PAYING ATTENTION - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-1191,single-format-standard,bridge-core-3.0.6,qode-page-transition-enabled,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode_grid_1300,qode-child-theme-ver-1.0.0,qode-theme-ver-29.3,qode-theme-bridge,disabled_footer_bottom,qode_header_in_grid,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-6.10.0,vc_responsive



For the past seven or so days now my husband has been asking me to pay him attention (I always thought I did), not that he has not said it before now but it has come more frequently in the last few days.

Let me give you some instances I remember very clearly:
My son and I were looking for their shower curtain rings and I was wondering out loud where they could be, and then my husband was trying to tell me how he had cleaned the room. I was a bit upset that I could not find the rings and I was thinking to myself how my boys were going to totally mess up their bathroom floor and most probably leave it that way, and wait for me to ask them to clean it up or perhaps do it myself.
It was in the midst of these thoughts that my husband (Who I believe wanted me to appreciate him for cleaning up) was trying to let me know how the plumber had messed up our room and how he had put it back in shape.
But I was too engrossed in what was going on with the shower curtain rings that I thought he should join in the pursuit instead of “distracting” me.
As I stepped into the sitting room he asked if everything was okay and told me he wondered if I noticed at all that he was trying to talk to me back then. I said I did and was sorry for allowing the curtain rings issue to distract me. Afterwards while we were in the kitchen he told me that he wished I could pay him some attention while he talked to me.
One of the days I was singing out loud in the sitting room and headed to my bag to get out my phone when he started talking to me, I stopped singing to listen but continued searching my bag and didn’t look up. He stopped talking and later on in our bedroom as we both got ready for bed he said something like: “you were not even looking at me when I was talking to you”. I told him that I was listening even if I didn’t look at him, after all I stopped singing, but he maintained I didn’t give him the attention he needed.
And then just last Friday I did something without checking with him, I thought I was helping us but told me that he would have loved to make sure about someone first, and without looking up at him I told him I would not do it again. This time I was searching the Internet.
Few moments later my phone beeped with a text message that read:
“Honey it will be great if you give me attention”
I must admit that my plate has been somewhat full lately and my mind has been increasingly busy… but I don’t have any excuse whatsoever.
So I am going to work on dropping whatever it is I am doing and look up at my husband whenever he is talking to me. I pray for grace because when I am busy, especially at home, it can be very difficult to slow down and listen, I mean truly listen with my eyes up at him and all the right body language.
For some people it does not matter whether you look at them or not as long as you respond to show that you heard them, but since it matters to my husband that I look at him, even when I am pressed for time and have chores to finish up. Listening to and meeting the needs of your spouse is very important.

1 Corinthians 13:5 (AMP)

…Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking…
Communication between couples is very important, especially communicating with each other’s preferred style in mind. Lack of effective communication has ruined a lot of marriages, so couples ought to be very engaged in communication with their spouses.
Great communication makes for harmony in marriage, so husbands and wives should always seek to improve their communication skills to suit their spouse; love always seeks to please the other.
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comment boxes as you scroll further down.

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • clinton amoako
    Posted at 20:26h, 24 May

    I need a helping hand to over come fornication

  • Ricky Walker
    Posted at 04:15h, 23 February

    I need a real strong prayer to deliver me from this fornication and lust temptation ways I wanna change my life before Jesus Christ comes back!”

  • Stephanie
    Posted at 02:00h, 26 January

    Great verse! I’m stopping by from the Make My Saturday Sweet Blog Hop, and I adore your blog. Looking forward to your updates! I’d love for you to stop by my blog, as well, if you get the chance 🙂 Happy Friday!

    Diary of a Debutante

  • craftyspices
    Posted at 20:04h, 18 January

    Yes indeed, communication is the essences of all relationships: not only with your partner but with family and friends. The more you communicate and express what you think the stronger the relationship can be.
    Thanks for linking to the Follow Who and have a great weekend…

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:21h, 19 January

      Yes it is and a very key relationship strengthner too. Thanks for coming by Jay!
      Have a super blessed weekend!

  • Unyime-Ivy King
    Posted at 10:56h, 18 January

    Beautiful post-I am sometimes guilty of this, but each day, one tries to improve in one’s relationship. It’s always important to love our spouses meaningfully by loving them in their love language. Well written girl.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:10h, 19 January

      Daily reflections and decisions for progress are very important if any relationship must thrive. Thanks a lot, I do appreciate your coming by and leaving this note.
      Have a super blessed weekend!

  • Blond Duck
    Posted at 23:22h, 16 January

    Popped in from SITS! It’s amazing how we can take those closest to us for granted.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:08h, 19 January

      Thanks a lot for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  • misssrobin
    Posted at 15:55h, 16 January

    This is a beautiful post. You listened to what he needed, were humble enough to check your own behavior, and tried to fulfill his need. Thanks for a lovely lesson.

    Stopping by from SITS.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:05h, 19 January

      Thanks Miss Robin. I appreciate your coming by and leaving this note, have a super blessed day!

  • chisa
    Posted at 16:50h, 16 January

    communication is key,attention is also another important factor. then eye to eye contact does it all. Hmmm what a good piece. thank you ma for this. the LORD bless you

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:07h, 19 January

      Yes Sister, communication is very key. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note. Have a super blessed weekend!

  • Mia De Vries
    Posted at 23:23h, 14 January

    Hi Ugochi
    You have spoken to me! Thank you, I will take this to heart!
    Bless you

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:02h, 19 January

      Amen, I am glad it was a blessing. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, have a super blessed day!

  • Myne Whitman
    Posted at 20:09h, 14 January

    Totally agree with this post and with mail4rosey 🙂

    Meeting your spouse where they need you to is absolutely necessary. On this particular issue, I try though sometimes I fail when I’m multitasking, I’m rarely doing one thing at a time.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:01h, 19 January

      I know Myne, especially at home, I always seem to have my plate full. But I am working on slowing down so I can pay attention. Thanks for coming by, I do appreciate it. Have a super blessed day!

  • mail4rosey
    Posted at 15:00h, 14 January

    You are SO lucky that your husband is communicating what he needs instead of keeping it internal because that gives you the chance to work on it. I love that!!!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 10:58h, 19 January

      Yes he does it a lot Rosey, that makes it a lot easier for me. I know some men who don’t share their thoughts at all. Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed weekend!