18 Nov Bearing Our Spouses’ Burdens
Like in every other relationship, in marriage, husband and wife are meant to share and offer help for one another’s burdens. Any relationship devoid of sharing and caring is meaningless and unhealthy. There are two sides to bearing our spouses burdens; it has to work one way or the other.
Sharing Our Burdens
On one hand we ought to share our troubles with our spouses and ask for help in ways we believe they can help us. So many times leaving them guessing on the reason for our disposition or attitude will do us no good.
Sharing our troubles with our spouses gets it off our chests and unclogs our hearts from any negative emotion that might want to settle when we do not. It is often said that a problem is half solved when it is shared this is especially correct if shared with the right person.
Having someone to share our burdens with is one of the benefits marriage affords us.
It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 MSG
Bearing Their Burdens
On another hand we should bear our spouses burdens, their losses, and their heartaches with them. We also ought to “know” when something is troubling our spouses. When we sense something is not looking quite right about our spouses we should ask to know what it is. We should not carry on as if nothing is wrong and say to ourselves they will come round, or ignore them since they do not want to talk about it. We must also offer help after we know; the help could range from encouragement, to counsel, prayers or simply listening.
Bearing our spouse burden means that when something bothers them it bothers us. When they are in a situation that seems to weigh them down, we are genuinely concerned and we show it, we do something about it, seeking for ways that we can share their burdens by looking for how we can help them.
Sometimes we are tempted to ignore our spouses in their pain or challenges or whatever they are facing because we advised them against something they said or did leading up to the challenge. But wrong cannot correct wrong, only right can. Bearing our spouses burdens no matter the situation is the right thing to do.
See that none of you repays another with evil for evil, but always aim to show kindness and seek to do good to one another and to everybody. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (AMP)
Even when we think they got themselves into the mess, standing aloof will hurt them even more than the trouble. Knowing that they are not alone will be a serious encouragement and strength to them. Mere knowing we are praying for them because that is all we can do in a particular stance will go a long way in alleviating the pain they feel.
Like I Said earlier, it may not even be a direct involvement, it might be taking the matter to The One who can deliver them from whatever it is they are going through, interceding for them, putting them and the situation in God’s hands.
…and pray for one another…James 5: 16 ESV
Every one will definitely be accountable for their decisions and actions. But in any genuine relationship, in every godly marriage, couples must learn to share their burdens with their spouses and also bear their burdens. That is a true representation of a healthy relationship.
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NKJV
So, how do you and your spouse react to each other’s burdens, or how do you intend for it to be handled in your future marriage?
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013
Photo Credit: Ringsview
BethPosted at 12:56h, 20 November
A beautiful and powerful message. My husband and I are learning how to do this even while apart. I’ve quickly realized praying for him daily is so important. Thank you for sharing this with us today. Thank you for your kind words at my place! It’s a pleasure to meet you through Michell and to be featured together today at her place.
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 16:04h, 20 November
That is a sure way to bear his burdens given the situation. Thanks a lot for coming by Beth, do have a super blessed day!
Christina @ Juggling Real Food and Real LifePosted at 18:49h, 20 November
Thank you Ugochi. I really needed this today. You have given me the courage to do what is right for my marriage even though it may be uncomfortable.
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 10:48h, 21 November
Amen! I am grateful to God you are encouraged by this, and I appreciate your coming by and leaving this note. Do have a super blessed day!
MichellPosted at 16:44h, 20 November
This is a wonderful topic Ugochi! I especially love the part about “temptation”. It’s so easy to sit back and say/think “I told you so”, when our spouse doesn’t do what “we think” is the right thing. As you’ve stated…totally against the will of God. As couples we are to support one another, because we are in fact ONE, right? 🙂 Have a blessed week my friend!
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 10:46h, 21 November
Right Michell, we are ONE. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note. Have a super blessed day!
BethPosted at 15:54h, 20 November
With this cancer scare, Ugochi, I’m really taking advantage of a burden shared with my husband and feel like it is revealing to me more and more just how deeply he loves me. I know this dark chapter will bring us closer together, so I’m grateful for what you’ve challenged us to do and to remember as we do life with our spouses. Loved this, my friend!
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 16:06h, 20 November
Amen Beth! I thank God for great men like your husband, and I am glad God blessed you with him. You are in my prayers and I know the end will be victory.
Kim @ 2justByouPosted at 06:53h, 20 November
This just happened to be exactly what I needed to read about today. Thank you for this post.
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 07:55h, 20 November
Howard OdigiePosted at 14:13h, 19 November
“But wrong can not correct wrong, only right can” This is the key. No matter what our action is, it should pass the test of the rule of doing “right”. It is not going to come easy but we must try.
By the way, our spouses are one with us. Can we afford to do wrong to (punish) ourselves even when we did wrong in the first place. Like paying wrong with a wrong?
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 07:56h, 20 November
No we cannot bro! Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day!
Kalonda ColemanPosted at 03:03h, 19 November
Great post! Communication is one of the key components of a successful marriage, and that’s communication with our Father as well as with our spouse. When we are married we become one. My husband’s burdens are my burdens and my burdens are his, so we handle our burdens together.
Ugochi JolomiPosted at 11:46h, 19 November
Amen! That is the way God intended it. Communication is one of the key components of marriage indeed.
Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note. Do have a super blessed day!