TOO ANGRY TO ASK - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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I was too angry to ask for help from my husband


I was too angry to ask for help from my husband

This morning I dissed the devil big time!

I had to go down to the kitchen with my sleeve buttons undone because I could sense the “I gotta-go-now” spirit in my husband and was hoping not to give it a voice today.
I needed to get lunch ready and packed before we left for work, so button undone, shoes in hand I went to the kitchen and while I was waiting for the food to get a bit heated up I tried to fix my buttons.
It was a big struggle, there are eight of them, of course with four on each sleeve and after about ninety seconds I managed to fix just one.
My husband stood there watching me (or so I thought) struggle to fix them buttons. And next thing I know, he walks away while I stood there struggling.
And then God told me that I could just ask him.
“No!” I replied, “I can do this. If he wanted to help he would have.”
So struggle, struggle, struggle…
I tried and tried and tried… But I could not fix any more than the one I had done.
… Finally, I went to him and said in a very nice tone (trying not to sound angry or unhappy that he didn’t offer to help)
“Honey please help me button my sleeves”
And while he started I said out loud mostly to my self, “Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened…” I actually laughed silently at myself as I said those words, imagining what a fail it would have been if I had chosen to get angry.
And my husband trying to concur says something like, “We are the favoured of God, we ask and he answers…” I cannot quite remember all he said.

He was completely clueless as to what had happened, what I was thinking, or the brief conversation I had with God.
I have not asked him as I write whether or not he noticed my struggle or whether or not he gave it a thought.
But I was very happy that I didn’t give in to the suggestion of the enemy by getting upset and raising dust over nothing.
How many times do we imagine, assume and conclude in anger and spoil our emotions and marriages over little nothings? How many times do we fuss over things we should over look so that we maintain peace and harmony in our marriages and homes even when God tells us exactly what to do?
All I needed to do was just ask and I wouldn’t have wasted precious time and energy struggling to fix my buttons, when help was just round the corner, waiting for my asking.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: Matthew 7:7(KJV)

Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself—it tends only to evildoing. Psalm 37:8 (AMP)

I have failed this test several times before, so I am pretty excited that I dissed the devil this time and went against and over him.

Have you ever been here? How did it turn out for you?

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Unyime-Ivy King
    Posted at 21:56h, 01 May

    Hmm, it is so calming to realize that I am not the only wife who struggles with assumptions, and unrealistically expecting my husband to become a mind reader. I have also learned to say what I want/ask for help when I need it. I fully identified with this post and over time, as I have grown in my marriage, my husband has also taught me to speak out when I need help by constantly reminding me to ‘say what I really want and not go round in circles.’
    It’s been a tough lesson to learn. Some days, I fail the test, some days, I diss the devil. Thank God for His grace which continually enables us to do right., God bless you for this post.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 09:13h, 02 May

      Amen! Glad to know I am not alone too!
      …‘say what I really want and not go round in circles.’ This made me laugh out loud! I intend to say it to myself over and again when I start thinking “he does not want to help”. Thanks a lot for coming by.

  • Hope
    Posted at 00:56h, 24 April

    Boy have I been there Ugochi…and I still have my days. I guess he’s (or whomever) is supposed to read our minds. God is a mind reader and He still wants us to ask. This is a great nugget to remember. I love this post. S.eek K.nock

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:24h, 24 April

      I am learning to humble myself and as Hope. Like you said, even God who knows all still wants us to ask…
      Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed day!

  • Kendra @ AProverbs 31 Wife
    Posted at 16:14h, 23 April

    yup, I too have had to learn to ask. While men may not be clueless, they are far less in tune with how we feel than we are with them!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:56h, 23 April

      I agree kay. We need to learn to ask, otherwise it becomes of two wrongs…
      Definitely does not make right!

