The Car Door - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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The Car Door

car door, man, wife, husband

The Car Door

car door, man, wife, husband

Something happened some couple of years ago when a couple came visiting us. My husband saw them as they drove through the gate and when they parked, he saw the man come out of the car, go round, hold the car door open for his wife.
My husband was so pleased to see that, in fact, he was so pleased and as I would get to know later, he thought to himself that he would like to that for his wife… that’s me. Now don’t ask if he kept up to it.
That was on a Saturday, the following morning in Church he challenged the men to be gentle men and treat their wives like a ladies, using the couple and the car door as an example.

I know a woman who puts everything she is doing on hold to receive her husband as he gets home from the office. She stops even a telephone conversation and tells the person on the other line something like “Please let’s talk later my husband just got in and needs my attention.”
When I heard this I told myself it was such a great thing to do. I told myself I was going to practice that in Honour to God and my husband. Please do not ask if I remembered to do it at all…

The very popular scriptures in Ephesians 5:21-29 say the man should love his wife like the Church and the woman to submit to her husband as unto The Lord.

The husband is to give himself for his wife, to love, care for and cherish her. To lay down his pride, ego and all that he is and treat her like he would treat a priceless gift because that is what a wife is.
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

For some, opening car doors (whether good or bad) might be part of it. In West Africa where I live, it is not common practice but it is not a bad idea at all.
Husbands should follow Christ’s examples of care, nuture, and protection of His Bride, The Church. That is what Ephesians 5 implies.

The wife is to submit to her husband as unto The Lord, in love. She should submit to and reverence her husband. I found a scripture that gives us details of what this means:
1 Peter 3:2 AMP
…you are to feel for him (your husband) all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband.

For the wives honoring would involve giving your husband full attention whenever it is demanded, including putting all other things on hold to welcome him home.

Most of us know these verses of Ephesians 5 very well, in fact we can quote them from our Hearts and minds but we should actually get round to putting them in practice. For the blessing comes from actually doing the word, not from merely knowing the word.

Disobedience has some of its root in pride.

Most husbands find it difficult to serve their wives, serving here is not meant as a servant but to render assistance to her.
While some wives think it is condescending to submit to their husbands in all things as God requires. They are afraid they might be trampled on or taken for granted.
Truth however is that when we obey God in this regard irrespective of whether it is appreciated or reciprocated to by our spouse or not, we please God’s heart and that really is all that counts.

I know it is especially difficult for those who have unbelieving spouses but your obedience can turn things around.

Just for laughs; after service, the man I talked about in the beginning told my husband that his gentlemanly act the previous day at our house was because the car door was bad and could only be opened from outside. I bet you are laughing right now; we all had a good laugh as well.

But seriously, couples need to really get down to loving and serving (rendering assistance to) one another. Love, if only professed without being displayed does not make any impact.

Or what do you think?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Stan Butler
    Posted at 16:01h, 11 May

    Showing love and respect to the other spouse should be a “given” in any Christian marriage.

    I write a blog which I have entitled “Accordingtothebook” and I’d like to invite you to follow it.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:40h, 11 May

      It should be a given, God help us make it so! Thanks a lot for coming by, do have a super blessed weekend!

  • Kendra @ AProverbs 31 Wife
    Posted at 21:58h, 10 May

    I love this post Ugochi!

    Jason used to open doors for me, but that stopped before we even got married lol.
    One thing for sure though, I’m just as guilty of ignoring him when he walks in the door. Many times, I stay back at the computer, trying to finish up that last little thing that needs done rather than going to the door.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:39h, 11 May

      Lol Kendra! Thanks a lot for coming by, have a super blessed weekend!

  • Honeybee
    Posted at 16:06h, 10 May

    I laugh when I read this. An accidental gentleman act. Yes, I believe when husband and wife delight in the love and company, take pleasure in each other, it helps them with ease to do their work, and bear their burdens. This is a major part of the comfort of marriage. Nice post.


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:36h, 11 May

      Thanks Honeybee, I appreciate your coming by. Do have a super blessed weekend!

  • Howard Odigie
    Posted at 12:30h, 10 May

    As usual, what a beautiful post this is. The explanation of the “gentleman” husband as to why he did a 360 or could it be 180 degree walk round the car to open the door for the wife was really deflating for me. I just wish we know what is required of us in marriage or relationship and do it or try working on doing it. the enemy looks for the slightest foothold or crack to do his work. When we offer him none he is powerless. We need God’s grace to deal in this area as in others.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:35h, 11 May

      Oh how I pray that we all offer him not foothold! Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this encouragement. Do have a suer blessed weekend!

  • Michelle
    Posted at 18:51h, 08 May

    What a lovely post. I am sure most of us could take it more to heart and do more for our husbands. I am going to try to be better about doing more for him…I really liked reading this…it’s not that I don’t want to, but I don’t necessarily think about it. I had to laugh about the car door thing though!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:18h, 08 May

      We laughed hard too, it was too funny. But there were some things I learnt from it.
      Thanks for coming by Michelle!

