FROM A DISTANCE - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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FROM A DISTANCE

08 Apr FROM A DISTANCE

Posted at 17:33h in Married Circle by
0 Likes

Few years ago, someone tried to convince a friend of mine to move to another country with her children while her husband remains in their home country to face his job. She told her that life and living is so much easier and much more comfortable in this suggested country. “Why suffer there, when you can have so much comfort over here?” She asked.

I have never liked married couples living apart from each other. I have never understood how they are able to keep the marriage going in earnest and how they are able to really make up the times the spent apart. I have also wondered if they understood how this could affect their children and how they (the children) are able to get the much-needed contributions in their lives from both parents.

But other than some of these peculiarities and on a very temporal basis too, I really do not believe in couples living apart from each other. Whether we know it or not it cannot be the same as living together and seeing each other every day. I agree that not every couple that live together is closely knit, but living together as couple does to a very large extent foster love and unity. It also helps training our children in a healthy balance.  Though I am not an expert in psychology I know that there are some psychological implications on children whose parents do not really live together.

It baffles my some what traditional marriage mind when I hear couples deciding to live in different states or countries, when in truth they can make very necessary adjustments in order to keep their families living together in one house, state and country. So many times when we allow this distance we give room for the enemy and the Bible advices us that we should: “Neither give place to the devil” Ephesians 4:27

Marriage from a distance I know truly does create some distance between the couple, so many times this is very subtle, but with time the effects become glaring.

What do you think about marriage from a distance? Please share your thoughts…

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
teshuva7@gmail.com

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

10 Comments
  • Rosey
    Posted at 16:10h, 11 April

    My thoughts are that family should be together when at all possible, period. I do know there are instances that make that impossible (a sick parent, or something else as grave) but for the most part… staying together wins out in my book. This was an interesting post to find!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 19:39h, 11 April

      It wins out in mine too Rosey.
      Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving your thoughts.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 21:41h, 09 April

    {Melinda} I know that sometimes it is a reality, but I find that even though my husband and I live in the same house, it takes real effort to stay connected and on the same page with the kids. I think too much distance can really lead to distance emotionally and temptations.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:42h, 10 April

      I agree Melinda. It takes effort even in the same house how much more…
      I just pray very minimal couples would have to marry from a distance.
      Thanks a lot for coming by, I appreciate you.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • aloted
    Posted at 13:33h, 09 April

    hmm i see what you mean but sometimes life isnt black or white. i think the most important thing is that both husband and wife know what their goal is as a couple and not to make living apart a permanent solution.

    in my case my dad had a job in another country for 7 years but everyone knew it wasn’t permanent. he came home once a year and we went over during the long holidays… maybe my parents case is different but it was their reality and they made it work..

    but i totally hear u and see where you are coming from .

    being a min i was here 🙂

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:59h, 09 April

      I understand that very well, but like I said, I will always hope it does not have to be permanent. Thanks a lot for coming by Teshuva today, have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Michelle
    Posted at 14:04h, 09 April

    Personally I think it would be very hard on the couple and their children. When I was growing up, my dad travelled extensively for work, and wasn’t home very much…and it definitely was tough on my mom and us to have him gone for months on end. So I guess I would say, I’m not a fan of living apart. But there may be some instances where its a better solution and everyone has to figure out what is best for their family.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:07h, 09 April

      I agree with you Michelle, we all have to figure out what is best for our families and after weighing all options and considering all consequences, if living apart is best then it is okay.
      Thanks a lot for coming by, I appreciate your visits here.
      Do have a super blessed day!

  • Meredith
    Posted at 19:48h, 08 April

    It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around this concept, too. I could never live apart from my husband, and can’t imagine the toll it would take on our marriage and children. I will say that, in today’s economy, I know that some families are doing whatever they have to do to make it (perhaps this means taking a job in another state temporarily). I still think it’s best to stay together, I’m just pointing out that the motivation for splitting up the family, although it’s not best, is sometimes done out of a desire to provide.

    The family unit is so important.

    XOXO,
    Meredith

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 20:09h, 08 April

      I know Meredith, I just pray couples would weigh all the other options and prayerfully make their decisions. I really do not mind a temporal decision but I still would fear a permanent arrangement.
      Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed week!
      Love