For the past seven or so days now my husband has been asking me to pay him attention (I always thought I did), not that he has not said it before now but it has come more frequently in the last few days.
Let me give you some instances I remember very clearly:
My son and I were looking for their shower curtain rings and I was wondering out loud where they could be, and then my husband was trying to tell me how he had cleaned the room. I was a bit upset that I could not find the rings and I was thinking to myself how my boys were going to totally mess up their bathroom floor and most probably leave it that way, and wait for me to ask them to clean it up or perhaps do it myself.
It was in the midst of these thoughts that my husband (Who I believe wanted me to appreciate him for cleaning up) was trying to let me know how the plumber had messed up our room and how he had put it back in shape.
But I was too engrossed in what was going on with the shower curtain rings that I thought he should join in the pursuit instead of “distracting” me.
As I stepped into the sitting room he asked if everything was okay and told me he wondered if I noticed at all that he was trying to talk to me back then. I said I did and was sorry for allowing the curtain rings issue to distract me. Afterwards while we were in the kitchen he told me that he wished I could pay him some attention while he talked to me.
One of the days I was singing out loud in the sitting room and headed to my bag to get out my phone when he started talking to me, I stopped singing to listen but continued searching my bag and didn’t look up. He stopped talking and later on in our bedroom as we both got ready for bed he said something like: “you were not even looking at me when I was talking to you”. I told him that I was listening even if I didn’t look at him, after all I stopped singing, but he maintained I didn’t give him the attention he needed.
And then just last Friday I did something without checking with him, I thought I was helping us but told me that he would have loved to make sure about someone first, and without looking up at him I told him I would not do it again. This time I was searching the Internet.
Few moments later my phone beeped with a text message that read:
“Honey it will be great if you give me attention”
I must admit that my plate has been somewhat full lately and my mind has been increasingly busy… but I don’t have any excuse whatsoever.
So I am going to work on dropping whatever it is I am doing and look up at my husband whenever he is talking to me. I pray for grace because when I am busy, especially at home, it can be very difficult to slow down and listen, I mean truly listen with my eyes up at him and all the right body language.
For some people it does not matter whether you look at them or not as long as you respond to show that you heard them, but since it matters to my husband that I look at him, even when I am pressed for time and have chores to finish up. Listening to and meeting the needs of your spouse is very important.
…Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking…
Communication between couples is very important, especially communicating with each other’s preferred style in mind. Lack of effective communication has ruined a lot of marriages, so couples ought to be very engaged in communication with their spouses.
Great communication makes for harmony in marriage, so husbands and wives should always seek to improve their communication skills to suit their spouse; love always seeks to please the other.
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