I want to share a story with you, a very sad one but with some very salient lessons to learn from it.
her marriage and her death
A couple we (my husband and I) knew some years back, if I guess right about six years ago, were having serious issues in their marriage. The wife came complaining to us of how she has discovered that her husband has been unfaithful to her. She was so heart broken and devastated, she wept so hard that I felt her pain and found tears welling up in my eyes and running down my cheeks (yes I know, a bit embarrassing…) it happens quite very often with me, I try hard to control it but I fail almost all the time. Anyway, we tried to calm her down and comforted her a bit, my husband assured her he was going to talk to her husband and hopefully by God’s grace peace will be restored in the home.
After sometime, few days I think, my husband gets to talk with the husband and he agreed that he is having an affair with someone else, someone in another state. He blamed it all on his wife and recounted to my husband why he believes his wife is the cause of it all.
He said the whole trouble began when his wife’s sister came to stay with them, they were just a young and growing family; they live in a one bedroom apartment and he thought it was not very convenient for her to be around. They needed to have some time alone to build their young home without interference, and his wife’s sister was not allowing them the privacy they needed together. She goes in and out of their bedroom as she pleases, she even lies down on their bed without caution, plus, she is always rude to him.  He said to my husband that even in his wife’s presence the girl has been rude to him on several occasions, and when he gives his wife these reasons why her sister needs to leave them, she flares up and decrees that she is not going anywhere. He said he had told her several times before but she had always insisted that her sister must stay. He said he knew his sister-in-law was not desolate and wondered why his wife would not allow them to enjoy some room in their small house.
The last straw was the day his wife said in the presence of her sister that she was not going anywhere when her husband mentioned it again, he could not take it anymore, he had just come in from work and he picked his car keys and drove out of the house, he had no particular place in mind, he just needed to clear his head. He drove around until he got to a spot where he just picked a girl off the streets and ended up in a hotel room with her.
And that began his extra marital affair, he suddenly got a steady outside their home state and began incessant “official” travels, gets home from work at odd hours of the night and some nights didn’t come home at all. The other lady was already planning on getting him a job in the state where she was and things were really getting serious between them. He was really no longer in his marriage and, he had moved out of their home since she preferred her sister…
Let me try to cut this short, my husband did a lot of talking to him, showing Him God’s word and mind about marriage, we were excited and believed that he had found his way back to and in God because moved back into their home… but moved out a short while after, even though his sister-in-law had left:  the pull from the other lady was stronger… that was when it happened.
One night his wife who was asthmatic was alone at home when she came under an attack, she had developed high blood pressure in the middle of all of this: she died from that attack.
We must all learn to put our marriages first, after God and before any other relationship. I believe that did not play out well here. Where there is true love and respect for each other, situations like this are better handled and the result is different, positive.
Now what should we say?
Did this lady cause her death?
Did her husband take it too far?
Was she truly the reason he started having an affair?
Or should we blame her sister who was the cause of it all?
I know they all share their blames, but what do you think?
Scroll further down to leave your thoughts.
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  1. That is so sad. It really puts things in perspective though and makes you take a step back and wonder have I stepped out of bounds in submission to my husband?


  2. This is a sad story. I don’t know what to say. God knows it all.

  3. Myne, you make me feel even more sorry for the woman. That could be the reason she wanted her sister around.

  4. Yes indeed and yes He does. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day!

  5. You hit it right on the head, they all left God out and then came the crash. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note, I hope you come by again often, do have a super blessed day!

  6. Yes, they all have there share of the blame. Amen!!! I hope he learnt. Thanks a lot and have a super blessed day!

  7. Amen!!!I agree with you ma, there must have been so much left unsaid, it is well… Thanks a lot and have a super blessed day!

  8. Amen Marci! Sad but true, we must learn love and respect in their true sense…
    Thanks for coming by and leaving these words, have a super blessed day!

  9. Maybe there were some things she didn’t say…
    And you are right Myne, he is totally responsible and to be blamed for his choice. It is well… what can I say…

  10. Very sad indeed. The husband made a choice. The wife made her choice! However, when God is not the center of our lives this and worse are the results.

  11. This is a sad story. I wrote a post on infidelity on my blog, see my thoughts on the matter: http://unyime-ivy.blogspot.com/2012/12/how-much-is-too-much.html. The man has no one, but himself to blame for his infidelity. Of all the course of actions that were open to him, why did he choose to cheat? It was purely his decision. So sad that the wife is dead now, which is unfortunate, but she too made her own mistakes. I pray that he finds a way to move on, and learn to make better choices when under pressure.

  12. Bless you ma. Why didn’t he take his wife to the hotel instead of another woman. There is more to the story. I believe there is a reason why the sister stayed. I may be wrong. But pastorial counselling would have been sort for at the beginning of the crisis. The Lord help us to keep our homes in Jesus name. Amen. Have a great week ma.

  13. Oh my…. I now have to wonder about the husband. Do you suppose he feels guilt?
    On the other hand, how blatantly disrespectful she was towards her husband. By disrespecting the natural order that God set out for marriage, she lost her protection.
    What a sad story, and a good wake up call for those of us who may take those we love for granted.

    1. Truly Kay, I do not know, maybe later he did, but at the time all this happened… I don’t know.
      I agree, she should not disrespect her husband so…
      God have mercy!
      Have a super blessed day!

  14. A caution to keep our marriages under Jesus’ care. A sad story that I’m afraid is like many more–and hinges on pride. There will always be troubles in a couple when they have not taken care of pride. It is selfless loving that makes our marriages grow.

    1. Pride is a destructive destroyer Pam. God help us to love like Him. Thanks for your words, have a super blessed day!

  15. What a truly sad story. I am grateful that you shared it. Often, we take those we love for granted. We just never know how much time we have on this earth. I am sorry that it ended this. May everyone around them, and everyone reading this post, realize how we impact everyone around us. We all want to feel loved, needed, and special….

  16. I don’t think anyone is to blame, we are only human! “A man has a choice to begin love, but not to end it, a sorry story it must touch all. agman

    1. You really think so?!

  17. No one has the blame for the cheating but the husband. Maybe this is why the lady wanted her sister around, so there’s always someone in case she has an asthmatic episode. The man’s infidelity is inexcusable though I will not blame him for the wife’s death. It has happened, I hope they can all forgive themselves and move on.

  18. They all have their blame and the other woman stands to gain. She has him all to herself now, no thanks.

    1. Sad Eya! Very sad… she was the loser in all of this, God have mercy! Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed day!

  19. Very interesting story Ugochi! I would say they all had a role in some way. If each one of them had played the roles God gave them, the way He intended, I do believe there would have been a different outcome. Want to hear something funny…I’m stopping by from Naptime Review’s Monday Mom’s Mingle(yours was the link right before mine). What’s the odds of that? Lol! Have a blessed week my friend!

    1. I agree Michell, they all walked outside God’s word and instruction. How sad, following God absolutely protects us from so many things we never know.
      Thanks for coming by, there are no odds at all, it is just what it is, #friendship things, lol!
      Have a super blessed day!

  20. Very interesting story Ugochi! I would say they all had a role in some way. If each one of them had played the roles God gave them, the way He intended, I do believe there would have been a different outcome. Want to hear something funny…I’m stopping by from Naptime Review’s Monday Mom’s Mingle(yours was the link right before mine). What’s the odds of that? Lol! Have a blessed week my friend!

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