Growing up in secondary school (middle/high school), I have seen a lot of battle with words, the few months I spent living in exposed even more intense word battles to me. These battles almost hardly came to an end until it got physical because each person involved wanted to have the last word. These battles always got me really scared; I disliked confrontations, exchange of words and much more, physical fights. I hate to be beaten, though I got one… You can read about it here.
I have come to know that in marriage as in any other relationship arguments get intense and result to hateful batter of words because both husband and wife wants the war to end on their notes, they always want to have the final word. Pride is the culprit, meekness and humility would have no such disparaging desire, and they would rather let it go.
Husbands think, “I am the head of this home and I should not let her have the final word, or she would ride on it!”
Wives think, “If I let him have the last word he will not cease to trample on me, I must have my say!”
Neither of the two thoughts makes it right; couples should learnt to talk to each other with respect and give listening ears too, they both have their parts…
A few times I have managed to let go and swallowed my words because I thought of the effects they could have (even though I was raging inside in spite of the calm I tried to maintain outside) and I saw the positivism in it. So I am trusting God as I yield myself to His training to know when to stop… or whether not to speak at all.
At other times I have blabbed on without thinking and have experienced the hurt it brings (not pleasant at all).
If every husband and every wife trains themselves (yes it does require a lot of training, by the help of God’s Word and His Holy Spirit), to not desire to have the last word on issues in their marriage, to listen more than speak, to give their spouses opportunities and security to speak, I believe there would be less arguments and more intelligent, mature and benefiting discussions in our homes.
Love…is patient and kind… It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly)…. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking 1Corinthians 13:4,5 AMP
It might look like you are a fool, you might even “feel” foolish, but God’s ways do not make sense to our feelings, but its rewards cannot be calculated.
Do you always desire to have the last word in your marriage, what results did it produced? Are you willing to get in training with The Holy Spirit so you can learn to let the desire go?
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