts apart. When a couple no longer care about what is going on with each other or what is going on in their marriage, a crumbling is inevitable. Like Third Day sang, “families never crumble in a day.” It starts from un-forgiveness and irreconcilability.
Besides the damages resentment can cause in marriages, it will also cost a person eternity in paradise, with our Heavenly Father.
Heaven is not worth losing, over holding on to what someone has done to us. This should motivate us to immediate forgiveness.
Let all bitterness…be put away from you… Ephesians 4:31
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:15
How would you stop this deadly feeling of resentment from creeping up on you?
Copyright© Teshuva 2015
Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday
BethPosted at 15:14h, 15 April
I think you’re so right, Ugochi. Bitterness and the desire to hang on to our anger in the moment is often the biggest single factor of our marriages crumbling. I work with wives and couples who are so entrenched in the bitterness that to come back takes a miracle of God. But if we would simply learn to have a forgiving spirit at every offense, our love would flourish and our marriages would never go sour! Love your point on message!
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 15:29h, 15 April
Many thanks Beth. Thanks for coming by and leaving your encouragement.
Have a super blessed day!
Mary GeisenPosted at 11:18h, 15 April
My favorite words here today are “heaven is not worth losing, over holding onto what someone has done to us”. Great insight about resentment and I do agree that it leads to bitterness, disdain and separation of hearts. Have a blessed day.
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 12:40h, 15 April
Thanks Mary. I appreciate your coming by and leaving a note.
Have a super blessed day too!
AngelPosted at 17:18h, 13 April
Having a spirit of mercy and forgiveness is the only way to combat resentment. Remembering how God forgives us helps us to be forgiving to our spouse.
Ugochi OritsejolomisanPosted at 14:06h, 14 April
Remembering how God forgave us… So true Angel, it will make all the difference.