This is a sequel to the post “15 Reasons She Won’t Marry You” which I shared HERE.
Sometimes we find single men who are attracted to a lady yet are very hesitant to take the bold step of proposing marriage; even when they feel led to. Why do most men get tongue tied when they stand before a lady whose presence causes their hearts to skip several beats per second? Why do some of them dilly-dally, procrastinate and/or completely back out of a relationship with a lady who at first they thought would make them “the perfect wife”?

I spoke to some men and their responses informed this compilation, I know this is not exhaustive because some men might not find all their reasons listed below.

Why might he be hesitant to commit to you sister?
Here goes:
1. You do not carry yourself with dignity or confidently.
2. You do not treat men or anyone with respect. You “seem” to be too full of yourself.
3. You won’t come straight with him.
4. He smells an unnecessary desperation from the way you place yourself in the relationship. (You won’t let him do the wooing)
5. He is still wondering if you would be able to yield to his leadership.
6. You give the impression you are more interested in stuff he gives than him.
7. You seem to be every man’s lady.
8. You are domineering and always want it your way.
9. Your “over-sensitivity” confuses him.
10. You are not courteous.
11. You are too loud and lousy.
12. He cannot trust you to be where you say you are.
13. You seem to always want to “rub shoulders” with him.
14. He has reasons to doubt your Christ followership.
15. He is too lily-livered.
16. You are not just the one for him.
My dear girlfriend, if you find yourself exhibiting one or more of these traits from numbers 1-14 (I believe we all know our short comings), you can turn to God for help and transformation. He can by His Holy Spirit work a work in you to bring out the best in you and put those repelling attributes under. When this happens, you attract and keep attracting the “one” for you.
He is working that work in me, so I can testify!
Over to you now! What would you add to this list? Do you have a story to tell?

© 2013 ugochi-jolomi.com


  1. Great insights there! I believe many young ladies should take some cues to navigate through this confusing terrain of relationship formation. Great blog, Ugochi! Keep up the great work!!

    1. Praise God sir! Thanks for you encouragement.

  2. Do NOT you waste your best years on someone who won’t give you his best days. Personally, I fell victim to #4.

    1. When someone does not count you that important, then they are not that important in your life as well. Thanks for coming by and leaving your thoughts too. Do have a super blessed week!

  3. What a great list. If more women listened to this list more would be married. I would also add that many women have not required marriage as a reason for dating. Too many men are happy to date a woman forever if she never requires that the objective of dating is marriage. Do not continue to get played ladies. Make sure you are dating with a purpose.

    1. I agree with you Shawn, ladies should always define their relationships from the beginning.
      Thanks a lot for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  4. Great list. Looks spot on to me. I never asked my husband why he did not marry girlfriends in the past, but I know that he asked me to marry him because he knew for the first time in his life that he was with someone he did not want to be without. He said I was the one he wanted a future with. One thing I learned about dating after wasting my time was that I really needed to leave it up to God. When I stopped allowing my flesh to do the picking and gave it all up to God, I met truly the love of my life. Thanks for sharing Ugochi. I love your posts. 🙂

    1. Leaving it up to God is key, while we develop ourselves to be the best we can be in God.
      Sorry for this late response. I always appreciate your coming by Kelly.

  5. Thank you for sharing your lovely blog at the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop xo

    1. Sorry for this late response.
      My pleasure as always katie!

  6. Love this post! True, true, true. Also, I would add, from my own personal experiences, that he is not capable/desiring/wanting to BE the pursuer/wooer.

    Found you via the HOFWBH via Our Evryday Harvest. Our links were right next to each other Imagine my surprise and delight to find we are sisters {in the Lord}. Yay! Looking forward to reading more posts!

    1. I agree, our men need brace up and be courageous.
      Thanks a lot for stopping by Carrie.
      Have a super blessed day!

  7. Hi Teshuva. Your points are SPOT ON dear.

    1. Thanks a lot Eya!
      appreciate your kind words.

  8. I always like reading your tell-it-like-it-is posts. 🙂


    1. Thanks a lot Meredith! Have a super blessed day!

  9. good list. sometimes too a woman who is not motivated to do better for herself (education and/or career) will also turn a man off marriage. it is nice to know your wife can help out if needed not just domestically.

    1. I agree with you Obi, every man wants to marry an asset.
      Thanks a lot for coming by!

  10. That’s a pretty good list. Maybe he’s just not in love or are afraid of commitment. I have Christian girlfriends with many faults, but are extremely picky. Thank God He picked my husband.

    1. It is well my sister, we should pray for our friends and trust God that they align to His word and will. Thanks a lot for coming by.

  11. Found your Blog on SITS today and the caption immediately jumped out at me, as I have several girlfriends who have never been married…and I want to help them….we are in our 40’s so it is sad (for me, I have been married for 20 happy years)
    So thank you for this list, it should help me, help them.



    A Fabulous Life in Jamaica

    1. It is so great seeing you hear Jeanine! I am so glad you find it helpful to for your friends!
      Thanks a lot and I hope you will come by often.
      Have a super blessed day!

  12. I’m not sure what I would add. That’s a pretty good list. Followed you from SITS. Have a blessed day!

    1. Thanks Vicki! I appreciate your coming by. God bless you!

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