I knew I had to see Him, I knew I had to talk to Him; I knew I had to ask for mercy!
You see I am a big sinner, I know I am no good the way I am, always doing the things I know I shouldn’t do. My desires are always for the things that do not please God. I know I shouldn’t do these things, my parents taught me the law; they taught me like they should. But I refused to listen, I wanted to see the other side of life, it is really enjoyable, I mean it is a lot of fun. The whole village knows me as the notorious and loud sinner. The men have had their fill of me and the women wouldn’t even walk where I have walked, they consider me dirt and treat me like a leper. The young ones have made up songs of reproach and they burst into singing once I am in sight. And now I am tired of this life, tired of the kind of life I am living, I want to get out but do not know how. My will cannot hold me up, I do things I do not want to do any more yet I cannot seem to stop myself.
I have been hearing of this man for a long time but have been uncertain as to how I would approach him. He always walks in the midst of the crowds and I am sure to get stoned to death if those people see me even approaching them or him. But I have heard of how he loves even the loveless and the most undesirable, even women, he loved some women I know about too. So there is the remote possibility that he would love me enough to forgive me, I believe he had the power to, he is one of the greatest prophets I have heard of and something in me tells me he is the Messiah. I have never been spiritually inclined yet I feel so convinced about it, the way I hear he loves; only divinity could possibly love like that.
I feel so worthless, so dirty, so empty…the things I thought would give me joy and satisfaction are now the things that cause me so much pain, yet I cannot stop. It has become a habit for me, a way of life, an addiction, I want out! I have wondered for a long time who I can go to, the priest should be able to help me, but I cannot even go to him, I would not even be allowed to get to the outer courts, talk more of seeing him. All the leaders cannot afford to be seen talking to or with me. I couldn’t think of anyone who would love me enough to help me. I was bad and up until now, I didn’t care what anyone thought about me, I was going about having all the pleasure I could find, if it gave me pleasure I went for it, and if anyone got hurt in my quest it didn’t bother me. But now I want out!
Now I hear he is at Simon’s house with his disciples, Simon the leper a Pharisee. See what I mean! He is in the house of a leper, one who no one was supposed to go near, he has such a heart of love, he must be the Messiah. I must go there at once, if his disciples would kill me then so be it, the torment of my sins would kill me if I don’t receive his mercy anyway so I must not wait any longer. But I must go with a gift, what gift do I have…? I need to worship Him, at least I have been thought you don’t go to a priest empty handed, but what can I give…the ointment, very expensive, I got it for myself, it was one thing that that made heads turn at me when I walked pass, it was a very costly one, but I had to give it, I couldn’t go empty and it is all I have.
So here I go, as I walked I could feel hate filled eyes and hearts almost boring a hole through my back, I heard the hisses and the mockeries, even though I walked as far away from people as I could yet I heard them. My heart thumped at my chest as if trying to jump out and run as I approached Simon’s door. I knew this had to be it, my legs wanted to turn back and run but my heart urged me on, with tears and soft pleas for mercy within my heart I moved on. And without knocking I burst into the room, immediately all the chitty chats that I was hearing from the door seized, the room went into a deadening silence but I didn’t stop moving until I got to him.
Afraid to face him I stood behind him sobbing so hard it ached, I thought to myself, this is the Jesus, I am here with Him… and as I slumped down at his feet and the tears poured on his feet I washed them, cleaning them with my hair. This was not exactly what I intended to do but it happened and I just refused to think that it was not just the two of us in the room. As I broke the bottle of ointment and anointed him, I could hear the opposing murmurs of the men that sat to eat with him. He told them a story, I kind of blocked my ears focusing on what I was doing and praying in my heart for mercy. But then He turned and looked at me, and as he looked at me, the whole world stopped, love overwhelmed me, suddenly I felt like I had hope and a reason for life. I felt all the hatred I had received from the whole city melt away, no words can effectively describe what that look did to my heart.
And as he said to me “Thy sins are forgiven…” I broke into uncontrollable tears…
Then he spoke again “Thy faith hath saved thee: go in peace.”
I felt free, liberated! I felt pure, whole complete again! But above all, I felt loved!
The saviour is still here, and He loves you in spite of everything, he came for everyone, no matter your past he can give you a great future. All you need is to come to Him in faith and repentance. He loves you just as you are, receive His love.
I was just like this woman some years ago but I received The Saviour’s love and He gave me a fresh start, a brand new life.
Have you encountered His love?
Culled from the Holy Bible (The woman with the alabaster box of ointment)- Matthew 26, Mark 14 and Luke 7