14 Apr Shhh… Don’t Say Divorce
When tempers rise in the midst of an argument between a man and his wife, more often than not unwholesome and destructive words are spoken. I have discovered that we do not speak from empty hearts, we often speak thoughts that we have played around with in our hearts before the time; whether years, months, weeks, days, or hours before. We must have thought it before we spoke it.
It has become common knowledge that the words we speak are seeds and carry the power to produce. But many times because our hearts are full, it cannot help but spill out the words in it no matter how suppressed or delayed. Given the right conditions, when any seed is planted it will produce fruit, given the right conditions when we speak words into our lives and marriages, we will see the fruits, whether good or bad.
When we play with or think about something long enough, no matter how long we have held back, someday when the heart comes under pressure it cannot help but let it out.
I have often listened to a man or woman say to me (on my job), that their spouse always threatens them with divorce whenever there is a misunderstanding between them; this is unacceptable.
When couples keep threatening each other with divorce…
-“I am tired of all of this, maybe we should get a divorce!”
-“You better stop pushing me or I will leave you and this marriage!”
-“I have been telling you, marriage is not by force. When I have had it, I will serve you the papers!”
…They are are speaking words into their homes that if they leave undone could bring in the fruits into their marriages.
The Heart Connection
We all know that no word comes out of the mouth without first passing through the heart, be it even for a split second. Whatever the mouth speaks, the heart supplies, Jesus puts it this way;
…out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Matthew 12:34
There is a direct link between the heart and the mouth, when it comes to the words we speak. So in order to stop speaking divorce into our marriages, we MUST stop thinking divorce.
It is scary to know that even if it stops in our thoughts, we still put our marriages at risk because what we think about affects our lives. We should protect our hearts, because it is the power house of our lives.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23 NLT
Now that we know that what goes on in our hearts determine the course of our lives we ought to take great caution of what thoughts we allow in our hearts. Once the heart is able to influence the mind on an issue, it is as good as done.
We must protect our hearts and be careful of what our minds feed it. The mind is mostly affected by externals; what people tell you, what you think and what you feel. We must then protect our hearts by feeding it constantly with the best thoughts concerning us as declared by God our Maker and Father via His word.
Cleansing The Heart
Just in case you already have filled your hearts with thoughts of divorce, you can cleanse your heart by replacing those thoughts with God’s truths. It may not be automatic but consistently reading, studying, meditating on and speaking the word will cleanse the heart from every impure thought. The word of God is water, the greatest cleansing agent.
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. Ephesians 5:26
We must fight every thought contrary to God’s word in our lives. We must constantly go to God in prayer as we read His word because He alone has the ability to cleanse our hearts.
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5
The Bible says that our tongues carry the power of life and death, we reap the fruits of what we speak. Proverbs 18: 21
We ought to speak life rather than death into our marriages. Couples have to make an end of suffocating their marriages with negative words of divorce threats because the thoughts we think and the words we speak run the course of our lives; don’t even joke about it!
So please never say divorce unless you are saying, “Divorce is not an option in my marriage!”
Remember, it begins with the heart!
-Have you or anyone you know been harassed with divorce threats?
-Have you spoken divorce into your marriage?
-Do you agree it is unhealthy?
-Are you doing anything to cleanse your heart and tongue from divorce?
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2014
Sharing with: Wedded Wednesday