“The Lord bless you ma. Your write-ups have transformed so many homes, keep it up. How can one enjoy His marriage without enduring it? What are the ingredients to make our marriages blissful?” – I. O
In response to this, I decided to write on some ingredients I believe will essentially bring enjoyment instead of painful endurance to marriages.
1. Keep Your Expectations Real
Every one has expectations of their spouse, but we all must admit that some times our expectations are literarily unreal. Like when I expected my husband to Hold Me Through The Night.
We must think through our expectations thoroughly so that we won’t end up disappointed, embittered and frustrated. Do not ask for the impossible from your spouse.
2. Sow The Right Seeds
You must do the things that make for peace and joy in your marriage; you can only reap what you sow. If you do the things that cause anger, sorrow, sadness in your home, that is what you will encounter too, but if you bring in joy, peace and harmony, you will find joy in your home.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galatians 6: 7
3. Avoid Comparisons
Do not make the mistake of comparing your marriage with that of others. Every marriage has its peculiarities and trying to put yours sides by side another might cause you to get disgruntled.
If there is some work needed to improve your marriage, go on and work on it.
There is a common saying that’ “if your neighbour’s yard looks greener than yours, instead of wishing yours was that green, water and nurture your own garden.”
Only fools compare themselves with themselves. 2 Corinthians 10: 12
4. Avoid Unhealthy Counsel
So many times husbands and wives go to seek counsel from people who either lack wisdom, or do not have their good at heart. I have heard frustrated people give counsel and of course they gave counsel out of their emotions. Some give counsel out of ignorance, some out of envy. Please be wise, get counsel from God’s word, and if you receive any counsel against God’s word, dump it!
If God’s word does not cover it, it is not truth to go by. John 17: 17
5. Do Everything To Keep The Flame Of Love Burning
No marriage can really be enjoyed out side of romance. There are some things that kept you eager and hungry for your spouse in the beginning (besides sex). Do not abandon those things you used to do with and for each other that always brought joy and excitement. Also explore new ideas of how to keep romance alive in your marriage and work them in.
Song Of Solomon 1: 2, 4:10, 8: 6
6. Listen To Your Spouse
Many homes lack gusto because couples do lack the patience to listen to and heed each other’s heart cries. To enjoy your marriage, you must listen to your spouse with the intent of doing something about what he or she is saying.
You must pay attention to your spouse’s needs, that is one major way he or she is reassured of your care and understands how important he or she is to you. You will be at peace and both of you will find joy in and from each other.
Love is patient… 1 Corinthians 13:1
7. Love Genuinely
Let your love be genuine. Love selflessly without conditions. Wherever there is true love, peace and joy be very present. Love prefers the other person: always seek to give joy to your spouse and you will find joy in return.
[Let your] love be sincere (a real thing); Romans 12: 9 (AMP)
8. Do Not Depend On Your Spouse For Joy And Happiness
If you are not a happy person, your spouse will not make you happy. You have to generate joy from your inside, true joy only comes from God so you must allow The Holy Spirit to abide continually in you, He is The Fountain of Joy.
But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love,joy (gladness). Galatians 5:22
9. Let God Be The Head
Every good thing comes from God, including fulfillment, peace and joy. With God in the center of your home and His word the manual you run your marriage with; darkness will have no home in your marriage. Where there is darkness joy cannot be found, the word of God is light and light destroys every form of darkness.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turningIf God is TRULY Head in your marriage, joy comes naturally. James 1: 17
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Psalm 119: 105
I believe that any home that pursues the above will experience true joy in marriage.
- What are your thoughts on these?
- Do you have any other key you might want to add?
Copyright© Teshuva 2014
Photo Credit: Wallpapers