HUSBANDS, SAVE YOUR WIVES! - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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save your wives


save your wivesA man was sick in the hospital and his siblings issued his wife a threat that if anything happened to their brother, she would be held responsible…
Another one has been told by her brother-in-law to her face that she was trying to kill his brother (her husband) and he was going to so deal with her…
It is so sad to see women suffer in the hands of their in-laws unjustly. I mean, why would anybody want to make the life of a woman miserable just because she married their son or brother? I have seen and heard of these things before now but the past week I have been bombarded so to speak with the stories, first hand stories of some women who have been suffering in the hands of in-laws. They never wanted them from the beginning but since they went ahead and married their son/brother without their “permission” and “approval”, they have to pay for it, they have to suffer misery.

I believe when a man makes up his mind to marry a lady in spite of his family’s objections, he should be left alone. The best thing any parent or family member can do for their son or brother is to pray for him if they sense anything amiss. But if they have prayed and the man insists they should stand with him and leave him and his wife alone to enjoy their home.

And men,  please if you believed so much that the lady you married was the one for you, so much so that you withstood all the pressure from your family and married her, it becomes your duty to shield her from them knowing that they had qualms about her being your wife from time. You cannot bring a woman into your home and subject her to insults and mistreatments from your parents and/or sibling.

No one is saying you should not care for your parents or siblings, in fact the Bible instructs you to honour your parents- Deuteronomy 5:16
But not to the detriment of your wife, your one flesh. God says you are to stand as her savior and guard just like Christ is the savior of her body.
Ephesians  5:23
For the husband is the head of his wife as the Messiah is the head of the church. It is he who is the Savior of the body.
I understand that there are some wives who do not want to hear anything about her in-laws, I do not approve of this attitude. No matter what, wives should even encourage their husbands to take care of at least their mothers, knowing that it is God’s commands and there is a blessing attached to it.
But when you notice that there is undue interference from your family in your home and upon your wife, as a man you should take a stand and insist that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect to your wife, refrain them from subjecting her to pain and shame.You are accountable for the welfare of your wife, and you are accountable to God. When you exchanged your vows, God was paying attention to the words you spoke and by those words, and His own word, He will require you to account for how you treated your wife.
Even if you are nice to her and you allow your family members to trample on her without doing a thing to stop it, you would still be held responsible as her head.

All wives and mothers, fathers and brothers, please let us allow our sons to enjoy their homes, let us be wise and allow peace in their homes instead of being the cause of trouble. The same thing for all sisters and brothers, it breaks my heart to see the misery and pain parents and siblings cause their son/brother’s wives all because they think he should give them the same attention, time and financial support he used to before he got married. Remember he is raising his family with so many bills to pay, if you really loved him you would give him the time and space he requires to focus on his family while you go about your own life too. When you trouble his wife you trouble his home and him too, he cannot be at peace when there is no peace in his home, that is not a show of love, love will not do that.

I have three boys and I always pray that I will be the best Mother-in-law I can ever be, I have always desired to love and accept my daughters-in-law no matter what, without expecting perfection from them since I am not perfect either. I do not want to cause any lady misery in my sons’ home; I would rather that she would find me a model of a godly woman and someone she can look up to.

Men please protect your wives, it is your responsibility to ensure that your parents and siblings or anyone at all do not cause her misery just because they do not “like” her. Or should every girl now run from any man whose family do not approve of her?
Remember, God holds you responsible and you will have to answer to Him.
Okay brothers, what say you to my out pouring? And sisters too?! Please scroll further down to the comment box and share your thoughts.
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Lori @
    Posted at 13:37h, 12 December

    First – I need to state that I have a great mother-in-law and sister-in-law, both of whom are very supportive. Now.

    However, when Robert and I married we were very young. He didn’t finish school, and we had our first child on our first anniversary. This was difficult for my educated and career focused in-laws. They were convinced our relationship was the worst thing to happen to Rob. Add in our choice to be fully involved in a church denomination that wasn’t the same as theirs, and you see a picture of discord.

    Robert, even being very young, was a true, Godly man. He made it clear that I was his chosen wife, and he was loyal in word and deed to me.

    28 years later, by the grace of God, I have a solid and loving relationship with my in-laws. They see that God was in control, and we never suffered by following His direction – in fact, we’ve thrived. Our adult children serve the Lord and are faithful.

    Now, I’m a mother-in-law. And although I can fully see the perspective of MY mother-in-law, yet I trust God. Yes, He is in control. Our son and daughter-in-love are a good match, and I give thanks for her daily.

    What’s the Key? It’s exactly as you’ve written. The husband needs to be(come) a Godly man and honor his wife. As God intended. Then, over time, God can work in the lives of everyone to bring peace.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:28h, 12 December

      I am glad God worked it out Lori. I have had a good relationship with my in-laws from the start and I am very grateful to God for this.
      However I have had to talk and pray with so many women who are battling rude interferences from their in-laws and I am saddened by these stories. I have even spoken to some of their husbands and they just believe their wives should learn to live with it.
      I pray God will indeed touch every party so a positive change can occur.
      Thanks a lot for coming by Lori, I appreciate your sharing your story here. I bet someone will get encouraged and hopeful for a change.
      Have a super blessed day!

  • Eya
    Posted at 04:23h, 11 December

    Thanks for mentioning mothers and sisters, they should just leave their sons and brothers to enjoy their marriages. Especially some sisters…Go get married and face your own husband!!!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:22h, 12 December

      I agree sis, I agree…Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  • Prowess and Pearls
    Posted at 20:39h, 10 December

    Hi Ugochi! Yes my friend, it goes back to allowing one another to make decisions without interfering. Whenever, we cross our boundaries, that’s when all the other mess comes in. Looks like this happens way too much. Thanks for sharing! Have a blessed week! 😉

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:15h, 12 December

      Thanks Michell, I appreciate your coming by, have a super blessed day!

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 00:20h, 11 December

    Hmmm, the emotion in this piece is felt!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:21h, 12 December

      Truth like this usually causes pain you know. Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed day!

  • Marci Smith
    Posted at 19:17h, 10 December

    I am amening! I have experienced passive aggressive behaviors from my husband’s mother and sister. Thankfully, my husband supports me. It has been very hurtful at times.

    This is an awesome post that should be read by everyone.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:13h, 12 December

      Thank God He does, it is not a good experience at all, I have a good relationship with my in-laws but have had to talk to a lot of women who don’t and it is very sad.
      Thanks for coming by Marci, have a super blessed day!

  • Rubi Diaz
    Posted at 17:40h, 10 December

    I’ve seen this happen all too often too! 🙁 Men need to stand up and defend the wives they chose to marry and stop those injustices the minute they start!


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:10h, 12 December

      Truth Rubi! No woman deserves to be ill treated in this manner. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note. Have a super blessed day!