Cultivate Your Love - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Cultivate Your Love

Ripe grains

02 Jun Cultivate Your Love

Posted at 21:16h in Married Circle by
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Where there is no love there is no life. Yes, you can be alive without love but without love you cannot really live. A life without love is frustrated and sad. When there is no love in the heart, the heart is dead, not physically, but it is dead any way.
Love is what brings the rhythm to the heart beat, love it is that brings the joy to the heart and the whistle to the lips. Love makes a life strive and thrive, love births resolves, purpose and persistence. LOVE IS LIFE!

And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men , even as we do toward you. 1 Thessalonians 3:12

Grow your love, if your love is not growing it is dying.

Lack of love in a marriage makes it mundane, boring and lusterless. It becomes a routine rather than a joy living together as husband and wife. The house becomes a mere shelter rather than a living home.
Any couple that allows their love for each other wane or die is knowingly or unknowingly sending their marriage to a death sentence. If you are not deliberately, consciously working on sustaining growth in love for your spouse, you will soon lose affection for him or her.
What ever is not cultivated will not grow. We must learn to cultivate our love for our spouses, we must learn to fan the flame of love in our hearts by disallowing negative thoughts and emotions from quenching it.

Before I share some tips that I know would grow love in our hearts for our husbands or wives, let me share some love killers that we must beware of:

-Anger (Implosive or explosive).
-Unforgiveness.
-Bitterness.
-Unresolved conflicts.
-Dwelling on our spouses’ faults.
-Lack of communication.
-Taking each other for granted.
-No show of affection.
-No telling of affection

Okay, now you think the opposite of those would mean cultivating love? Definitely!

And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. Philippians 1:9-10

-Be sensitive to each other.
-Declare your love for each other and show it too.
-Be very affectionate. Even if you don’t know how, ask your spouse what this means to him or her and then practice it. Soon enough you would become a pro affectionate.
-Don’t hold back yourself from your spouse.
-Love your husband or wife how he or she wants to be loved. Ask…
-Major on your spouse’s pluses rather than minuses.
-Create quality and quantity together times.
-Do not ignore any hurt, deal with it, do not sleep over it.
-Be open to each other.
-Let God’s word be your guide.

Marriage, like I often say is not for lazy people. Any marriage that succeeded was worked on with resolve and persistence. Every marriage can succeed if couples allow the life that love brings to flow in their marriage.

Do not give up or get lazy; work at it. God says you shall eat the fruit of your labour. Labour in your marriage.

I know there are many ways you can grow your love for your spouse. Which one would you like to add to the list?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2014
Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
teshuva7@gmail.com

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

8 Comments
  • Beth
    Posted at 19:08h, 04 June

    I remember years ago a celebrity saying that “if you have to work at love, then love isn’t worth the work.” I thought, how sad! In my view, anything of any value in life is often labored over and fought for consistently and deeply. Thanks so much for you wisdom, Ugochi! You are a true beacon to married couples and I pray your ministry is blessed by your generous heart!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 09:08h, 05 June

      “…anything of any value in life is often labored over and fought for consistently and deeply.” I love this Beth. Thanks for always adding to me in your comments.
      Amen! God is faithful. Thanks for your prayer, have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Angel Thompson
    Posted at 20:05h, 03 June

    Great list of ways to cultivate love. Another way to grow love is to show interest in your spouse’s goals & desires and be supportive. It is easy to love someone who you feel “has your back.” Many marriages fail because outsiders show more interest and give more praise than the person’s spouse. Sometimes its good to hear “great job,” “you can do it,” or “I’m here for you”. Little phrases like these can make anyone feel loved.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 21:16h, 03 June

      Very true Angel. When we show support and encouragement to our spouses it gives room for growth in love.

  • Seana Turner
    Posted at 14:44h, 03 June

    I love how you suggest we ask our spouse how he/she wants to be loved. That is so basic, but we frequently overlook it! I guess I would add to be accepting of differences. We are unique individuals after all… negotiate, negotiate, negotiate where you disagree.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 18:05h, 03 June

      I agree Seana, our differences can actually become our strengths if we understand that we are meant to compliment each other.

  • Meredith
    Posted at 05:45h, 03 June

    Awesome advice!! We are implementing a lot of these in our marriage right now…adding date nights has been very meaningful, too. XOXO

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 18:04h, 03 June

      Yes! Date nights are one sure way to ensure quantity and quality times together. Great add.