Lies And Marriage. - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Lies And Marriage.

Lies And Marriage.

lies and marriageMy interaction with some single friends and acquaintances has revealed that there are lots of wrong notion that some people have about marriage. People desire to get married for the wrong reasons, or let me be fair to say mostly wrong reasons. Let me list some of these thoughts or expectations, or notions.
Lie 1

Marriage is an escape from my parents or guardians to my independence.
If you get married to find freedom, then you might be disappointed, because real marriage does not allow for independence from one another. There is responsibility and accountability in marriage, so if you are one who does not like to be accountable or responsible, marriage is not an escape, or you will encounter serious problems too.

Lie 2
Marriage will meet all my emotional needs.
Trust me, this is so not true, I speak by personal and shared experiences. If you do not handle your emotional needs now and know how to deal with them you will be disappointed because the other person has his/hers to deal with and does not need you to depend completely on him/her for emotional satisfaction.
Lie 3

I want to get married so that I will not have to be sleeping around anymore. 
I am afraid this too cannot be taken as true. If you do not deal with sexual indiscipline now, it will still be an issue even after marriage. What happens when your spouse is not there, maybe out of town and you suddenly feel the need? If you are still undisciplined, then you would probably find “another way” to satisfy your urges.

Lie 4
Marriage will give me more access to cash.
Then you go get yourself a rich guy or babe, greed cannot be satisfied no matter how much is thrown at it. Learn to be content with what you have, if you marry for money and the money is no longer there, you would then not have any reason to stay married.
Lie 5
The Mr. or Mrs. title will earn me some respect, people will nlonger talk to me anyhow.
Not true too! You earn respect from who you are, not from a title. So behave yourself respectably now and earn respect for yourself.

Treat others with respect too, for you will get what you give.

If you are single and hope to be happily married one day, then rid your mind and thoughts of these and some other myths about marriage that I might not have mentioned.

Marry to be a blessing to someone and not for someone to meet all your needs. Prepare yourself in every way you can so that when he/she meets you, he/she will consider you a valuable gift. Wisdom is needed to enjoy marriage, wisdom means applying true information and experiences to your life. Be smart; prepare to enjoy bliss in your marriage!

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: Proverbs-24: 3 

Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house. Proverbs-24: 27

Remember, marriage is not an end, it is a means to an end.

What are other lies do you think people believe about marriage?
What are some you USED to believe?

Copyright© Teshuva 2014 (update)

Photo Credit: Wallpapers
Update from 2012

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • favoredwoman
    Posted at 20:49h, 05 May

    very valid points you have raised. We make the mistake of thinking marriage is setup where we can go in and just collect , but the truth is that marriage is more about giving.
    Both parties have to give of themselves(time, energy, assistance, support, verbal encouragement etc)
    marriage cant heal you, only God can.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 11:52h, 06 May

      Truth! Only God can heal…
      Thanks for coming by sis!

  • Yulunda G.
    Posted at 07:55h, 05 May

    #2 Resonates for me as marriage does not meet all of your emotional needs. The truth of the matter is that we must seek deeper within ourselves and from our source and build our house as Proverbs so eloquently puts it.

    Thanks for sharing and I am glad I saw your post title on SITS Girls.

    Wishing you all the best!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:42h, 05 May

      Truly, only God, our source can ever satisfy the emptiness we feel and so long to fill. Thanks very much for coming by Yulunda, do have a super blessed week!

  • Tissy Sephai
    Posted at 12:46h, 04 May

    Lie #2 was so so true for me. When I gave my life to Jesus, I was so obsessed with marriage because I was not used to being without a man. I faced a lot of loneliness, rejection, and also sexual frustration and thought that I needed a man!!! LOL. But now I’m learning to seek God and build a relationship with Him even in times of rejection and loneliness. I desire to get married one day but I desire God more. Well, thats my lil story haha. Thanks for sharing this, many Christian singles need to know!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:40h, 05 May

      Amen! I am happy at the turn Tissy, I made some similar turns myself after being misled when I lost my Dad. I was searching so desperately for love in men but of course was never satisfied. We do not have to believe the lies of our emotions or the world.
      Do have a super blessed week.

  • vernon
    Posted at 10:49h, 02 May

    I used to hear the same thing. Those people just don’t want to change. Marriage is about the other person. If you’re self centered then marriage isnt for you. All I know it’s the best thing I ever done for myself.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:33h, 05 May

      Self-centredness has been mostly the reason most marriages fail. I pray we all die to self daily.

  • Justin M. Davito
    Posted at 00:20h, 02 May

    Excellent! It seems a lot of the “lies” are really our own sin (idolatry) and we think marriage or this certain person will fulfill it.