The Temptation To Payback - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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The Temptation To Payback

The Temptation To Payback

paybackIt was my final year in the Polytechnic. School had just resumed and I was able to secure accommodation in a one of the hostels. Hostel B was one, I got a single bed to my delight, did not particularly enjoy the bunk beds. Two other Ladies had already moved in, I would want to call them Opal and Felia, they gave me a very warm welcome when I moved in.

After some days we welcomed a fresher into the room, let me call her Glad, she was a young and very playful girl who always hopped about in the room and wanted to make friends with all of us. She was very easy to love and we all loved her, or so I thought.

Sometime later Glad came complaining.
She to me about Opal and Felia’s attitude towards her, they wouldn’t let her sit on their bed because most times when she did, she did not make the bed, and they would not let her touch anything that belonged to them too.
I understood their anger, I have had my share of her childish forgetfulness or perhaps carelessness, but my reaction was different. I would tell her nicely but firmly to make my bed whenever she messed it up, tell her nicely but firmly to put any of my stuff she had used back to where she got it. Sometimes, I just let it go and fixed my stuff.

It Turned On Me.
Next thing I knew these Ladies (Opal and Felia) turned cold towards me. They would make jest of me in a way as to let me know, especially when it is just they and I in the room. They would call me names like skinny bones and other horrible ones.  I never said a word back to them.

One reason was that it would cause them to mock my faith.
Another was that I was truly small and skinny and couldn’t afford to be beaten up by this “bigger” girls.
I hope you didn’t laugh right there!

Anyway, Glad hinted me that they were angry with me because they thought I was the reason she would no longer play with them. I was surprised because I had no clue as to why they would think that.  I wished I could tell them that they were the ones who shooed her away in their anger.
She was not afraid to sit or sleep on my bed, read from my collection of books, or use my Pressing Iron. In fact, over time I didn’t have to remind her to put things back in place. I believe my reaction to her playfulness over everything was a bit more welcoming.

I’m not singing my praise at all; I’ve missed it many times, this was just one of those times I didn’t goof! Click To Tweet

What’s The Whole Point To This Story?
Well, it is, that I avoided any form of confrontation; I didn’t talk back to or pick up a quarrel with Opal and/or Felia. We graduated (they were both in their final years too) and we were posted to different states to serve our Nation. I was posted to one of the States in the west and I got there early enough to secure a comfortable bed space. Then it happened!

A day or two later as I stood in front of the hostel door I saw Felia walking towards me with a smile on her face. 

“What, she can’t be smiling at me!” I thought as my heart took a bit of a race. I almost looked back to see if she was smiling at someone else when she said a word of greeting to me. She told me how she came in late so she didn’t get a bed space and was looking for a place to pass the night before she would be moved to another camp. She spoke like NOTHING HAD EVER HAPPENED!

“You Felia, have you forgotten all you did to me in school, the humiliations, the threats, the mockeries, the insults?!” My mind was crying out but my mouth wouldn’t say the words. I wanted to snap at her but something within knew better.

I Gave In To The Higher Wisdom
I offered my bed and slept with a new friend I had made(don’t ask me why I didn’t sleep with her!), my bucket, even my soap, and boy, did I feel like a weight was lifted off me!

Felia was grateful, though she didn’t breathe a word about the past; she just gave me that look, the kind that said, “I am sorry” and “I appreciate you”.

I was happy; I thanked God that I was able to follow Felia and Opal with peace even though they wanted war. Click To Tweet
And now I am grateful that I didn’t choose to pay back evil with evil. Though I don’t see her as an enemy, these words come to mind…

If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee. Proverbs 25:21-22

And I often teach my children to…

See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
1 Thessalonians 5:15 

Copyright: Teshuva 2014 (Update from 2012)

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Frances Okoro
    Posted at 21:41h, 14 September

    Matt 5 talks about this too, “for if you love those who only love you, what good is that?..”

    God help us as we subject what the human mind may want to do to what He wants us to do and be.Just checked ur full site…NICE

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 11:49h, 15 September

      Amen! Thanks Frances, have a super blessed day!

  • Ucheman
    Posted at 18:30h, 13 September

    Ma, that was a good spirit,and God will always bless you for it. Well, I once used to feel bad about someone hurting me in the past, until one day I heard my Bishop say “that if you remember what someone did to u in the past and it still hurts u,it then means u have not forgiven that fellow” after then my emotions changed and I never felt hurt about my past or tried to pay back

  • mscookie
    Posted at 18:58h, 12 September

    love this post, remind me of a time when a friend wanted me to seek revenge and i decided to let things slide. vengeance is the lord.