When couples get caught in the heat of an argument, and allow anger to fly off the handle, there is very high tendencies that the tongue would set off very strong and heart wrenching words and if left any longer without caution from one or both spouses, words that can cause serious damage to the relationship will be let out because in anger there is no wisdom and in foolishness, thoughts are neither right nor coordinated and immediate gratification without thoughts of consequence is in play.
When anger is encouraged by one or both spouses, angry and battering words ensue and the damages done by those words most times take a painfully long time to deal with, that is, if the couple will be willing to deal with them.
Below are some of the words I have come to know hurt couples, words they tend to hold on to, words they seem to remember and recount at different occasions.
- I told you so, (Especially with an attitude)
- You are irritating
- I wish I never met you
- You are such a fool
- So and so (my ex) would never do a thing like that
- I cannot forgive you for this one
- Your family sucks
- Why can’t you be like that woman or that man?
- My life was better without you
- 10. You have brought me nothing but misery
- I want a divorce
- You need to go learn how to treat your spouse (with an attitude)
- Your parents didn’t raise you right, that’s why you behave so badly towards me
- Your parents didn’t model a good marriage to you, no wonder we have to go through all of this
- What will you ever do right in your life?
- You are the greatest mistake I have ever made in life
- I hate you
- I should have listened better to God, I am sure He didn’t want me to marry you
- When will you grow up to your responsibilities in this home?
- Don’t touch me with those filthy sorry hands of yours!
- You will not amount to much
- Shut your dirty mouth
The words above and many more can cause irreparable damages to marriages. Hurtful words can affect the self-esteem of a couple and leave them feeling broken and unworthy, angry and revenge seeking. No body will be able to live successfully and happily with a broken or crushed person.
A wise man or woman who senses tempers flaring could just “remember something” and dash off to another room or suddenly “feel pressed” and ask to use the toilet, say a quick prayer while in there, spend a “little” time, flush the toilet and generally make an attempt to douse the angry atmosphere in order to avoid a clash of words.
Couples should learn to talk over issues in a calm and understanding manner. Reminding themselves that they are trying to find a solution to and not compound the problems.Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Proverbs 12:18 (AMP) There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 15:4 (AMP) A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life, but willful contrariness in it breaks down the spirit. James 1:19 Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.
I know my list is inexhaustible, what would you add?
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