  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 16:05h, 08 May

    {Melinda} I love this. I’ve been trying to do more of this with my husband — show him my attention and respect even in just little ways. It’s amazing how much of a positive impact it has! Love all your marriage posts. Such great advice!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:16h, 08 May

      Me too! Been trying but I need to try harder. Thanks a lot Melinda, your comments are always encouraging. Do have a super blessed day!

  • Hope
    Posted at 17:15h, 07 May

    Ok. I did laugh out loud when I read the reason why the man opened the When my hubby and I were dating, he ALWAYS opened the door for me (except when I mas mad at him and wouldn’t let him). One of the reasons I fell in love with him. He was such a gentleman. After 8 years of marriage (today, btw), he only remember’s to open the door if he sees someone else do it (which is rare).
    I always say love is action. Great post!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 20:10h, 07 May

      Lol! I can imagine your laughter, we laughed long and hard too when he said that. And I laughed too at the concluding part of your comment. Thanks a lot for coming by sister. Daily we grow in God and His love.

  • Vernon
    Posted at 00:42h, 07 May

    NICE! The home should be a place where love and mutual respect are shown. The best way for me to serve my wife is by serving God. My pride almost killed our relationship because of the lies it told me about life, myself and family. With God’s help I reexamined my life to what is true. It’s post like these that reminds me that rebuilding family relationships is one of the most important tasks I can face in life. THANKS

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:49h, 07 May

      Pride is a Killer! And in truth, serving God is the best way to learn how to serve our spouses effectively… Thanks a lot Vernon for coming by and leaving this insightful comment. Do have a super blessed day!

  • Lori
    Posted at 00:03h, 07 May

    Ugochi, whenever I’m tempted to be prideful and resentful about serving my husband, the Holy Spirit brings to mind the picture of Christ, the Creator of the Universe, powerful enough to call the world into being, kneeling before his disciples and washing their dirty, nasty, smelly feet. If God could do that for them as an example for me, who am I to complain about serving my sweet husband in small matters? Shame on me! Thank you for a thought-provoking post. I’m visiting from Hungry for God; Starving for Time and glad I did today 🙂

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:46h, 07 May

      I think I will like you hold this thought anytime I am feeling like “not serving” my husband. Thanks a lot for coming by, I appreciate your comment!

  • Beth
    Posted at 15:57h, 06 May

    I wholeheartedly agree, Ugochi. And whenever I’m struggling to submit or give to my husband, I try to remind myself that God will protect me from any harm when I’m obedient to Him first. This is something that God is trying to teach me lately. God has shown me how little my faith is in Him, so how can I have faith in my husband and submit to him? It’s a work in progress and your words here are another reminder that I’m listening to and remembering! By the way, I hope your hubby still opens the door for you! 😉

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 17:26h, 06 May

      Lol! He is still planing on it and I am expectant! But he does show his care in ways other than that. We all do need to allow faith in our hearts to trust God to take care of us while we obey Him. I am learning this too.
      Thanks a lot for coming by Beth, do have a super blessed day!

  • Sykik
    Posted at 14:16h, 06 May

    I was greatly ministered to by this post especially the part where you mentioned that when we do the word, we please God irrespective of whether our spouse appreciates it or not.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:17h, 06 May

      Amen Sykik! I am very grateful to read this, thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this encouragement, do have a super blessed day!

  • Onyinyechi Isaiah Sam-Amaga
    Posted at 14:16h, 06 May

    Wow! Dis is lovely and insightful. Its really incredible wen we see couples finding it difficult to render assistance to themselves-but ve learnt dat doing so makes u both more friendly and affectionate to each other. besides, who else shud we show dis love, care and assistance if not our spouses? Deres no big deal about dis but d devil tries to make us see it as difficult, especially by showing and magnifying our spouses weaknesses therby causing tension in our relationship. But thank God for His. Love is shared abroad In our hearts.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:15h, 06 May

      It definitely does increase friendship and affection. We can only pray that God opens our eyes to the realisation that the devil has no good in mind for us. Thanks a lot for coming by Onyi, I hope you will come by often. Do have a super blessed day!

  • Abiola
    Posted at 12:42h, 06 May

    Nice post and blog.

    I am with you completely on couples loving and serving one another but I think pride is the main culprit that keeps getting in the way.

    I picked one vital tip from this post and that came from the example of the woman who would put everything on hold whenever the husband enters.

    (Knowing Nigerian men, the very same thought occurred to me as I read about the man opening the car door for his wife. How right I was!)

    God help us all to build healthy christian homes as we live exemplarily showing forth His light to the world.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:12h, 06 May

      Amen Abiola, amen! Pride must go and we pray that happens for all couples.
      Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!