When You Are Crucified In Marriage. - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-4696,single-format-standard,bridge-core-3.0.6,qode-page-transition-enabled,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode_grid_1300,qode-child-theme-ver-1.0.0,qode-theme-ver-29.3,qode-theme-bridge,disabled_footer_bottom,qode_header_in_grid,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-6.10.0,vc_responsive

When You Are Crucified In Marriage.

When You Are Crucified In Marriage.

Have you ever been so hurt and pained by someone’s actions or inactions that you want to let the person feel a piece or more of the pain you feel?

Well, I have to shamefully admit that I have…more than once… towards my husband. And I know that you have too must have… sometime… towards your spouse or someone else.

People who do not know how to deal with their hurts always seek to hurt others. Click To Tweet

When a person allows the hurt or pain control their actions, its results are always bad. Especially in a marriage; when husbands and wives allow themselves to be ruled by their hurt and pain, they welcome all the suggestions the enemy brings to mind and hardly thinking it through, blinded by revenge they spur into action. Instead of thinking for the best way to proffer solutions that will make for peace, they scratch painfully over an already sore wound.

So what is the solution?
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit. We must not be proud or make trouble with each other or be jealous of each other. Galatians 5:24-26 NCV

As children of God we should have died to sin and the selfish desire to hurt those who hurt us, we ought to have died to evil and evil things that the flesh craves to do.
It always take two to tango, if both husband and wife will allow The Holy Spirit to lead them instead of subjecting themselves to the destructive rule of their flesh, quarrels will not arise, the pride that seeks the false gratification of revenge will not be found in us. A couple dead to self and lead by The Spirit will not do anything that makes for trouble with their spouse or in their home. They would rather pursue only those things that make for peace.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:19 NIV Click To Tweet

When we die to the flesh and continually follow The Holy Spirit’s lead, we will always exhibit the fruits He bears in us. Love will override every fleshy nature and desire, bringing us to a place where we walk away from every demon of trouble seeking, making or fanning.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23 NLT

Love becomes the ruling force in our hearts and lives. The motivation, influence, restraint and compulsion, behind all our thoughts, words and actions.

“Some one has put it in this way: that all the other eight can be put in the word love. Joy is love exulting; peace is love in repose; long suffering is love on trial; gentleness is love in society; goodness is love in action; faith is love on the battlefield; meekness is love at school; and temperance is love in training”
Excerpt From: Dwight Lyman Moody. “Secret Power.”

This statement has put in words for me what I have always believed: if you die to the flesh, follow The Holy Spirit, walk in love, you cannot help but produce all other fruits of The Spirit, you cannot go wrong.

Breaking it down…
This means as far as your spouse and marriage is concerned:
-You keep your joy no matter what.
-You are at peace even when you feel troubled by your spouse.
-You are even in temper, patient, when everything around you cries out to explode in anger or irritation.
-You remain good, gentle and kind to your spouse even when he/she has hurt you.
-You keep your faith in shape and remain faithful to your spouse, your vows and God.
-You refuse pride from feeding you, you rather humble yourself to honour your spouse even when you think or feel he/she does not deserve it.
-You do everything to avoid provoking your spouse to anger or pain.

We all must submit to crucifixion of the flesh on a regular basis:

1. Reading and studying God’s word to the end that we observe to obey it.
2. Submitting ourselves to God in prayer and fellowship.
3. Joining ourselves always to The Holy Spirit and leaning on Him for guidance and prompting.

When we constantly do these, we die to sin and self and will not seek to satisfy the evil desires of our flesh. We die to complaints, quarrels, fights and grumblings in marriage.

I assure you by the pride which I have in you in your fellowship and union with Christ Jesus our Lord, that I die daily I face death every day and die to self. 1 Corinthians 15:31 AMP

How is your crucifixion working out?
Is self ruling your marital life?
Are you dead or dying already?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2014
Photo Credit: 1hdwallpapers
Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday 

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Conner
    Posted at 17:00h, 02 March

    This is beautiful as alot of marriage is based on lust being a gift to it.. it is difficult because where are people aligning themselves with belonging to Christ?

    I know so many benefits of the Spirit & Spiritual love is a height.. especially the joy it can bring when mortifying/crucifying the flesh.. i have no lustful tendancies when i follow my Spirit.. i fall inlove with God.. i basically just fall inlove.. pure love..

    It would be nice to have a partner to share what i experience when doing these things i do.. but it is hard to find someone into the exact same things with the exact same knowledge.. we are all in different places at different times^^

    But yeah a Spiritual marriage sounds beautiful.. i do always long for another especially when i am experiencing such serene heights and moments.. but there seems to be a calling in scripture at ‘Matthew 19:12’ “choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven,”

    It is a romantic calling^^

    Belonging to Christ.. for the sake of the kingdom of Heaven? To live like a eunuch is basically a crucified flesh..

    I beiss you all,

    • Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
      Posted at 17:13h, 16 March

      When you commit to live this way for Christ and keep your body holy unto Him, He rewards without reservation.
      God bless you!

  • Theresa Doghor
    Posted at 10:38h, 10 October

    I am doing my best to stay dead to the flesh.

    God helping me.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 13:14h, 10 October

      Me too, and it is reassuring to know that we have the help of The Holy Spirit.
      God always works with those who make the necessary efforts.
      Thanks a lot for coming by, have a super blessed day!

  • Beth
    Posted at 18:49h, 08 October

    You are so talented at breaking the harder concepts down into manageable and understandable steps, Ugochi. This is the “daily dying” we all must do who follow Christ! Such a powerful post today, my friend. And I love that quote from Moody (He was my brother’s namesake). Thanks for your comforting words and lifted prayers for my internet this morning, girlfriend! Your kindness means so much to me!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 09:22h, 09 October

      I know you know it is all God Beth, blessing His children with all kinds of gifts. Thank you so much, you have been a blessing and encouragement to me. And please say hello to Moody for me, have super blessed day!

  • Deborah Okeke
    Posted at 16:03h, 07 October

    hello pst;
    very powerful article, to treasure in my spirit;the word of GOD healeth all things,including all our pains in every area of our life you know.this particuler article is very good to put in practice immediatly by married couple,and to be treasured in mind by the singles ones.thanks a lot pst GOD bless you

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 11:17h, 08 October

      God bless you Deborah. Do have a super blessed day!

  • jay
    Posted at 15:34h, 07 October

    You must be a good wife. Feel happy about u. Keep up dear.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 11:19h, 08 October

      Good? I am still in God’s hand as clay in the hands of the potter, and I plan to remain there in order to become and live out the life He means for me. I am work-in-progress in the hands of The perfect God!
      God bless you bro! Have a super blessed day!

  • Debby Dyk
    Posted at 11:44h, 07 October

    God help us all… amen

  • Angel
    Posted at 05:28h, 07 October

    It is true: hurt people HURT people. The only way to end this cycle of pain is to crucify the flesh, turning hurts into opportunities to love. Thanks so much for gathering scriptures to help in this area. Every marriage can benefit from this reminder.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:33h, 07 October

      I like that, “turning hurts to opportunity to love”. That means giving love for every hurt…
      Thanks for this wisdom Angel.

  • mscookie
    Posted at 06:22h, 07 October

    very well written

  • Myne Whitman
    Posted at 15:59h, 06 October

    Good post. But let’s be careful we do not excuse abuse in marriage.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:32h, 07 October

      There is no excuse for abuse at all! However, if every man and woman decides to follow God’s Spirit and His word, die to self and pride, we would not have to deal with that.