First Impressions. - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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First Impressions.

First Impressions.

first impressionsImagine you walk into an office, and the following conversation takes place:

You: Hello, good afternoon.

Him/her: (Silence) Just looks up from desk

You: Please I’d like to see Mr Abel.

Him/her: He is not on seat. (Not looking up)

You: Any idea where he went, do you think he’ll be long,?

Him/her: (Raised an angry voice) I don’t know! Am I supposed to tell everyone who walks in here where the boss went and when he is coming in? If you do not know how to contact him, I cannot help you. If you cannot leave a message then go and come back, as you can see, I am busy!

Have you ever had an encounter like this? You meet someone for the first time ever and they just put you off. You know, those people who don’t seem to realize that first impressions matter? They just behave any how they like to everybody they meet. I agree to the fact that first impressions matter…a lot. But there is another side to this I would want to talk about here.

Another Perspective.
Have you ever wondered why some people get upset about everything almost every time? Have you ever wondered why some people cannot even accept it when you try to show them some love? Have you ever found it difficult to understand why you ask a simple question and he/ she just flies off the handle?

I have wondered, until I gave someone I met a closer look and a second chance.  In order to maybe get a second impression of her before drawing any negative conclusion.  She was going through a season in her life that put her under a lot of pressures; unfortunately she didn’t know the right way to deal with it.

I don’t draw conclusions anymore, I just work to love. Click To Tweet

First Impressions Cannot Be Relied On.
I discovered that most times people like these are going through things too hard for them to bear at that time.  It could be a loss, financial hardship, relationship issues or something many other issues. People are going through so much, so many are in pain and are hurting terribly. Many are without a clue as to how to deal with and overcome their issues.

I agree that first impressions matter, and that one might not get a chance to make a second impression. But we must learn never to judge anyone, and always give people the benefit of a doubt, get to know them, try to see if we can help them and don’t make up our minds about them?

I know that sometimes when I am going through stuff I am not a very nice person. Click To Tweet

So why should I write people off on first impressions, without even knowing them for who they really are? I also know that what is on the inside is what a person displays outside but when under pressure sometimes people misbehave, maybe they are still growing,  maybe they just slipped, or maybe, just maybe they need someone to love them out of the misery they are in at that moment.

Is it possible for us to give people several chances as we try to know them better? Is it possible for us not to judge people on the first impression they create before us?

If you think back you may remember that you have once or twice been mean to someone, not because you are a mean person but because you were facing some difficult times, you may remember a time that you didn’t have it all together. If that is so, then please don’t always judge people on first impressions, give them opportunities to give you impressions of who they really are or who they could be.

Remember that Jesus loves you even when you misbehave, He gives you chances upon chance… He expects you to do same.

For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. John 13:15 (ESV)

… He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. John-8:7

Hatred stirs up trouble; love overlooks the wrongs that others do. Proverbs 10:12 (CEV)

Have you ever been judged on first impressions?

Have you ever judged someone based on your first encounter with them?

Please share your own encounters and experience with us.

Copyright© Teshuva 2015
Update from 2012

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • vicky
    Posted at 22:06h, 03 February

    Great post but it requires extra grace. some people are just like that though, no problems or anything, just a wrong foundation. but God will help us o

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 22:51h, 03 February

      I know, God’s grace is what we need, and it is available. A love pressure can turn those same people around. Not easy but very possible.
      Thanks very much for coming by Vicky, do have a super blessed day!

  • Frances Okoro
    Posted at 18:55h, 01 February

    I recently met someone who was rude to me and refused to give me correcting fluid. I wanted to buy it and give to her afterwards cuz it seemed silly to me.
    Afterwards, I admit that that created an impression of her in my mind, one that I tried to shake off anytime I met her.
    But this post makes me see that I don’t know it all. She may have been rude cuz of something, my duty is still to show love.
    God help me and grant me grace…

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:41h, 03 February

      Lol! I know that feeling, wanting to make her know that correcting fluid is not hard to get.
      But love conquers all Frances, and I know you will do the right thing!

  • Deborah Okeke
    Posted at 18:46h, 31 January

    hello pst
    happy new year; although the month has gone down lol.very intressting writing.
    our first impression we display; is very important as to how orther people view us.And vice versa.but we shouldn’t conclud on a person base only on that; like it is said in french language ” l’apparence est souvent trompeuse”.We should try to study the person as to know the person better.i didn’t mean we should risk our life.Anyway i think we should be lead by the spirit and not just on impression. love u GOD blees .

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:39h, 03 February

      I agree Debs, we should be lead by The Holy Spirit in our dealings with people, and He is the Spirit of love…
      Happy New Year Deborah!

  • jay
    Posted at 19:35h, 31 January

    Hey ugochi ,miss u. I don’t know if I’ve wished u a happy new year, if i haven’t then happy new year. Nice post by the way , but grace is needed to carry out this one. God will surely help us.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:40h, 03 February

      We need grace Jay, and God’s grace is available for us all.
      Happy New Year and New month!

  • Angel Thompson
    Posted at 16:20h, 30 January

    There’s an old saying that people show you who they are the first time. In my experience, this has proven to be true in most situations. But there is one situation that I can think of that disproved this saying: My husband and I were having lunch with one of his new friends (and his wife). It was the first time I had met the couple. The wife didn’t seem friendly at all. She seemed like she didn’t want to be there. To make a long story short, for many months, I thought she was a mean person. But when I gave birth and faced some difficulty, she was there for me – visiting me at the hospital and calling to check on me. To this day, I don’t know why she acted that way during our initial meeting. Maybe she and her husband had been arguing on the way to the restaurant. Who knows? I guess it’s none of my business. But you are right, Ugochi, we have to give people a chance. It’s the Christ thing to do!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:38h, 03 February

      People are going through a lot, and not everyone knows how to handle their lives and situations hence the difference in reactions… Giving people chances is indeed the Christ thing to do Angel!

  • Amune Jeffrey
    Posted at 13:03h, 30 January

    How long do we put on with the wrong attitude, after giving a benefit of doubt to people?

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:19h, 30 January

      I know it is hard, in fact it can be very hard sometimes. But God wants us to love them all the same. You may not have to have them in your “inner circle” but you must ensure you love them and “show” them that you love them.