Partnering With God For Your Spouse's Salvation - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Partnering With God For Your Spouse’s Salvation


Partnering With God For Your Spouse’s Salvation

When a spouse gets saved after marriage it can cause very severe strain on both couples, especially the one that believe in God.
It is easy for the believing spouse to mount pressure on the other in a bid to “make” them give their lives to God. But unfortunately in many cases the more pressure is mounted, the angrier they can get and the further it can drive them from God or wanting to have anything to do with Him.
I want to share some ways the believing spouse can partner with God to work His work in the heart of their spouse and bring them to the foot of the cross.

1. Nagging Cannot Cut It- You cannot nag anyone into falling in love with Christ. It has to come of their own volition, other wise they might end up doing an outward show of religion without an inward repentance. They might go through the motions with you to either make you happy or make you stop bothering them or both. You can repel your spouse when you go on and on…

In a multitude of words transgression is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is prudent. Proverbs 10:19 (AMP)

2. Show Them Christ- Show them what Christ looked like when He walked the earth. Show them by your lifestyle what it means to be a follower of Christ. Show them what it means to be light in a dark and gloomy world. No matter how much you preach at to them, your words won’t hit home for them if they do not see you any different than them. If you talk and act like them, if you curse and get angry like them, listen to the same kinds of ungodly music and dance the same kind of sensual dance… Need I say more? When you live the exemplary life of Christ, you send them stronger and more soul penetrating messages than when you keep nagging them about how lost they are. So focus on working on yourself to be more Christ-like.

Pattern yourselves after me [follow my example], as I imitate and follow Christ (the Messiah). 1 Corinthians 11:1

3. Love Them – I almost lumped love up with number two because love actually is the foundational mark of a believer, a follower of Christ. John 13: 35  But I needed to separate it in order to be able to touch on some things surrounding it. When you show genuine love, care, concern and affection for a spouse who does not know Christ, you have already given God the partnership He needs to change the heart of your spouse. God cannot do anything outside an environment of love, so when you love your spouse like the Bible commands; you give God the right atmosphere to perform a miracle. Remember that God’s commandment of love is not predicated on whether your spouse is a believer or not. So love your spouse unconditionally and make your home easy for God to work in.

I remember the story of how a spouse was loved out of adultery, no confrontations, no denials, no nags, and no show of suspicions. Just love and prayers caused a change of heart. It is difficult I must say, but when you know the solution to a problem and you really want that problem solved, you will work the solution irrespective of how difficult it is.
Remember, difficult does not connote impossible and that love always wins. 1Corinthians 13:8

4. Don’t Put Up A “Holier Than Thou” Attitude- No body will respond to anybody who puts up the holier-than-thou attitude (That is PRIDE). You do not have to always sniff at your spouse when they are doing something wrong. You do not have to remind them how they will burn in hell while you are in heaven. Truth is, most people already know they are sinners, but when you go through the “condemnation” approach, you make them loathe you and many times, they rebel.

Agreed, they are responsible for there choices, but you must make your self a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block to their salvation. And you this by humbling yourself in your eyes and before God instead of “showing off” your “righteous” self.
Always remember that you were once like them and with the right approach share your testimony with them in humility and with the right tone of voice, let them know you were once like them if not worse, but how receiving God’s love and mercy made the difference.

When swelling and pride come, then emptiness and shame come also, but with the humble (those who are lowly, who have been pruned or chiseled by trial, and renounce self) are skillful and godly Wisdom and soundness. Proverbs 11:2

5. Do Not Lose Faith- You must keep believing God for their salvation, I have heard of people who believed for decades before their spouses came to accept the salvation Jesus offers, I am not saying you have to wait that long but however long it does take, keep your faith alive. At this time, your faith in God is very key to the salvation of your spouse since you are the one who has a right standing with God.

…For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind. For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord, James 1:6-7

6. Pray Earnestly- Let your love and compassion for your spouse be your motive for praying for their salvation rather than your desire to have them sit by you in Church and give you peace at home. Pray for them because of them not just because of you, making your motive selfishness rather than compassion. Let your motive for prayer be the desire for your spouse to escape eternal condemnation, pray for them knowing that if they do not get saved, they would burn and let your love for them and your desire for them to escape hell propel you to pray that fervent prayer that will touch the very heart of God.

Keep destroying every seed of sin operating in their lives and keep prophesying over their lives, calling them saved and sanctified of The Lord.

The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]. James 5:16

7. Sow Covenant Seeds- Enter into covenant with God for your spouse. Take up a particular service in God’s kingdom that you would tie to the salvation of your spouse, or a certain amount of money or gift as a covenant seed of faith, thanking God for the salvation of your spouse. Seeds of faith do move God’s heart when they are actually seeds of faith. You are saying, “Lord I thank you because you have done it” not just because you heard someone say it, but because you trust God enough to thank Him ahead of the fulfilment of His promise. It is just one way to put actions to your faith.

So also faith, if it does not have works (deeds and actions of obedience to back it up), by itself is destitute of power (inoperative, dead). James 2:17

I have an idea of how difficult it can be to be married to an unbelieving spouse, and I know all I have written above is very difficult to pursue but I know above all these that God needs you to agree with Him not by mere profession but by aligning yourself to His word in order for Him to be able to come into your home and visit your spouse.

Do you know anyone who this article could help? Please go ahead and share it and also leave your thoughts on this in the comment box below. 

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Deola
    Posted at 09:34h, 16 May

    Dis article is a blessing.. Thanks ma’am.. I dint only link this to a spouse but also siblings,aunts/uncles/grandparents/friends etc who have either lost d track or don’t actually believe in God.. One of d things I learnt frm dis article is praying earnestly n have seen it work though once in a while the devil may paint pictures to make it look like my prayer for this person aint working but I still see d Lord, prayer has built my family.. I love them n can’t trade them for another family because I knw d Love of God @ work in my family even tru d storms. May He grant unto us tender hearts so that we may keep believing and trusting Him until He wroughts salvation unto mens’ heart(women n children inclusive). God kp u faithful till the end ma in Jesus name.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 23:00h, 18 May

      Great lessons here Deola, and amen to your prayers. Thanks a lot for coming by!

  • Heather
    Posted at 15:42h, 15 May

    This sort of division is heartbreaking. I think that understanding true faith is the hardest part of christianity. You can believe in God and that Jesus died for our sins but overcoming the daily obstacle of keeping faith is difficult. My mother in law is very, very sick and both my father in law and brother in law have given up on God. A family once deeply involved in the church and full of faith now question the existence of God. I feel that if my mother in law was aware of this she would be heart broken.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:56h, 15 May

      Oh Heather! This is such a sad place to be I must agree, I have been there several times and I have to always think on God’s goodness, mercy and faithfulness and His unchanging nature to help me keep believing and keep trusting.
      I think all we can do for your father-in-law and brother-in-law right now is to pray and keep asking God to reveal Himself afresh to them, and for a miracle for your mother-in-law.
      I will keep your family in my prayers Heather, please do all you can to stand strong.

  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 15:07h, 14 May

    {Melinda} I have two friends who had unbelieving spouses and followed much of your advice — and both men prayed to receive Christ! It was not easy as they prayed and waited, but so worth it for them and their families.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:10h, 14 May

      The wait is by no means easy Melinda, but I am happy they persevered till they saw the result.
      Thanks for coming by, I am so glad to hear this testimony, I am sure it will encourage another reader to let them know that it can happen!
      Have a super blessed week!