The age long talk about love and submission is forever important in marriage. It is a subject that gets couples asking all kinds of questions like, “How can I love a woman who would not respect, honour and submit to me, like God has commanded?” and “How can I submit to a man who I cannot say for sure that he loves me and has my best interest at heart?” I had questions in my heart too, until I gained understanding as I sought clarifications from scriptures. The understanding I gained is what I want to share for the next maybe couple of weeks.
First I would like to remind every married or planning-to-be-married person that God’s commands are not subject to questioning, scrutiny, or debate, they are to be obeyed. Not that God is a taskmaster waiting to come down on us with a sledgehammer when we disobey, in fact He encourages us by telling us that His commands are not to bring us grief or burden us. I John 5:3
He tells us, “My yoke is wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.” Matthew 11:30
Note that His commands are actually intended to be useful to us, not pressing on us, and for our own benefits.
Now that this is cleared, let us review God’s command concerning the subject of love and submission:
Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, Ephesians 5:22-29
Now, we see that the wife is to submit to her husband as unto The Lord, while the husband is to love like Christ demonstrated His love for the Church. God didn’t say to wait until your wife submits or till your husband loves. This can be very tough I know but it is in your own obedience that the seed is planted and as you keep doing your part, you nurture that seed into blossoming and if you were not getting the reciprocity at first, because you have been sowing the seed of obedience, you begin to reap the fruit of obedience. The law of sowing and reaping cannot be broken.
But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience). James 1:25 (AMP)
Obeying God’s word is primary to your accessing His blessings, so when you obey His word concerning marriage, you are actually doing it for yourself.
With this in mind: are you striving to truly love your wife, or wholly submit to your husband?
Please share your thoughts with me and come back next week for the continuation of this very vital topic.
© 2013 Teshuva