Woman Wrapper, Dummy Wife
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-3402,single-format-standard,bridge-core-3.0.6,qode-page-transition-enabled,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode_grid_1300,qode-child-theme-ver-1.0.0,qode-theme-ver-29.3,qode-theme-bridge,disabled_footer_bottom,qode_header_in_grid,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-6.10.0,vc_responsive

Woman Wrapper, Dummy Wife

two rings

Woman Wrapper, Dummy Wife

Woman Wrapper
Traditionally in the part of Africa where I come from, women are expected to do all the house chores; cook, clean house, do the laundry, perform their sexual duties, mind the children, and all the works.
The men are actually expected to do nothing, except bring in the money, and in some cultures they do nothing at all. After work the men are not supposed to pick a pin in the house, they can sit around and watch TV, even if their wives are crumbling under the weight of running the home, they are not expected to lift a finger of help. The men are not supposed to listen to their wives, they make all the decisions, issue the orders and the wife just does not get involved…

So when they see a man who helps look after the children, cooks some dinner, helps with the laundry, assists in tidying up the house and considers his wife’s opinions in his personal life and home affairs, they call him a “woman wrapper”.

“Woman wrapper” literarily refers to a man who fears his wife and cannot but do her bidding.

My Take
Only a strong man helps his wife at home. Only a real man knows that his strength is not for lording over his wife but for protection, supporting and nourishing his wife.
If assisting your wife, and taking care of her, listening to her instead of shouting her down makes people think you a “woman wrapper”, in the eyes of God, you are a true son of His. That is part of what it means to love your wife. 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:25

Dummy Wife
Now on the flip side, when a woman is careful about discharging her duties as a wife, companion, mother and home maker, some people think she does not have a mind of her own. When she seeks to obey her husband and submit to him as unto God, they say she is just being a dummy. When a woman decides she would stay in the background and rather invest more in her family than get into the workforce she is considered to be without ambition. One woman said to me that she will not hide under her husband’s name, she must go out there and  make a name for herself too.

When a woman chooses or agrees with her husband not to work outside the home, but stays home to take care of and be there for her husband and children, spending quality time making her house a home and investing in the very people that matter to her, not that she could not do this if she worked outside, but she chose to stay home because working outside the home would not afford her the adequate time she wanted.
These kinds of women are often looked down upon and considered not smart and dummy wives. Sometimes they are considered to be fools staying or working from home because their husband said so.

My Take
The best job any woman can ever take on is investing her life in that of her children. Any woman who yields herself to her husband and submits to him out of love and revenue for God finds a special place in God’s heart. There is no greater ambition to pursue than to build a sound and successful home, raising children that will take their world.
A stay at home mom is no less than a career mom, or business home no matter how many millions they bring home.
It is all a matter of choice and what our dreams and goals are. Whatever good you need to do to build your home to God’s glory is up to you. God has called women homebuilders; we need ample time to do the job effectively. Proverbs 14:1

So for the sake of your tradition (the rules handed down by your forefathers), you have set aside the Word of God [depriving it of force and authority and making it of no effect]. Matthew 15:6 (AMP)

I believe we should do what we should do according to God’s word and not run our marriages and homes according to men’s ideas. What do you think?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Photo Credit: Spectrums Jewellery


Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Michell
    Posted at 04:10h, 19 November

    Hi Ugochi! Great post my friend! As a spouse(either husband or wife), we are to add to one another’s life, not take away. A marriage where both spouses refresh the other is a marriage that’s bound to be a flourishing one! Thanks so much for linking up over at DYWW! Blessings my friend!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 11:47h, 19 November

      Exactly! It is about sharing and caring…
      Thanks a lot, the pleasure is all mine.
      Do have a super blessed day Michell!

  • Unyime-Ivy King
    Posted at 19:35h, 16 November

    My sis, each time you write, you have an uncanny way of speaking my mind as I agree with most of your views. Well done. It takes a strong man or woman to live out scriptural stipulations for marriage and dare to ignore the status quo. Give me a ‘woman wrapper’ hubby any day and I’m not ashamed to be a ‘dummy’ wife. God’s word has the final say and it’s my standard for living, not old wives fables!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 11:37h, 19 November

      Yay for “Dummy Wives” I am one too! I’d rather please God than man.
      Thanks a lot for your encouragement, have a super blessed day!

