Have you ever been so hurt and pained by someone’s actions or inactions that you want to let the person feel a piece or more of the pain you feel?
Well, I have to shamefully admit that I have…more than once… towards my husband. And I know that you have too must have… sometime… towards your spouse or someone else.
When a person allows the hurt or pain control their actions, its results are always bad. Especially in a marriage; when husbands and wives allow themselves to be ruled by their hurt and pain, they welcome all the suggestions the enemy brings to mind and hardly thinking it through, blinded by revenge they spur into action. Instead of thinking for the best way to proffer solutions that will make for peace, they scratch painfully over an already sore wound.
So what is the solution?
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit. We must not be proud or make trouble with each other or be jealous of each other. Galatians 5:24-26 NCV
As children of God we should have died to sin and the selfish desire to hurt those who hurt us, we ought to have died to evil and evil things that the flesh craves to do.
It always take two to tango, if both husband and wife will allow The Holy Spirit to lead them instead of subjecting themselves to the destructive rule of their flesh, quarrels will not arise, the pride that seeks the false gratification of revenge will not be found in us. A couple dead to self and lead by The Spirit will not do anything that makes for trouble with their spouse or in their home. They would rather pursue only those things that make for peace.
When we die to the flesh and continually follow The Holy Spirit’s lead, we will always exhibit the fruits He bears in us. Love will override every fleshy nature and desire, bringing us to a place where we walk away from every demon of trouble seeking, making or fanning.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23 NLT
Love becomes the ruling force in our hearts and lives. The motivation, influence, restraint and compulsion, behind all our thoughts, words and actions.
“Some one has put it in this way: that all the other eight can be put in the word love. Joy is love exulting; peace is love in repose; long suffering is love on trial; gentleness is love in society; goodness is love in action; faith is love on the battlefield; meekness is love at school; and temperance is love in training”
Excerpt From: Dwight Lyman Moody. “Secret Power.”
This statement has put in words for me what I have always believed: if you die to the flesh, follow The Holy Spirit, walk in love, you cannot help but produce all other fruits of The Spirit, you cannot go wrong.
Breaking it down…
This means as far as your spouse and marriage is concerned:
-You keep your joy no matter what.
-You are at peace even when you feel troubled by your spouse.
-You are even in temper, patient, when everything around you cries out to explode in anger or irritation.
-You remain good, gentle and kind to your spouse even when he/she has hurt you.
-You keep your faith in shape and remain faithful to your spouse, your vows and God.
-You refuse pride from feeding you, you rather humble yourself to honour your spouse even when you think or feel he/she does not deserve it.
-You do everything to avoid provoking your spouse to anger or pain.
We all must submit to crucifixion of the flesh on a regular basis:
1. Reading and studying God’s word to the end that we observe to obey it.
2. Submitting ourselves to God in prayer and fellowship.
3. Joining ourselves always to The Holy Spirit and leaning on Him for guidance and prompting.
When we constantly do these, we die to sin and self and will not seek to satisfy the evil desires of our flesh. We die to complaints, quarrels, fights and grumblings in marriage.
I assure you by the pride which I have in you in your fellowship and union with Christ Jesus our Lord, that I die daily I face death every day and die to self. 1 Corinthians 15:31 AMP
How is your crucifixion working out?
Is self ruling your marital life?
Are you dead or dying already?
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2014
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