A Husband's Love
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A Husband’s Love

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A Husband’s Love

For about three weeks now I have written on Love And Submission in marriage. These are the very basic ingredients for a successful marriage and home. Any home where these two ingredients are practiced in their real sense is guaranteed peace and joy. I have written three articles sequel to this one, in case you missed any of them, here they are; Love And Submission 1, Love And Submission 2 and When Submission Is Not An Option.

In Love And Submission 1 & 2, I focused on Submission as a requirement for a wife, now I want to express my thoughts from scriptures, on the husband’s duty to love his wife according to Ephesians 5.

Love Your Wife Like Christ Loved The Church
Husbands have a huge task of loving their wives like Christ loved the Church, with a sincere, pure and constant love that remains notwithstanding her failures, shortcomings and attitude.
Christ loved the Church to death, without waiting for her to be perfect. He gave Himself up for her; for husbands this does not mean literal death but could mean death to ego, pride and all those inherent nature of man to Lord over his wife.
God has made the man the head of his home undoubtedly, but he is required to employ the tactics of a loving leader, like Christ was and still is to the Church.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her Ephesians 5:25 (AMP)

Love Your Wife To Faultlessness
Is it possible? Yes it is, when you model Christ-like love to your wife in spite of her faults, you lovingly lead her to that state of grace where she seeks to be like you. She is motivated by your love and begins to desire to love God even more because of the fruits she finds in you.
I know this so well because my husband’s love life has often provoked me to walk on my own and also work hard towards becoming a better wife to him.
There is a weight that comes with this command; Christ loved the Church and gave up Himself for her…
So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word. That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. Ephesians 5: 26-27 (AMP)

This makes me believe that husbands will in some way be accountable for how they loved or did not love their wives; they would be required as husbands to present their wives to God, holy and spotless. Not that they have become Christ, but they represent Christ in their marriages and have become the saviour of their wives. Ephesians 5:23 (AMP)
So men, when you love your wives, you are simply fulfilling or obeying a command from God, and following in the footsteps of the greatest husband ever; Christ Himself.

Love Your Wife Like Yourself
The Bible says you and your wife have become one flesh after you got married. God requires that you love your wife like you love yourself. Nourishing, cherishing and protecting her, the kind of love that makes her feel secure in you and the marriage. Assuring her that you are there for her like Christ has promised to never leave or forsake the Church.
Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church. Ephesians 5: 28-29 (AMP)

“Love never fails” the Bible says, when a man loves and a woman submits; the marriage is ecstasy. This series continues…

What would you add to this, how else do you think you can love your wife, how else can your husband can love you?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Photo Credit: Wallpapers HD


Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Pingback:Couples And Submission To God
    Posted at 18:51h, 21 October

    […] of the series on Love And Submission (please read the preceding articles here, here, here and here), I must restate that determination to work their marriage must be present in the hearts of […]

  • Joe Pote
    Posted at 15:05h, 16 October

    “…they would be required as husbands to present their wives to God, holy and spotless. Not that they have become Christ, but they represent Christ in their marriages and have become the saviour of their wives.”

    This is a heavy burden and an unrealistic expectation. Within a marriage, both parties are responsible for consistently demonstrating love to one another. However, neither party is responsible for their spouse’s response.

    That sort of thinking can keep a person trapped in an abusive relationship for many years, feeling responsible for “fixing” their spouse’s issues.

    Only God can change a heart…and not even God will violate human free will.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:32h, 16 October

      You are very correct Joe, NOBODY can change anybody’s heart, this is very true and I recognize it so very well. But I also know that we can be influential and instruments in God’s hand (as we obey His commands) to show Christ to a person. And like this is heavy duty for husbands, God also has something similar for wives…

      Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 1 Peter 3:1&2

      Like it can be tough to love a seemingly unlovable, disrespectful woman, it can be tough to submit to a man who does not lead in love.

      If you read the preceding series my brother, you probably would understand better what I am communicating, it definitely takes both the husband and wife to make it work.
      Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving your thoughts, I do appreciate it. Have a super blessed day!

