5 Signs You Are Not Ready For Marriage - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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5 Signs You Are Not Ready For Marriage

single, marriage, married, prayer, teshuva

5 Signs You Are Not Ready For Marriage

single, married, prayer, teshuvaMarriage does not depend solely on age. Age is only a number and it does not have much to do with maturity. I agree that most times maturity comes with age but I have seen some cases where younger people are more mature in thoughts and actions than their older counterparts. So with this in mind, I would like to list five signs to know you or perhaps someone you know is not ready for marriage.

1. You are not thinking about it
If you are too busy about your business to think of life with someone else then you are probably not ready for marriage. You are not ready to accommodate anyone else in your life right now. Any one who talks to you about marriage might irritate you because you are still very full of your self, your life and your pursuits so much so that you are not even considering sharing it with someone. You are what you think.
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he… Proverbs 23:7 KJV

2. You do not dream about it
If you are not passionate about getting married, then it means you do not dream about it. It is not a dream yet for you because like I said above, you are not thinking marriage, you are still too self inclined. If marriage is not yet one of your dreams then you are not ready for it, if you mistakenly get married, you will not have the passion that is required to keep your marriage alive and aflame.
Abraham had a dream for his son to marry in the covenant and he pursued it with passion until it came to pass.

3. You are not preparing for it
If you stop at dreaming about getting married without taking the necessary steps to prepare yourself for marriage then you still are not ready to be married. Preparing your spirit, emotions and attitude, growing up and maturing in your thoughts… Whatever you do not prepare for you will not succeed in. It is like desiring and dreaming to be a pilot, but you do not take time to go through the aviation school to get the necessary preparations. You are not ready to fly any plane because your dreaming and desiring it alone cannot make it happen. If you attempt it, you will crash the plane and whoever is on board with you. David prepared himself with the lion and bear, so he could face and defeat Goliath.

4. You are not planning for it
While preparing has mostly to do with you, planning has to do with your marriage, how you want it. Please I do not mean the whole wedding ceremony, I am talking of the marriage itself. The kind of person you want for a spouse, the kind of home you want, the kind and number of children you plan to raise. It means designing an overall blue print for your marriage, putting down a scheme that you plan to work out in your marriage.
And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. Habakkuk 2:2 KJV

5. You are not praying for and about it
Finally for those of you who have a relationship with God, if you are not praying about it, you are not ready too.  Prayer is what it is that puts all other things together to get you ready for marriage. Even if all the other things; your thinking, dreaming, preparation and planning are all in shape, only God can make them produce the desired result for you. And it is only in asking Him, that He can make it happen.
The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from The Lord. Proverbs 16:1 KJV

Are you ready for marriage? Do you know anyone who is not ready? Can this help? Is there something else you might want to add? Please do not leave without leaving your thoughts.

© 2013 ugochi-jolomi.com

Sharing With: Favourite Things, Thumping Thursday

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • grace
    Posted at 12:14h, 16 June

    Nice post indeed,i have an issue and need your help..i was in a relationship wit a guy from Calabar,indeed he is someone that i would have loved to spend my life with but the issue is that he doesn’t treat me with regard, he can stay for 3 weeks without hearing from me and when he calls he starts saying thins about luv,i believe if a guy really loves a girl he cannot stay for a day without communicating with whom he loves no matter the distance and even if they have issues he cannot stay with hearing from her despite if she doesn’t call him. Also he is not from a buoyant background and due to that he always say the poor cannot have anything with the rich and severally i have warned him about saying such also he makes a comment with seriousness that if i think i am doing him good in this relationship and has made this comment like 3 times…recently he dropped the call on me because i didn’t call him a pet name when he called me and that was due to network problem cuz the line was breaking so i was saying hello, hello to get him before i can greet him with a pet name and what happened next was that he dropped the call on me. For three weeks he didn’t hear or communicate with me so i got tired of this kind of relationship i was in with him and decided to break up cuz it’s better to be alone and be happy than to be in a relationship and not feel loved and unhappy
    Now yesterday he began a chat that he needs me back and stuffs like dat and his mum wants to see me that he wants me back and i should forgive him of everything. And i asked him how long i will continue forgiving u for such acts and u continue behaving such. Pls i really need your advice and help through God. Don’t want to make the wrong choice or accept out of pity.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 20:47h, 16 June

