08 Dec Is The Matrimonial Bed Sacred?
I met a young lady recently who shared a couple of concerns she had for her marriage. As she started talking about her matrimonial bed, she began tearing up and I must confess, I choked a bit on that bitter lump that always comes up to my throat at instances like this.
I had to signal to her to sit down because I thought if she continued talking she might break down in tears. Now that I write, I think I was a bit more concerned that I would embarrass myself and join her in crying…(I cry too easily and it can be quite embarrassing).
She said that her husband allows his family members to share their matrimonial bed and she wasn’t very comfortable with this. She asked if it was okay and how she could make her husband see reasons with her and learn to treat their bed differently.
Now this is not the first or second time I have been confronted with this issue. So many years ago, a husband and his wife would vacate their bedroom for his mother, they would move to the guest room or children’s room, I can’t quite remember.
He didn’t think his wife had qualms with it and he didn’t seem to think their was anything wrong with the move, until he was made to see some truths. After he saw, he made the necessary changes and their was peace in the marriage.
I will let you share your thoughts on this issue, but first let me tell you what I think about this matter.
Marriage is a covenant.
…Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
God sees marriage as a covenant that He is a witness to.
So I consider the matrimonial bed sacred. That is where marriage covenants are constantly renewed as couples enjoy sexual pleasures with each other. Yes, sex is a covenant bond between couples, and since most times the matrimonial bed is where it happens, I consider the bed very sacred.
If you have no other room to accommodate family members or any other person when they visit, then make alternative arrangements for them. They could visit you but at night you could find some place else for them to sleep in.
I do not find it funny to think that you would have someone else sleep with you and your spouse in the same room, how much more the same bed.
I believe the love and respect we have for our marriages should reflect in the way we handle everything that concerns it.
I think giving up your matrimonial bed to anyone else is no acceptable practice, it is sacred and should be treated as such.
If you find that your spouse is ignorant of the sacredness of your bed, you should take the time to show them the reason behind its sacredness, and trust God for a change.
So what do you think?
Is the matrimonial bed too sacred to share or not?
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2014
Photo Credit: Wikipedia
MatPatPosted at 01:23h, 08 February
Am so grateful to see this and i have also learn that u can not please everybody around you and displease yourself.
Joe PotePosted at 17:52h, 11 December
Ugochi, I like (and agree with) your thoughts on the sacredness of the matrimonial bed. I do think it’s important, though, not to be overly legalistic about these sorts of things. While the matriminial bed is sacred, how that is respected may vary depending on cultures and individual personalities.
The sacred matrimonial bed is the bed in which a married couple is sleeping on a given night. For some, it is important that this be the same bed all the time. For others, location is less important.
There is nothing inherently sinful about giving up a bed to accomodate a guest. However, before volunteering such a thing, both spouses should discuss it and make sure both are comfortable with that. Because there’s a good chance that one or the other may be ucomfortable with it.
My thoughts…for what they may be worth…
Have a blessed Christmas season, my friend!
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 15:33h, 18 December
True Joe, I do not like legalistic too. Maybe it is the “who” and why we let in that matters.
Amune JeffreyPosted at 06:43h, 10 December
Its amazes me to think that some persons never took their time to understand the meaning of marriage before venturing into it, marriage is not for those who think they have money to organize a wedding neither is marriage for those who think they are old enough to have a woman called wife at home because of societal demand. Marriage is for those who have gone through the school of spiritual maturity training. Your knowlege of a thing determines the value you place on it, when a purpose of a thing is not known abuse is inevitable. Marriage bed can’t even be shared with angels hence sharing it with family members is an abuse of the union. God help us.
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 15:27h, 18 December
I agree with you Jeffrey, we must strive to learn marriage or we will not know how to handle it.
Deborah OkekePosted at 19:26h, 09 December
i totally agree with you.The marimonial bed must be sacred and well respected by both partners . There’s no way a third party should be allowed on the bed.b’cos matrimony includes 2 partners and not 3.Married couples have to take this article so very important, as to have a long lasting marriage.thank you pst and GOD BLESS you. 🙂
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 15:28h, 18 December
Bless you Deborah. Respect for marriage and the matrimonial bed must be in place for the home to succeed.
Adejoke FradenPosted at 14:30h, 09 December
Very terrible situation. All they had was sold to pay hospital bills. No family member even helped with burial expenses. Seven dependent kids to look after. Wisdom is justified of her children or fruit. We must place value on our marriage. Better not to start than to have to stop. Shalom!
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 15:15h, 09 December
Oh no! I agree, we MUST place value on our marriages. Thanks for sharing this here, I know it will bless someone, I have learnt myself.
Adejoke FradenPosted at 13:13h, 09 December
I pitch my tent with your submission 100%. A couple’s room to me is sacred, let alone the bed. No matter the level of closeness, nothing should bring a third party into that room or bed. Some cultures believe it’s a way for the wife to show her in-laws respect, having them sleep in the supposedly most comfortable place. I beg to differ. Many years ago, while on NYSC in Bauchi, I used to go spend weekends with my uncle in Jos. His wife would never let me clean their room,telling me sweetly that it was her responsibility. But she or my uncle could have me fetch them something from there. I learnt that that was her own sanctuary and she felt responsible to keep it. A family friend left her room for her brother-in-law to share their bed with her sick husband. It was after his death that fingers began pointing at him for killing his own brother. This act is at best an invasion that is better prevented by the couple. If there is no space, let there be no visitors. That bed is sacred!
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 13:17h, 09 December
My sister, so many things can go wrong when we refuse to hallow our bedrooms and matrimonial beds. It is sad to hear how terribly bad this one you mentioned ended.