How To Respect Your Spouse. - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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How To Respect Your Spouse.

02 Feb How To Respect Your Spouse.

Posted at 11:45h in Married Circle by
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How to respect your spouse.Everyone wants to be treated with respect, you want to be respected and your spouse wants you to treat him or her with respect too. Even your children, no matter how young want to be treated with respect.

RESPECT means to feel or show deferential regard for; esteem or admire.
The Free Dictionary

It is innate in every person to desire to be treated like someone. Click To Tweet

Someone who is loved, valuable and worth something.

Here are some practical ways I believe you can show respect to your spouse.

1. It begins from the heart.
If you love your spouse, you must train yourself by the help of The Holy Spirit and His word. You must work hard at holding your spouse in high regard in your heart, in your thoughts.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

If you can settle this then your words and actions will mostly follow suit.

2. Talk nicely to your spouse.
This means talking with the right tone and body language.

A SOFT answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 AMP

A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11 AMP

It is however difficult if you are angry, embittered or irritated about anything. Truth is, it is hard to speak nicely to your spouse in anger, bitterness or irritation. So the best thing to do is make sure not to allow these negative emotions settle in you.

Also make sure to speak to your spouse nicely whether in public or private. It is not true respect if you only talk nicely to your spouse in public but with disrespect in private. It will not make him or her feel respected by you.

3. Don’t Belittle Your Spouse.
One way you show your respect for your spouse is the way you speak about him or her in their absence. Whether to children, family, friends or colleagues.

He who belittles and despises his neighbour lacks sense, but a man of understanding keeps silent.
Proverbs 11:12 AMP

You must ensure that you speak about your spouse in a manner that would cause others to hold him or her in high regard.
Refuse to speak to others about his or her faults, some shallow minds might not be able to handle it.

4. Stand up for your spouse.
Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins forgives and disregards the offenses of others.
1 Peter 4:8 AMP

Even when your spouse makes a public mistake, do not join others in beating him or her up. I am not saying you should make excuses for or defend wrong doing, but what would battering him or her with and in the presence of others do to help?

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25 NIV

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. Ephesians 5:22 (AMP)

You can apologize for him, when the need and occasion calls for it and then discuss it in details with him or her later, in private. That would make more impact than public battering.

5. Your in-laws.
Your respect for your spouse should spill over to his or her family members.

Let everything you do be done in love (true love to God and man as inspired by God’s love for us). 1 Corinthians 16:14 AMP

You cannot claim you have respect for your spouse while you disrespect your in-laws, it does not add up.

Finally.
Every person wants to be respected and treated respectfully. You and I do, so why should we not give respect to our spouses, since like them, we also desire to be respected?

Please note.
It is important that you respect your spouse no matter what. When you do, irrespective of the way you are treated, you sow a seed and will reap the harvest.

Do not wait for respect before you give it. Click To Tweet

I know I may have missed some other ways to show respect for your spouse.

Please if you think of, or know of any that might be added, leave it in the comment box so that other readers and I might learn.

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2015

Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
teshuva7@gmail.com

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

12 Comments
  • Maggielola
    Posted at 19:15h, 04 February

    I know I’m late but there is one thing I’d like to add (the others have spoken beautifully).

    Be aware of the pros and cons of every medium of communication. What you’d normally say, verbally, as your voicing your thoughts might come off as a rant when you type ’em out. How you say them matters as well.

    The only way you’re covered is if the husband and wife are fully aware of each other’s antics and are well verses in sarcasm!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 14:11h, 05 February

      Very true, knowing each other communication styles will go a long way to help couples respect each other.
      Thanks for coming by and sharing with us here.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Beth
    Posted at 16:15h, 04 February

    Respect is such an important yet challenging part of a marriage, especially, as you’ve pointed out, Ugochi, we are angry. I like that you’ve urged us to deal the root of our anger with God’s word and His softening of our hearts. That’s exactly where we need to put our efforts. I also like that you’ve included the in-laws. We show great support and respect of our spouses when we are deferential to the ones who raised our mates! Hugs to you, sweet friend!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 17:12h, 04 February

      I like the way you put it, the word of God is THE heart softner Beth.
      Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Vernon
    Posted at 05:35h, 03 February

    Hi Ugochi,

    You covered this subject good. That standing up for my wife was something I had to learn because the times she wanted me to stand up for her are times I didn’t think I need to. What I learned was she just wanted to feel safe and secure when she fell short.

    In 1 Peter 3:7 it reads “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner…” Our job as husbands is to always consider how they are feeling.

    Great post!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:32h, 03 February

      Every woman wants to feel safe in her husband,no matter how together she may appear, she misses it when that secure feeling isn’t there. And some how I think men need to know their wives have their backs too, or don’t they?
      Thanks for coming by and sharing here Vernon.

  • Olando
    Posted at 01:31h, 03 February

    Thanks eversomuch mom

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
    Posted at 06:01h, 03 February

    Great post! And I liked that you specifically included in-laws.

    Two suggestions I would make, to add to this –

    1) Show respect for your spouse’s past. If there’s something there he or she is ashamed of, be respectful by never, ever bringing it up. For a ‘normal’ past, be respectful of achievements that may have been made before you ever met; let your spouse have a life of which to be proud, even the parts that didn’t include you.

    2) Strive never to use bad language in your spouse’s presence; and everywhere else, as well. This is usually more of a problem for men, for whom going into Tourette’s Mode is seen as somehow ‘manly’. Guys, it’s not. Bad language is unimaginative, repetitive, and it makes others uncomfortable. Would you toss garbage on the living-room floor, just straightened up and cleaned by your mate? then don’t pollute the air, either.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:29h, 03 February

      These two are really great ways to show respect for your spouse. Thanks for putting this up here Andrew, I am show it will help some other readers like it has inspired me.

  • Frances Okoro
    Posted at 15:05h, 02 February

    I love learning, I love reading…I know this will come in handy someday soon.
    God bless you ma’am

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:35h, 03 February

      Someday soon Frances, and please keep me posted!