      It is good to be true to self Grace. Please do not marry out of pity, that would be an error you might regret later in life. And I also want to say that whatever you cannot handle now, you cannot handle after marriage and it be another issue.
      If you have been on these issues for long and do not see any change or at least efforts to change, I would advice you do not get back in.
      Marriage affects every area of your life and if you must enjoy your marriage, you must marry for love and someone who feels comfortable with you and who you also feel comfortable with.
      If he has insecurities due to his financial state, it might lead to a huge mountain later on.
      If you think he has changed or is willing to change then you can go ahead.
      BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, ask God to lead you. And make sure you have GOD’S PEACE in your heart whatever you decide.
      I hope I have helped in your quest for the right choice.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Kwame
    Posted at 03:34h, 08 March

    Thank You, I have a big but small issue, I am in relationship and I can see that I am not even ready next or 2 years, though I am a good christian, but this relationship is making me sin against God, and the only way I can stop sinning is by quitting but i fear I may cause damage to her, so what do i do now

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 08:13h, 08 March

      You are actually causing her Serious damage by hanging on to her and both of you displeasing God. If she is ready and you are not you need to let her know so she can move on.
      Most importantly, you need to tell her you want to stop offending God by disengaging from cats of sin with her. Then you stop and quit like you want to. Be nice but very firm about it. She will be broken hearted of course but it she will appreciate it later. I pray both if you will brace up and do the right thing.

  • unyime-ivy king
    Posted at 01:37h, 19 August

    Interesting outline, Ugo. Marriage is not to be taken lightly and even though one cannot claim to be 100% ready for marriage, it is still a good thing to prepare for it. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 13:46h, 20 August

      Thanks for coming by Sis! I appreciate your comments.

  • Abiola
    Posted at 07:22h, 21 July

    I agree absolutely with this. So many people, mostly women enter this institution without praying and preparing adequately, hence the increasing rates of divorce. And many place greater emphasis on the wedding ceremony than the marriage itself.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 08:31h, 22 July

      It is a sad truth Abiola, but we trust God for a change. Thanks a lot for coming by, have a super blessed day!

  • Lalesia
    Posted at 00:08h, 20 July

    This has given me something to chew on, thank you Ugochi.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 08:29h, 22 July

      Amen Lalesia! Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed week!

  • Mandi Noel
    Posted at 21:00h, 19 July

    I’ve read several different articles on this topic, but yours is a fresh and new perspective, which I really like. My husband and I were married a year ago. I was 23, and he was 21, and although some people found it really strange, neither of us doubted that decision for a second and still don’t. I distinctly remember knowing that I was 100% ready to be married about a year before we were engaged. It was an ache and an emptiness in my heart that occurred when we were not together. I was the first of my close friends to be married, and now a few more are getting engaged. I worry about them, though, because some of them seem to want the wedding and the idea of marriage more than the man himself. Thank you for giving my girl group some good discussion material!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 08:28h, 22 July

      Praise God Mandi! I am glad you find it helpful for a discussion group! Thanks a lot for coming by, have a super blessed week!

  • Shashi
    Posted at 15:10h, 19 July

    Hi – stumbled on your blog thru SITS and this post is a very intersting read!
    Thank you – it opened up my eyes to see myself a little better

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:13h, 19 July

      I am so glad to read this, thanks a lot for coming by and leaving your thoughts, I hope you will come by again.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 20:16h, 18 July

    {Melinda} My daughter and son are teenagers, but this would be a good post for them to read … something to keep in mind for the future. 🙂

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 20:26h, 18 July

      Amen! I truly hope it would make a mark on their lives.

  • Rosey
    Posted at 19:11h, 18 July

    Marriage is so much more of a responsibility and hard work than people give credit to when they’re first starting out. We had pre-marriage counseling at the church even, and were still totally unprepared. You learn as you go, but is NOT something to be taken lightly. You’ve got some great signs up for knowing when one is not ready.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 19:20h, 18 July

      I totally agree Rosey. We must get prepared to share our lives, build ourselves up to a certain level before we can welcome someone else into our lives.There is no point taking on what we are not prepared for.