  • Raju
    Posted at 04:18h, 16 November

    Here in Nigeria, in most of the families i know, the men just sit back and watch their wives do everything. they build the home as well as bring in the bread. it’s quite sad, men are getting lazier and sadly too dependent by the day.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 10:04h, 19 November

      I agree with you bro, some women on another hand are also getting too strong headed for God and His word, refusing to recognize their husbands as head.
      Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  • christa sterken
    Posted at 01:05h, 14 November

    Interesting to read about the different cultures, while there are plenty of men who won’t help with the household (or anything) in our country (America), to imagine where it isn’t even expected is tough. I have great compassion. Thanks for ending on a positive spin

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:26h, 14 November

      Thanks for coming by Christa. It does seem that you did not quite read on DUMMY WIFE, where women who are submissive and who try to be homely are misunderstood and even scorned. Thanks for coming by, I appreciate your comment. Have a super blessed day!

  • Crystal Green
    Posted at 03:43h, 14 November

    This is definitely quite interesting. I don’t think I could handle not being married to a “woman wrapper.” I am blessed to have a husband who helps out any way he can to keep our house running in complete order. He does get waited on a lot too, but he does his fair share too. I can’t imagine having to do everything on my own. I’d never have time to do my blogging or anything for me that’s for sure. I would have to say I admire those women for living like that!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:12h, 19 November

      Most people cannot accept what they cannot understand, and a lot of people do not understand having a god man for a husband. Thanks for coming by Crystal, have a super blessed week ahead!

  • Laurie
    Posted at 23:46h, 13 November

    It is amazing how different cultures. I like your view. I feel God smiling on you. Thanks for sharing my SITS Day yesterday!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:27h, 14 November

      My pleasure Laurie! Thanks for coming by and leaving this encouragement, do have a super blessed day!

  • Beth
    Posted at 19:41h, 13 November

    Agreed, Ugochi! I don’t know that I could add or take away from anything you’ve so eloquently and passionately said here, my friend! I wasn’t aware of how extreme your culture was/is on the issue of the man being the head of the household. I’m so grateful that my hubby “loves me” in a servant-like way. It makes me want to love him back with more and more humble service and submission. 🙂

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:29h, 14 November

      Praise God for great men! It does seem though that you did not note the part I wrote on the DUMMY WIFE, where women who try to leave out scriptures in their marriages are being reproached. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this encouragement Beth. Have a super blessed day!

  • Christa
    Posted at 16:59h, 13 November

    I think everyone would like more help but I know very few families where it’s not the woman running the household, whether she works or not!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:32h, 14 November

      I agree with you Christa, just like women should be encouraged to submit themselves to their husbands as unto God and also know that their worth is not dependent on whether or not they choose to work outside or focus solely on working at home.
      Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  • Colleen @ MommieDaze
    Posted at 14:58h, 13 November

    I completely agree. Marriage is a partnership, and if we are really fulfilling our God-given roles we will help each other out.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:33h, 14 November

      It is all about complimenting and supporting each other, no competitions at all.
      Thanks a lot for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  • Lahyorz
    Posted at 10:03h, 13 November

    I am thankful for the helpful husband God gave me :)). Love is an action word; if a man can watch his wife strain and stress as a result of house chores and it does not bother him, he has not yet understood what it is to love – as Christ loved. Have a blessed day!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:34h, 14 November

      Amen sister, husbands lead lovingly and wives submit in obedience to God.
      It makes it so much easier!

  • Denise
    Posted at 09:37h, 13 November

    Hi Ugochi,
    This is something that is always on my heart! As a working mom for over 30 years, I have always found it to be a challenge to be submissive to my husband. Thankfully, he accepts (and even likes-most the time!) little old independent me…ha! I have always appreciated being involved and making decisions together (and oh yes…helping each other in chores and tasks!), but I do know that I sometimes need to be a little more passive and receptive to his ideas and decisions. I enjoyed reading about the tradition in the part of Africa you grew up in-thanks for sharing!

    Blessings and hugs!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:36h, 14 November

      Praise God Denise! He must be a selfless husband, and I am glad you understand you should bend towards his leadership.
      God’s grace can make that happen!
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day!

  • Howard Odigie
    Posted at 18:09h, 12 November

    Again, it is “gbam!!!” post. Your view may not be popular with some people but it is the right way. I have a testimony that agrees with your view TOTALLY. The testimony is not ripe yet. But I am excited already just visualizing the looks on the faces of the men when I stand before them to testify. So help me God.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:38h, 14 November

      Amen! I look forward to the day bro, I couldn’t help smiling as I read this. That is totally how love works.

  • Meredith
    Posted at 23:55h, 11 November

    Amen, sister. Where I come from {in America} it is perfectly acceptable for men to help with the household chores, tending to the baby, etc. I think more and more men are getting involved, whereas this was not the case some years ago. As a wife, I’m encouraged by this. However, I don’t know that men will ever catch up with women in terms of all that we do. Even if a woman works outside the home, as well as her husband, she most likely is the one to run the home as well. XOXO

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 01:40h, 14 November

      Very true, but it is all about giving. Wives submit to their husbands as unto God and husbands love and nourish their wives…