      • Joe Pote
        Posted at 15:54h, 16 October

        Oh, I absolutely agree that covenant vows are sacred and a weighty responsibility! And I absolutely agree that most of us do have influence with our spouse.

        And yes, we are absolutely called to love our spouse even when they do not act lovable…and even when we do not feel loving.

        Sometimes that love is in the form of affection and understanding. Other times it is in the form of exhortation or rebuke (Proverbs 27:6). Always, love is intended for the other person’s good.

        But…we are each responsible only for what we can control, and although we can control our own behavior and attitudes and potentially influence our spouse, we cannot control our spouse’s choices.

        Over the years, the serenity prayer has become a frequent prayer, for me:
        “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

        Blessings to you, Ugochi!

  • Rosey
    Posted at 18:59h, 15 October

    This is good that you took time out to write this, it’s important for us too, to remember to love our husbands the way we expect them to love us. We can be so expectant sometimes, or at least that’s what I’ve found to be common, including when looking at myself. Thank you for posting, I know these are areas of scripture often hard to understand or apply.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 19:02h, 15 October

      Yes indeed, I took time the previous series to write for the wives. I know it goes both ways.
      Thanks a lot for coming by Rosey, have a super blessed day!

  • Sheila at Longings End
    Posted at 15:55h, 15 October

    Yes it is, when you model Christ-like love to your wife in spite of her faults, you lovingly lead her to that state of grace where she seeks to be like you. She is motivated by your love and begins to desire to love God even more because of the fruits she finds in you.

    Loved your post, Ugochi, and I can so relate to the above quote as I see this happening in my marriage. Thanks much for sharing your thoughts. Very insightful. God bless you and your family {I am mom to three boys, too. Now all grown up!}


    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 17:49h, 15 October

      Then I need to take lessons from you on how you managed three boys…
      It is gladdening to confirm that we still have many godly men who fear God and hold His word up. Those are the men that make amazing husbands…
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day.

  • Vernon
    Posted at 10:27h, 15 October

    Good job Ugochi! Christ’s love lead him to die for us so the only way I could live for my wife with this type of love, was to die to self by paying more attention to the small things that’s important to her, and making them important to me. I joked about it in my latest post http://www.startsandendwithyou.com/2013/10/13/how-me-and-my-wife-became-one-flesh/ but that’s how me and my wife became “One Flesh.” With me taking in God’s word daily, the Holy Spirit taught me how to love my wife as Christ loved the church. Thanks for another great post!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:55h, 15 October

      Thanks a lot Vernon! I am glad I got a witness!

  • Beverley
    Posted at 21:33h, 14 October

    When a husband and wife can do the things that you have written about then they will have a perfect marriage, we are promised that from God, but first come the trials and the hard work, but in the end it will all be worth it.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 12:58h, 15 October

      Hallelujah! It is so worth it in the end, that is our motivation. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving your thoughts Beverly, have a super blessed day!

  • Beth
    Posted at 15:41h, 14 October

    I love all of your points, Ugochi, but especially your second one, “Love Your Wife to Faultlessness.” I truly believe that is where my greatest spiritual and relational leaps have come–through my husband’s belief in me and encouragement of me spiritually. Thanks so much for sharing these great thoughts today, my friend!

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:45h, 14 October

      Thank you Beth! Love is so powerful and it works wonders in marriage. It did for me too!

  • Joan
    Posted at 14:48h, 14 October

    Great points! God loves marriage and He intended marriage to be a wonderful union for us. In my marriage, my husband and I have learned that when we understand that we are “on the same side”, keep Christ at the center and then work toward common goals, God blesses us. We are uniquely different people, but that doesn’t mean we should push against each other. Instead, our differences complement each other. God has designed us to work as a team…and has left all the instructions in His Word! I thank God for my husband and the godly man He is!

    Blessings, Joan

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:07h, 14 October

      Amen! It is a great blessing to be married to a man who fears God and reveres His word, such a man would not find it too hard to love like Christ. Thanks a lot for coming by, do have a super blessed week!