  • Andrea
    Posted at 15:00h, 23 April

    I can be very stubborn when I think my husband should be doing something that I did not even ask him to do and he didn’t read my mind. I suppose it’s a matter of humbling myself.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:44h, 23 April

      Yes it is, we often think they should “know” our minds instead of telling them what we want… we do need to be humble before God and our husbands.

  • ebiichyke
    Posted at 18:16h, 23 April

    You don’t know how many times I have spoilt the mood in my house for things like this but I am. Learning every day that these men are different from us and will never hurt us intentionally

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 19:49h, 23 April

      You are so right my sister, they are so different, we have to know this and deal with them in patience.

  • Joann
    Posted at 12:04h, 23 April

    Do you mean they cannot read our minds? I knew there was a problem. Love you Ugochi.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 14:19h, 23 April

      Oh yes Mum Joan! I wonder why we expect them to read our minds, when we can make life simple by just telling them, lol!
      Thanks a lot for coming by, I love you more!

  • Kathleen Caron
    Posted at 11:29h, 23 April

    Very true, especially because men can be rather clueless about how sensitive their wives are, not even noticing that something is going on. You took the high road, good for you!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:55h, 23 April

      Yes indeed! They expect you to say what you want instead of just expecting it. Sometimes very annoying for us as we expect them to just “know” certain things.
      How ever, I am so glad I didn’t fail…
      Thanks for coming by today, have a super blessed day!

  • Lahyorz
    Posted at 16:29h, 23 April

    Congratulations, Ugochi! I am sure that heaven does not only rejoice over each sinner saved but also when the saved overcome sin ;-)) It takes a lot to resist such temptations but it is always worth the effort because God smiles down on us with a wonderful sense of pride thinking – “That’s my child in whom I am well pleased!”

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:59h, 23 April

      Praise God Layhorz, I was so excited I must say! To know that I did what God would have me do even after minutes of hesitance.

  • Anna Popescu
    Posted at 15:27h, 23 April

    Ugochi, I think all humans are prone to think they need no one to help them. “I got this!” is our mantra.

    As a former Type A “do-er,” I still struggle with this because there is so much I can no longer accomplish due to chronic pain illnesses, and when my hubby asks if he can help me with something, my first instinct is to rely on myself. However, the Lord has taught me that when I *am* able to do whatever by myself, to say to my hubby when he offers to help me, “No, I can do this, but thank you for offering to help.”

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:55h, 23 April

      Great lesson you just shared here Anna.
      I will remember this, and I pray God’s healing hands rest on you.
      Thanks a lot for coming and sharing with us here, have a super blessed day!

  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 15:25h, 23 April

    {Melinda} I have been so guilty of jumping to conclusions and choosing to be wounded with both my husband and my children. You are so right. It makes a mess of everything. It feels so much better to diss the devil!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:53h, 23 April

      I am guilty too, and it does make a lot of mess.
      But Yes!!! For dissing the devil!
      Thanks a lot for coming by.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Chioma
    Posted at 14:37h, 23 April

    Lolz! And I was already getting angry on your behalf that he was that insensitive! Thank God I read it to the end…
    It’s really amazing how so very easy it is to get offended over nothing. I pray I remember this piece, when next I am faced with “little nothings”.
    Thanks for sharing this, God bless you.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 14:53h, 23 April

      Lolol!!! Thank God you read to the end my sister…
      Anger can lead to hasty conclusions and faulty judgements. Thank God we know better.
      Thanks s lot for coming by and leaving your thoughts, I hope you will come by often.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Uzo
    Posted at 10:28h, 23 April

    Too angry to ask, is a beautiful write up. I have been there and I have learnt to ask

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:27h, 23 April

      I am glad you find it beautiful, thanks for stopping by.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Meredith
    Posted at 01:54h, 23 April

    I like this little button illustration! It’s the little things, huh? Glad you didn’t cave in to your emotions.


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:26h, 23 April

      Yes! The little things. I am glad I didn’t too!
      Thanks a lot for coming by, have a super blessed day!