His Wife, Her Husband - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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His Wife, Her Husband

single, married, teshuva

His Wife, Her Husband

It was not news for me when I heard it; instead it was shocking because it came from someone I never imagined would be involved in such a messy affair. He was a Christian, single, had a “steady” he planned to marry, yet was having an illicit affair with some woman who was married in the same city where he lived. He (not mentioning names, could be anybody, many have come to report) came to my husband because he wanted out with the married woman so he could focus on his studies and pay the much-needed attention to his girlfriend.

The woman asked him out and showered him with gifts, (he didn’t have much); A comfy accommodation, clothes, school fees and many more, and he paid by spending weekends with her in a hotel whenever her husband travels and that was most weekends. He is afraid to tell her he wants out, he does not know what her reaction would be because she had “invested” so much in him. He was sure she would do something drastic, he was afraid for his life, that of his girlfriend and his future, would he be able to maintain his current standard of life?

Like I said, I know these things happen, married women go for “younger” and “fresher” boys and the married men do the same with single ladies. But it is not supposed to be so among Christians because it is written in clear terms that we should not commit adultery.

As a single Christian man or woman, you should take to your heels from anyone married person who wants to relate with you sexually. Ask your self, “Will I be able to take this from the person I will marry in future?” Also ask, “How can I do this against God?” Like Joseph asked when Potiphar’s wife wanted him in bed with her. Genesis 39 Any married man or woman that comes to you with sexual demands is a tool in the hands of the enemy; it is an effort to make you sow a wrong seed that you will not enjoy reaping in future and incurring God’s wrath.

Growing into adulthood, before I even became a Christian, when married men made overtures at me, the thought that always flooded my mind was my own marriage. When I get married, would I be able to stand infidelity? And I also thought of their wives and children and the thought of what adverse effects it could have on them broke my heart too much to want to do it.

Please do not fall for the pressure of a short lived pleasure, do not allow any person cause you to sow wrong seeds into your feature and most importantly, do not do any wickedness and sin against your God. Wait until you get married to your own wife or husband, you will not regret waiting in obedience. And remember, what goes around does come around .

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7

Have you ever been hassled by a married person now as a single or before you got married? How did you react?

© Ugochi-jolomi.com 2013





Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Dynamix Kallon
    Posted at 02:31h, 07 September

    What is courtship all about? And how can a relationship be blessed.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 14:24h, 19 September

      Courtship is the moment between proposal and marriage. A relationship can be blessed by following God’s word.

  • Phillip michael
    Posted at 23:04h, 24 June

    It is only by his grace. I am facing something like this now although I’m a single man. Some time last year I needed an office for my business and I have told people to look for a space for me to run my computer training school program. The head mistress of the school where I lecture computer science (twice a week), said to me, ” oh mike don’t worry I will give you a space and as time goes on you can pay the rent.” I was very glad thanking God for such a big favour. Not less than 3months after, she was asking me out,I was in a great shock because this is someone I thought was Godly, for God sake she is married with three kids I felt so bad and I knew if I don’t accept her offer it will cost me a lot, she might terminate our agreement as well as send me out of the building with some other benefits. But I decided to turn off her offer with wisdom and humility. Later on about 2months I realized she was 4months pregnant you know what that means in yoruba land? Its an abomination to God and also to my culture but I never knew she was pregnant when I rejected her offer. As I am writing now I’ve been told to live the building by ending of July. I have a very strong faith in God that he will make a way for me. I thank God so much for not allowing me make the greatest mistake of my life. I thank God for his grace. God bless you.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 20:51h, 25 June

      Praise God for you sir!!! God always honours us when we honour Him and His word above all others. He will indeed make a way for you. Keep your faith alive!

  • Christy, Home-Mom
    Posted at 15:33h, 23 June

    I’ve not dealt with this personally but see it everywhere, what a way to live. Not that I’m above those who make these mistakes bc I’m not. I just hate to see those I love in marriages that aren’t what they’re meant to be, fun, exciting, loving even. God loves his children and wants the best for us and yet some Christians (people in general) settle for sooo much less.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:02h, 23 June

      So sad how we settle for less. My prayer is that our single folks should learn not to fal victim to married people who want to defile their marriages. Thanks a lot for coming by and have a super blessed week ahead!

  • Becca
    Posted at 23:35h, 22 June

    I can’t say I have been, but I have seen it out there. It’s a sad sight. I really like the example of Joseph! To RUN away from it.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 07:38h, 23 June

      I agree completely with you Becca! We all ought to flee every appearance of evil.

  • John
    Posted at 21:24h, 22 June

    I was almost used by a married lady like this when I was young, but God led me to read proverb 7 where he said she lied in wait to take to a sluather house I had to run. And today am married and I thank God for not allowing me do such thing.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 07:43h, 23 June

      Amen bro! Thank God for His word that heals us and delivers us from destruction.

  • C. Michelle Ramsey
    Posted at 01:31h, 21 June

    I have never experienced this situation personally, but I have known others who have. In the end they lost respect for themselves, because they did not adhere to their personal values and morals. They also realized the persons they were involved with did not care about them or their future. I have also had friends who have been impacted by these type actions, and it is so sad to see a marriage ruined over the sins of the flesh.

    I really enjoy your posts, you do a wonderful job of encouraging and inspiring your readers. Keep it up.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 13:05h, 21 June

      Very sad indeed. The sins of the flesh always seek to ruin. Thanks a lot for your encouragement Michelle, do have a super blessed weekend!

  • Heather
    Posted at 01:17h, 21 June

    You know its funny you write this. In many churches, the infidelity is a minor problem men need to work out, but if a woman wants a divorce from that infidelity, that is unforgivable. That’s what happened to me. My church eager to forgive him, but not me for seeking a divorce. While I realize both are sins, being a Christian, I was heartbroken at how I was treated when my Ex decided to continue his affair and not go to marriage counseling with me, but it was me who was ostracized for deciding not to put up with it. Anyway I am remarried with two beautiful kids, and he is still trying to be the drunk on the weekends college student. Thankfully a new church has helped me to realize I am forgiven for my sins, but it was hard for me being a Christian and getting a divorce.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 08:55h, 22 June

      Sorry about this Heather, I am glad you have moved on. While I meant to speak to singles concerning avoiding being used to defile people’s marriages, I just realized that the married will also be spoken to by this. Please do forgive the Church, they probably didn’t know better at the time.
      Thanks a lot for coming by, do have a super blessed weekend!