WHY I DISAPPROVE COHABITATION - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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WHY I DISAPPROVE COHABITATION

WHY I DISAPPROVE COHABITATION

What does it mean to cohabit?
To cohabit means to live together as husband and wife without legal or religious sanction.
Many singles have asked if it is wrong to move in with someone who you really love and will end up getting married to. Some have mentioned that they believe living together will help them know if they are truly compatible or not, they live together as a test to their potential marital success or failure in order to make the best decision.

I KNOW THIS IS A SORE SUBJECT IN SOME QUARTERS, BUT THE TRUTH ACCORDING TO GOD’S WORD SHOULD GUIDE OUR DECISIONS.
I believe we should all be law abiding citizens because God requires it from us, I believe we should take even more seriously the laws that also reflect God’s commands.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 
Genesis 2:24
God says a man should leave and cleave to His wife, not wife to be…God is the creator of man and marriage, so His commands concerning marriage should be adhered to if we really want His blessing on our marriage.
The only criterion for leaving together as man and wife is when God and the legal authority governing our country have sanctioned it.
Marriage is not like any other relationship, it is sealed with a covenant and when you begin living as man and wife and engage in sexual acts.  In sex there is an exchange of blood, a covenant is endorsed by blood, sex outside marriage enacts a wrong covenant, it is an act of disobedience and is not pleasing to God.
Also, marriage is too sacred a union for trial and error, for those who cohabit to see if it will work, if it does not work then what? Should someone keep cohabiting with every possible spouse until they discover the right one?
I believe especially for those who love God and want to please Him, that we should do marriage (like every other thing) God’s way. Just because other people did it and it worked does not make it right, obeying and pleasing God should be our motive at all times.
No matter how old you are, no matter how desperate your situation may appear, when you choose to honour God He will always make you a testimony.
It is not proper to practice marriage before getting married.  Not even if it appears to have turned out all right for someone you know. Let your life bring God honour.

Any thoughts on this? Please scroll down and start or join the conversation.

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
teshuva7@gmail.com

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

26 Comments
  • Pingback:My Bad Example To My Son.
    Posted at 12:18h, 20 May

    […] and told him that would be living in sin.  Thinking of it now, I should make him read my post on COHABITATION. My husband said, he had already told him it would be wrong to live with any girl before marriage. […]

  • mare ball
    Posted at 21:37h, 12 March

    You are so right. Living together is a poor substitute (which the devil loves) for the covenant of marriage and God’s design for sexuality. We women have been sold a bill of goods. We need to raise the bar to get the best out of men. Keep talking, girl!
    from The Dugout

  • Morounfoluwa Lukina Akibo
    Posted at 15:04h, 25 February

    I totally agree.

  • Unyime-Ivy King
    Posted at 14:56h, 25 February

    Ugo, God bless you for daring to share this in a society where, if you even attempt to share this kind of idea, the ‘do not judge’ record is sung at you. The truth is that, no matter how permissive the society becomes, God’s word is our standard. Even if we did not have the word of God as a guide, it makes practical sense to respect yourself, and honor your body by keeping your raging hormones in check until the man does the proper thing and pays the price to marry you. I believe that parents should teach their children to fear/honor God, and the power of a strong self esteem because when one has these, one will not sell oneself so short and cheap.
    Marriage is a strong covenant, and a positive one; pre-marital sex/co-habitation enacts a strange/negative covenant, as you have said. Even when some people co-habit, and things seem to be going well, it is worthwhile to look again because the pains are more than the gains.

