Too Busy For Love
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Too Busy For Love

husband, wife, love, nurture

Too Busy For Love

Husband drives off to work in the morning and wife goes off too, they both come home tired, too tired to talk to each other, they rush a dinner if available or take a quick shower and go straight to sleep because they have had a quick bite on their way home from work and the children are fast asleep.

Or husband goes off to work early in the morning leaving wife to run the home affairs. She cannot complain because all she needs is being provided for her or so he thinks. He works hard all day and comes home tired, but not too tired for a quick hug. However anything more would be stretching himself too far, he cannot spend one more minute or he would not be able to get enough sleep before morning… and the cycle goes on.

On some occasions the wife is very busy, her job is much more demanding and the husband cannot really complain because most of the luxury the family enjoys comes from her very generous employers and if she leaves that job, their will be a significant drop in the standard of living, and the status they have so dutifully acquired for themselves.

Life has gotten so very busy, too busy that so many husbands and wives hardly have time together. They keep hoping to make up during the weekends but family events or obligations to friends, weddings, birthdays, and all such things seem to eat deep into their weekends too.
I used to wonder sometimes, when I see couples who have lived like this and seemed not to mind, after a long time decide that the marriage is no longer working and they are not compatible. I have seen marriages of many decades crumble like a pack of cards in spite all the wealth they have at their disposal. They have allowed busyness and misplaced priorities to subtly build an invisible but very real wall between them.

Why do we get so busy pursuing money so we can drive the best, wear the best, eat the best, travel the best, and live in the best? When a more important thing; our relationship with our spouses, and even our children is being hit against the wall?

We must review our lives as husbands and wives and make all the necessary adjustments to make adequate time for one another, because our relationship with each other affects our marriage and children.

I like to enjoy all the good things of life, but what would it benefit me if my pursuance, or my spouse’s pursuance of “things” will not allow me to spend time with my spouse and nurture my marriage?

My point?  Your marriage is like a garden that needs to be tended or it will dry up. Marriages that will last are marriages that are nurtured, and nurturing does require time, deliberate time. If it requires cutting budgets, changing life styles, moving houses, changing jobs… It is worth it because joy and happiness cannot be sacrificed on the altar of materialism. Love requires time to grow and how will it grow if it is not fed or nurtured? And this responsibility lies on both man and wife.

Are you making TIME to nurture your marriage?

And the Lord God took the man(male and female created he them) and put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and guard and keep it. Genesis 2:15 Emphasis are mine

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • unyime-ivy king
    Posted at 02:00h, 19 August

    This is so true. Sometimes couples can get too busy trying to survive, and not have time for each other. One of the things my husband and I initiated, was a date night every Friday, except when one of us is not in town. It was not easy at first, as we struggled to ensure that we found the time to do it; but over time, we have come to enjoy and look forward to our Friday nights out. Sometimes, we do not go anywhere expensive. We visit with other couples, or watch a movie. At other times, we go the whole way, and go to an expensive restaurant for a meal. I tell you, it has helped us a lot with the bonding process.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 13:43h, 20 August

      Hmnnn… that is really cool. Deliberate efforts to spend time together does go a long way in marriages.

  • Esther Onimisi
    Posted at 02:01h, 07 August

    Money cannot buy time spent together in love. Like you said ma. It must be a deliberate effort to create this time. Otherwise relationships will crumble indeed like a pack of cards.
    Thank you ma for the post.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 02:59h, 07 August

      Money CANNOT! We must all do our parts, thanks for coming by ma!

  • Victoria Okuku
    Posted at 14:21h, 27 June

    It is indeed timely. I will share this message with my spouse. This is just what we need at this point. Thanks so much Ma.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 17:04h, 27 June

      Praise God ma! I am glad it was a blessing.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Michell
    Posted at 03:51h, 26 June

    Hi Ugochi! So true my friend! We run this rat race in life and neglect the very thing we’re working so hard for. Anything that is worth having is so worth working hard for. So we must work even harder to maintain those things that are most important…first and foremost, our relationship with Christ and then our families. Thanks for sharing my friend…have a blessed week!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:18h, 26 June

      It does takes a lot of hard but rewarding work Michell. Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  • john
    Posted at 23:08h, 25 June

    Do u know the meaning of the word BUSY?
    B-be U-under S-satan’s Y-yoke
    This is what the devil is using to ruin many families now, God will help us in Jesus name.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:16h, 26 June

      Amen! God will indeed open the eyes of His people.

  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 16:37h, 25 June

    {Melinda} Awesome post … I so agree, life is waaaay too busy. I’m guilty of overestimating how much I can get done in any given time and so I feel like I’m always rushing. Trying to slow it down this summer and run a family schedule instead of letting the schedule run our family.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 20:49h, 25 June

      I really like this… running a family schedule instead of letting the schedule run our family.
      Thanks for this tip Melinda.

  • Vernon
    Posted at 19:41h, 24 June

    Thanks Ugochi! Spending quality time with each other is something me and my wife make a conscience effort to do. We are well aware that the Devil like to use anything to separate what God has put together. It’s so easy to fall into his trap of being “too busy” so we must stay alert. (1 Peter 5:8) We should never get too busy for love, because God is love. GREAT POST!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:35h, 25 June

      Amen Vernon, thanks!

  • Rosey
    Posted at 23:21h, 24 June

    Marriages and families too. I love your post.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:36h, 25 June

      Thanks Rosey!

  • Joanna Elizabeth
    Posted at 20:02h, 24 June

    What a helpful post! I am constantly reminding myself to keep my priorities in order and take time to just be with my husband! Thank you for the reminder!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:35h, 25 June

      Great way to go about it Joanna, thanks for coming by.

  • Beth
    Posted at 15:34h, 24 June

    I agree, Ugochi, but I also think this can happen to the couple who don’t make “materialism” their focus. I know that my husband and I struggle to give each other the time, attention and affection we should each day and it’s not because we have high paying jobs. We just both go full-throttle at whatever we’re doing during the day and when we are home together, it’s easy to just barely nod at each other and flop into our bed at night! But we don’t want to give in to what’s “easy.” So this is a great reminder and challenge to stay connected and focused on each other. It really does make a difference! Thanks so much for the gentle nudge!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:34h, 25 June

      It is true Beth, busying about any other thing could cause it too. Thanks for coming by!

    • Daisy Grau
      Posted at 05:22h, 26 June

      Beth. I completely agree. My husband and I are minimalists also and strong willed in anything we try to do. We have a wonderful relationship that is full of flavor and fun. BUT getting time alone is so difficult because we also have our own business, three kids we home school and a household to run. We try very hard to get the little bit of time we do have together. We are both college educated professionals that could potentially bring home a very comfortable joint income. We choose a minimal lifestyle to enjoy the heaps of treasure that is our family.