07 Dec TWO TIMING
Posted at 14:48h in Singles' Tidbits, Trust 15 Comments
Before you read Two Timing, please read this short note.
Okay! I had to edit this post to share this! I was featured by Kelly of Our Everyday Harvest and I am excited about this. Kelly is a great bloggy friend and I am super delighted to know her, a God fearing sister. Thanks a lot Kelly!
Please check out her blog Here and read some of her inspirations!
Now back to TWO TIMING!
Two timing is a form of cheating in a relationship where a person attempts to maintain two separate relationships at once without one-another involved in each relationship knowing about each other.
I have never understood why anybody would keep two intimate (you know what I mean) relationships at same time. I often wonder if insecurity, confusion or uncertainty has a part to play in it, or if it is just plain old cheating and misleading traits in a person. Some men even promise marriage to more than one person at the same time, I have had to ask a few why and they gave me the clumsy excuse that there has to be a plan B, just in case plan A does not work out. Unfortunately I have fallen for the second fiddle joke; I shared it HERE just in case you want details.
But is it really reason enough? I mean, is it okay to promise marriage to two people at the same time with the excuse of the “not putting all eggs in one basket” theory? Can this be applied to the case of dealing with the hearts of men and women, people like you and I?
A man once told me that he was not very sure that the girl he really desired to marry loved him as much, he said he was not sure of her commitment to the relationship and thought it necessary to maintain another relationship so that if his fears came to pass he would not lose out completely. Time was not on his side he claimed, and he could not afford to miss the deadline he had set for himself for marriage. I asked what would happen to the other lady if his fears did not come to pass, he said he would take time to explain to her and appease her in some way. Just like that!
This goes to show how a lot of people disregard others, how insensitive they are to other people’s needs and emotions. This for me is a case of selfishness, insincerity, deceit and I dare say wickedness. A lot of the other person’s life would have been wasted and in some cases destroyed.
No one deserves to be second fiddle, I do not think there is any reason enough why anyone should profess love to two different women or men, much more promise them marriage. Before anyone goes into a new relationship he or she should make sure the old one is properly ended, closed and done with.
Some ladies say they do not want disappointments too, that is why they keep one man in view, while they trust that the other one will walk out. I call it what it is, deceit!
When talking with singles I always tell them not to ignore any checks in their spirits, they should look for the reason for their doubts so as to know what direction to take, if it is founded on some serious issues then you have a choice to make, otherwise you can handle it and continue. I believe if you are not sure of any body’s commitment to a relationship, if you have any doubt at all, then you should not be in the relationship. Since trust is very fundamental in any relationship, its absence indicates a need for closure.
If for any reason someone disappoints you, you should deal with it and move on (now I know it is not as easy, but it is the right thing to do). Tell yourself it was not meant to be, especially if you have done your best to make it work, believe that God has the right person for you and He will bring you to each other.
I seriously advocate one relationship at any given point in time for singles’ in waiting,that is why there is need for serious considerations and prayers before venturing in at all. I totally disagree with any need for a plan B, or second fiddle, no one deserves that!
Psalm 32:2 (ESV)
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
Proverbs 12:19 (CEV)
Truth will last forever; lies are soon found out.
I believe in sincerity in every relationship, especially with one whom you plan to spend your life with.
NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY SECOND FIDDLE, NO ONE DESERVES IT!
I believe you think so too! Share your thoughts in the comment box further down.
Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2012
Christina MorleyPosted at 13:47h, 15 December
Hi Ugochi! I hope many singles will take strength from your words and not stick around in a relationship where they are being played. They have to love themselves enough to walk away and to trust God for the right, healthy relationship that He wants for them.
Thanks for linking last week on Make My Saturday Sweet. Hope you link again if you haven’t already!
Tina – American mom raising 4 kids in South Africa
SherellePosted at 15:48h, 10 December
I completely agree with you! Being with two or however many people at one time is terrible. I frown upon married people stepping out on one another. This hits close to home, as I have a sibling dealing with the infidelity of her spouse. They are ‘working it out,” but I can see how hard it has been for her, and I hurt for her. I believe she is afraid to leave and afraid of being alone. I pray that things get better for her. Trust is hard to give, and once its’ broken, it can be broken beyond repair sometimes.
UgochiPosted at 13:03h, 11 December
Truth Sherelle, trust is hard to rebuild once broken. I pray it gets better for your sibling too. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day!
From TraciePosted at 15:46h, 08 December
You are so right that no one deserves to be second fiddle, or to hang around just in case someone needs a Plan B.
UgochiPosted at 13:00h, 11 December
No one Tracie, no one at all… Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!
Kelly BlackwellPosted at 07:21h, 08 December
Wow. While I’ve known people who have dated more than one person at a time, I have never known anyone leading two into thinking marriage was on the horizon. That is horrible! If you spread yourself that thin you really don’t develop a real relationship with either person. You can’t if you aren’t completely open to each other, and that would be impossible in that kind of scenario. I am so glad to have all that stuff behind me. 🙂 Thanks for sharing. I love reading your perspective.
UgochiPosted at 12:53h, 11 December
Unfortunately so Kelly! We do have some people who have done it, and I know them first hand too. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day
God'sglory*7Posted at 23:46h, 07 December
I thought this game is for unbelievers. I do not expect that believers play this deceitful game. Any believer found playing this game is not born again and should not be in any relationship because they are insecure. Insecurity is not an attribute to build a lasting relationship with. The funny thing is a deceitful person will still be deceitful in marriage or courtship. There will always be a spill over. Thanks for this powerful blog. Will forward it ma. Have a great weekend.
UgochiPosted at 12:44h, 11 December
Unfortunately, I have seen “Church folks” who do this too. This is pure deceit, and like you said, a deceit will remain a deceit even after marriage.
Thanks a lot ma, for coming by again and again, do have a super blessed day!
Leisure M.Posted at 20:18h, 07 December
Hey, Im one of your newest followers stopping by from the Harvest of Friends Blog Hop. I can’t wait to read more of your post. I would love for you to follow me back.
UgochiPosted at 12:40h, 11 December
Thanks Leisure! I appreciate the friendship, do have a super blessed day!
Life in the simple lanePosted at 17:40h, 07 December
Just stopping over from the blog hop! Great stuff here! Following you on facebook and twitter. If you would like to check out my blog.
UgochiPosted at 12:39h, 11 December
Thanks Katie, I appreciate the friendship. Have a super blessed day!
Mr. McgranorPosted at 15:04h, 07 December
Within the spirit of Common Law marriage, is the reality that God only recognizes — one. And with such law of the heart, mind and soul; is the need to not go around taking such intimacy in a neglectful manner, or wanton. As if a relation of such was license…leading to the tyranny against one another.
UgochiPosted at 12:36h, 11 December
God only recognizes one for sure. Thanks for coming by brother and leaving this not, do have a super blessed day!