  • Becca Acker
    Posted at 05:21h, 21 February

    Thanks for speaking out on this, Ugochi. I recently read a post on another blog that was like the opposite. I browsed through the comments and was saddened to read alot of “I agree with you” and “Whatever’s best for you.” I don’t believe this blogger was a follower of Jesus, but it’s still sad to see so many people settling for less than the best.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 09:54h, 02 March

      It is very sad Becca, how the enemy is deceiving the world. May God help us to shine our lights and liberate them.
      Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Hope Reid
    Posted at 02:03h, 19 February

    Power post. I agree 100%. I believe that God does frown on cohabitating. He ordained marriage. Living with your boyfriend or girlfriend does not compare to living in a committed union with your spouse.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 17:21h, 19 February

      Thanks Hope!
      I appreciate your coming by and leaving this note, have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Katherines Corner
    Posted at 03:41h, 18 February

    Sorry I’m late getting here…thank you for adding your wonderful blog to the Thursday Favorite Things hop. xo

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:49h, 18 February

      My pleasure again Katie, have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Kyoti
    Posted at 15:26h, 17 February

    What a refreshing article from a young person. And so brave in this day and age. Social mores have changed so much over the years. And the reigning moral climate is all about freedom with no discipline or rules.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:48h, 18 February

      Very sad Kyoti, but with God we stil have hopes for a strong moral culture.
      Thanks for coming by, hope you will check in again soon.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Tammy Stafford
    Posted at 16:32h, 16 February

    I totally agree with you to follow God’s design of marriage but I also think co-habitating socially tags you with a bad reference. Not only does God frown on it but most people do too! Stopping by from SITS SHAREFEST! http://www.tammypstafford.blogspot.com

  • Ginny Marie
    Posted at 21:15h, 16 February

    I agree with this too, and I’m happy with all the positive comments you have gotten! Living together is completely different from a committed and loving marriage.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:46h, 18 February

      Yes Ginny Marie, the two are completely different.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  • Sorta Southern Single Mom
    Posted at 13:25h, 16 February

    Stopping by from SITS Saturday Sharefest.

    I agree, but come at it from a slightly different perspective. I am a divorced single mother. I deeply value the sanctity of marriage and even though mine did not work out, I want to show my children how important I think it is. Financially and practically, it would be so much easier to just let the man I am dating move in with us. We intend to get married, but that is just not the example I want to set for my children!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 14:11h, 16 February

      Yes I agree, when children are involved we must think and rethink.
      Thanks for stopping by, I really appreciate it.
      Have a super blessed weekend!
      Love

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 17:45h, 16 February

    I agree with you too Tammy, unfortunately in some quarters people do not care at all.
    Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note.
    Have a super blessed weekend!
    Love

  • Kelly Blackwell @ Heres My Take On It
    Posted at 06:07h, 16 February

    I agree completely. I remember when I was in college one of my professors who was also an adviser told me that there is no such thing as practicing for marriage. He told me that he and his wife lived together before marriage and that it was nothing like the real thing when they actually did get married. He said if he had a chance to do it over the right way (his words) he would not have lived with her first. He based nothing on a biblical perspective but it definitely stuck with me. I know I am glad that my husband and I didn’t live together first 🙂

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 13:45h, 16 February

      I am glad he shared from experience. I hope everyone present took it to heart.
      Thanks for your visit Kelly, have a super blessed weekend!
      Love

  • Rachel
    Posted at 23:04h, 15 February

    I agree wholeheartedly, both for scriptural and practical reasons. I think women have more rights when they choose not to live with the man they love until the man has fully committed himself to the woman in marriage.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 13:24h, 16 February

      Very true Rachel, I believe they earn some respect too!
      Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed weekend!
      Love

  • Annmarie Pipa
    Posted at 21:33h, 15 February

    I am with you 100% on this!!! and on a practical note my mom would say why would a man buy the cow if the milk is free?

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:04h, 15 February

      And her statement does drive it home for me.
      I wish many more mothers would teach children with this statement.
      Thanks for coming by Annmarie, have a super blessed weekend.

  • Linda
    Posted at 16:18h, 15 February

    I completely agree with what you’ve said–because it’s biblical truth. Believe me, in my work as a counselor I hear this argument all the time, that we need to “practice” to see if “we’re good together.” Leads to no end of heartache. Thanks for a sound biblical approach.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 22:02h, 15 February

      I can imagine all you have to handle on the job. So many wrong ideas being sold by the devil.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love