SMELLY WATER - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Several times people use the story of stagnant water as an allegory of someone who always wants to receive and keeps receiving without giving out. THIS WATER SMELLS!

Have you ever been in a relationship where you seem to be the only one doing the chasing, loving, giving, calling, writing, visiting…?

It can be very tiring you must agree, the draining effect of a receiver who is never tired of receiving and cares less about making any input into a relationship can be pretty overwhelming and in many cases lead to the frustration and perhaps a complete burnout on the giver’s part.
Most times those who give are blind to the fact that they get almost nothing in return but then when the sudden realization occurs it can take a great and negative toll on the relationship.
Flash backs, reminiscing, playbacks and memories begin to tell the giver how lop sided the whole relationship has been and if this giver is not strong or resolute enough, it can cause emotional numbness, withdrawal, and sadly a disintegration of what might have been a very successful and impact full relationship.
Some couples have complained of the frustration of being the only one reaching out to their spouses especially in terms of emotions. They complain that their spouses do not make any investments in their own lives.
I believe all spouses (Me inclusive) need to consciously step out of being the constant receiver of love and affection and become an active giver. This is because no matter how long our spouses hold up, one day it is going to become an issue for them. When someone keeps giving and does not receive in return, it can be very discouraging and emptying.
Now, even this CANNOT be an excuse for anyone to keep collecting without giving back, even God frowns at it and there is a reward for it.
 “…the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.”
Proverbs 11: 24 (Message)
So I encourage that we look out for ways we can invest in the lives of our spouses and be the husbands or wives to them that God intended for us to be.  Be generous with your love and smiles…
Refuse to be stinking water or reservoir that only collects and does not give out. Give love, encouragement, support, care, affection, joy and happiness to your spouse, and watch what joy you would enjoy in your marriage and what joy you can experience WHEN YOU GIVE even when it is not convenient.
“Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”
Luke 6:38 (Message)

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Sara Ivy
    Posted at 05:35h, 31 January

    Hi, thank you for stopping by my blog. I’ve come to spread a little love to yours now. Is it weird that I love that you are from Africa? I have ALWAYS wanted to visit Africa. Most likely due to the Lion King being my favorite movie as a child and learning about the epic adventures of early worldly explores in school. Then let’s not forget that somewhere in my wooly head I thought climbing Mount Kilimanjaro would be even feasible for an asthmatic LOL, but I’ve always thought a visit would be awesome.

    As for the blog post – I’m always the giver and I always leave because I am sick of never getting anything in return. You’ve heard the term “we accept the love we think we deserve” I’m sure, well I know that I deserve to be loved and yet I am always in relationships with takers. Thus why I am still unmarried. I’m not willing to settle and apparently all the mutually giving and taking people are already in relationships or are dead. 🙁 I’ll keep trucking on though. Excellent post.

    Sara Ivy

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 13:04h, 31 January

      Keep trucking Sarah!
      I am sure there are still very great and loving men. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, have a super blessed day!

  • Susie
    Posted at 00:17h, 30 January

    So true & well said!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 13:42h, 30 January

      Glad you think so! Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed day!

  • Alethea Etinoff
    Posted at 15:07h, 29 January

    What a beautiful post. You explained the ‘giver’ very well and without bias. I respect that you admitted to taking your spouse for granted at times as well. Stopping by from SITS.


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:42h, 29 January

      Thanks a lot Alethea!
      Oh yes… I am still a work in progress and I am making progress…
      I appreciate your coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!

  • Chisa
    Posted at 11:44h, 29 January

    Hmmmm interesting! i give to people alot, but funny enough most of them don’t even seem to appreciate those little efforts let alone ….. Encouraging i must say. Hope MORE of us will read this piece. Thank you Ma!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:40h, 29 January

      Thank God you are not stagnant water sister, and god will not cease to supply grace for you to keep giving. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!

  • Beth
    Posted at 18:29h, 28 January

    This has been a tricky area for me, not just in my marriage, but in many of my friendships because of my “wiring.” I like to help others and find that needy people are drawn to the help I can give. At times this can be very burdensome. But I like how you’ve encouraged us to look to God’s endless supply of help–that cool, refreshing, “non-smelly”, living water found in Christ. Encouraging words here, Ugochi! Thanks for sharing!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:39h, 29 January

      What a way to describe it Beth…”cool, refreshing and non-smelly…” Thank God He is all of these to us. And we will not grow weary in well doing…
      Thanks for coming by Beth and leaving this note, have a super blessed day!

  • LuAnn Braley
    Posted at 13:59h, 28 January

    The world, like most marriages, would be better of the people thought more about what and how they could give instead of what can I get all the time. And it doesn’t matter awfully much that we may or may not get recognition from our spouses or the world (not that that isn’t a nice little thing every once in a while), God sees everything; He knows everything. But no praise we hear on earth can compare to hearing “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” when we go to meet our Maker.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:36h, 29 January

      I agree LuAnn, the best commendation would be to here these words and that indeed should be every one’s desire. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!