The Wedding Vow (updated) - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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The Wedding Vow (updated)

The Wedding Vow (updated)

the wedding vowDid you make any vows to your spouse the day you got married? I believe everyone did. Some of you like me read an already prepared vow by the Church, some wrote their heart felt words on papers and read it out during the wedding, while some spoke their vows straight from their hearts.

My Vow
…To have thee, hold thee, love, cherish and honour thee. I do solemnly promise before God, to be thy loving and faithful wife, to be true and loyal to thee in every condition of life: from poverty to prosperity, from sickness to health, from the curse to the blessing. I promise to keep myself unto thee and unto thee only, till death do us part.

Those were my wedding vows… okay, not all but most of it. Some times in reflection, I wonder why I seem to forget the vows I made on my wedding day. I made these vows thirteen years and seven months ago, and for the most part I have not thought about these words nor deliberately, consciously planned to make good my promise.

We Need To Get To It
No I am not beating up myself and I have not been a terrible wife but I know if evaluate my performance on the vows I made to my husband, I wouldn’t be able to say, I have kept them in earnest. And I know he cannot say he has kept his to the letter too.
I know it is so for most of us married people, we get so excited on our wedding days and make all these fantastic vows, promises and then, maybe just at the honey moon; we tear our very own words apart.  Some of us took the time to write our own vows, our heart, what we desire to be to our wives or husbands yet, when the opportunity to be or do those things presents itself we fail.

What If…
What if every man and woman made up their minds to fulfil their vows and stick to their words? What if we took our wedding vows more seriously and not reduce them to mere words spoken in a moment of excitement? Would it help to keep reminding us that those words were more than just words? To perhaps write them out or print them and put them in a place where we would continually see them so as to be reminded of our promises to each other? Would it help to know that they are not ordinary promises but covenants made and recognized by The One who joined the first ever couple, The One who instituted marriage?

As men and women of integrity, we should desire and seek to keep our words, make our words good, more so our wedding vows. Whether or not our spouses are faithful to theirs should not be a decisive factor for us. We are responsible at all times and in every condition for our actions and cannot put the blame on our spouses; any such blame is most times unacceptable. We should all do our own bits to the very best of our abilities.

I know for sure that if we walk in genuine love, we would not struggle to keep our vows to our spouses. But keeping our vows before us, mentally or physically would help us check to evaluate and improve on how we are doing.

Do you remember your wedding vows?

  • The words you spoke with heart, eyes and mouth filled with love and passion for your spouse?
  • Do you remember that moment when your heartbeats raced and you had happy visions or dreams of how wonderful your lives together would be, how when you slipped the ring into his/her finger you thought to yourself that that was the day and the one you’ve been waiting for, do you remember?
  • Do you remember how you wrote and rewrote the words you were going to say to him/her, checking to ensure that you wrote it just the way you felt it in your heart of hearts, do you remember?

Or have you forgotten?

  • Have you forgotten that you loved him/her enough to trust him/her with your heart and future?
  • Have you forgotten to remember the words you spoke to your spouse wishing he/her could open your heart and see how you felt inside?
  • Have you forgotten and allowed the pressures you face to affect your integrity to your spouse and the God who was part of the covenant? Have you forgotten?

Let me share an excerpt from a song I love so much by Bebe and Cece Winans- These What Abouts

…Cause what about the plans we made
What about the dreams of cascades
What about the vows we pledged
Are they still alive or dead
And what about the promise to stay
Can I still believe it’s ok
Can we somehow talk about these what abouts…

God will hold us accountable for the vows we made. After all, we made it before Him. It would indeed truly make a huge difference if we remember our wedding vows and determine to keep them, or don’t you think?

But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: 1 John 2:25 (ESV)

If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2 (ESV) Emphasis mine

Do you remember at all the vows you made on your wedding day?
Do you work at ensuring you keep them?

Copyright© Teshuva 2014

Photo Credit: Wallpapers

Sharing With: Wedded Wednesday


Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

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  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 14:55h, 12 April

    {Melinda} Awesome post! Marriage is hard. Really hard. But I think we make it so much harder when we become self-focused and worry only about our needs. God has done so many good things in my marriage when I lean on Him and focus on Him and my husband instead of always how I don’t think I’m getting enough attention, appreciation, love, etc. All those things come to me when I get my focus OFF myself.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 22:20h, 12 April

      Selflessness cures us from many ills and we can only have selflessness in Christ. Focus in God and our spouses will mean we have submitted to keeping our wedding vows. Thanks for coming by Melinda!

  • Beth
    Posted at 17:08h, 10 April

    I have two separate frames that contain my husband’s and my wedding vows hanging on a wall in our bedroom, Ugochi. I always wanted to make them a priority and ongoing focus. But honestly, I’ve not really given them much thought. They’ve become like the background of my bedroom–rarely noticed! I am so glad you’ve brought this up. I’m thinking of many ways I could remind myself of them–perhaps first of all, by memorizing them. Then I couldn’t walk by and ignore them. They would be hidden in my heart, right? Thanks again for a great topic and your valuable challenge to all of us, my friend!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 17:11h, 10 April

      I hardly think of them too, except when I attend a wedding or when I am deep in thoughts. I need to find a way to hide them in my thoughts to Beth. Thanks for your regular encouraging words.

  • Joe Pote
    Posted at 05:02h, 10 April

    Sacred vows are easy to make. But the value is not in making the vows but rather in honoring the vows.

    Thank you, Ugochi, for the reminder.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 08:08h, 10 April

      Very true Joseph. God helps us to honour our vows.

  • Rosey
    Posted at 19:07h, 09 April

    I think the only reason I knew my wedding vows was because they were the ones used on TV shows. I’ve since come to ‘know’ them, but it was a long time coming (and I’m still working on getting it just right).

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 22:12h, 09 April

      Lol! Rosey, you are too funny! And I am still working on fulfilling all of mine.

  • Uzo
    Posted at 13:10h, 09 April

    By this I am also going to print my vows and having it framed just by the bed side. So I can read it to my spouse everyday. I live this piece mama Ugochi.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 13:21h, 09 April

      That is a great move! It is good remind ourselves of highly important things as our wedding vows!

  • Susie (The Esthetic Goddess)
    Posted at 21:56h, 07 April

    I do remember our vows but we were just married in October, However we have been together for over 7 years and have always had such a deep respect for each other so the vows and marriage has just added to that!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 13:10h, 08 April

      Oh congratulations Susie!

  • Justin M. Davito
    Posted at 14:17h, 07 April

    Thank you for this. My wife is starting her home business of custom vinyl (more stuff in the future) for the walls. We are getting our vows printed on the wall in our living room next to our wedding photo!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 13:08h, 08 April

      That is very great! We need do need reminders, and this one will definitely be great since it is just by the photo.