NOTES TO THE GENTS - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Ladies are not complicated like most men think, they are just different. It is not as difficult as you think to get along with a lady, it just takes a little bit of sensitivity and determination to make your relationship with her work. Most men say ladies are just so difficult to understand, it is not true, there are men who can be difficult too.

In this post I just want to intimate men who are still waiting to find their better half, and maybe those who have already found her on some things to note about a lady, so that they can relate better with her.
No lady can be just like your mother.
A lot of times men want their mother in their wives. Unfortunately, no lady can do it just like your mother does it. She cannot talk like your mother, think like your mother, cook like your mother, sew like your mother, clean like your mother and love you just the way your mother does. Expecting any lady to be a replicate  of your mother would be fantasy. When looking for a wife, look for a unique person made for you, suitable for you, adaptable to you. Do not look for your mother in every lady, you will be making a mistake. Any lady who truly loves you will mother you in some kind of way, trust me.

There is however a flip side to this, some men have had “enough” of their mothers in some areas and they tend to detest any lady whom they find similar traits in. I would want to say that communication is important in dealing with this. Besides, her motives might just be different than you are thinking, so talk about it.

Women and are not necessary evil!
Do not listen to your friends, or men who say that women are necessary evil. Do not even listen to your thoughts, no matter the experiences you have had, if you allow those thoughts you will view every lady with a bias.
And you might just miss the lady who would have made a very good companion for you. God made women good women as blessings to the men. And there are still lots of true, and genuine ladies out there, ladies with pure hearts and good motives. Ladies who will work at making themselves blessings to their husbands.

Ladies are built to lean on their husbands.
God created ladies as the body of her husband. So a lady, a godly lady would naturally want to be led by her husband. Most times however, ladies battle with this when there is lack of trust and a feeling of insecurity. When a lady does not believe in a man, when the man has given her reasons to doubt his destination and or motives, it becomes a struggle for her to allow herself to be led by him.
So before you get married brothers, work on your leadership skills, work towards providing quality, definite and trusting leadership, this will provide the right atmosphere for the lady you would marry to yield completely to your leadership. Work towards being a loving leader instead of a hard boss.

Treat her like you would treat a precious gift. 
Something that is very precious to you, you would handle with serious care. Ladies, okay most ladies like to be treated like… Ladies. If you would treat the lady you would marry with tenderness, you would be stirring up all the positive qualities in her and you will enjoy her as a wife. Never mind the saying that you must always put the ladies down so they can know their place, this only results to rebellion, you will be unhappy at the results.

Be patient with the lady.
Every lady is like a tender plant, with some nurturing and patience, believe me, she will blossom into a beautiful flower that will beautify your life. A Gardner needs a lot of patience with his plant other wise the plant can get broken, bruised or destroyed.  So it is with the ladies, patience is required so you can enjoy the deep seated blessings inherent in her.

Finally, remember that a good wife comes from God. Lean on Him for guidance, you cannot go wrong if you follow Him.

Proverbs 18:22 (KJV)
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing , and obtaineth favour of the Lord .

Proverbs 19:14 (KJV)
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from The Lord.

Okay brothers, sisters and friends, what think you? What more can you add to this notes? Go on and speak up! Just scroll down to the comment box and leave your thoughts…

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Shola
    Posted at 14:51h, 14 February

    understanding on both sides. I love the idea of sensitivity, which i believe is also a two way thing too and mutual respect. 1 Corinthians 13:4- came to mind when I was reading this piece. It reads, ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.’ I believe these are foundational principles to take note of for a healthy relationship. Thanks for posting this piece, looking forward to read more

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 21:40h, 14 February

      Perfect description of love, those verses of the Bible and perfect follow for a healthy relationship.
      I am glad you were inspired by this, thanks a lot for coming by and leaving your thoughts. Do have a super blessed weekend!

  • Kumbi Keith
    Posted at 13:16h, 05 December

    To both man and woman if you are CHRISTIAN it is not only in your best interest but also written in the word not to involve yourselves with unsaved people, that relationship will not work

  • Nancy Kporo
    Posted at 14:08h, 17 October

    This is a very important aspect of relationships. The last part is especially so: All women cannot be the same. Men should understand that like them, women are made by everything around them, so when they come together, they’re bound to be differences of opinions. But wanting your wife to be like your mother is like saying you want to marry your sister or mother which won’t work. We should learn to accept our differences and learn to “leave’ as the Bible says.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:26h, 22 October

      Hey Nancy! you are so correct!
      Truly leaving and cleaving is a major in marriage. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving a note, I hope you will come by often. I am so sorry for this late reply, been too much on my plate lately, do have a super blessed day!

  • Terence donnelly
    Posted at 21:40h, 15 October

    Wow that was some serious blog, when I first met my lady, I wasn’t looking for a mother image or cook, I wasn’t really looking, I saw her standing near me and that was it! I just wanted her to be my soul mate and want me, nothing else mattered to me or does now, the rest of your blog would have to fall into line, I believe love will always find a way. be well

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:23h, 22 October

      I am so sorry for this late reply, been too much on my plate lately.
      You are such a gentle man, unfortunately, not every man thinks like you do, I sure hoped they would. Love always wins my friend, so keep loving.
      Have a super blessed week!

  • H.I. Odigie
    Posted at 21:42h, 14 October

    Mama J, as always, this piece is a blessing. It is thought provoking. My specific take-away from the write-up is that men should dig deep in efforts and patience to make their marriages work. Remember this popular saying that as you make your bed so you are going to lie on it. The scriptures tell us that what you sow determines what you reap. Sow love, care, understanding, patience, appreciation, commendation, tolerance etc, you will see these bearing fruits in your wife if not immediately surely in the future.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:21h, 22 October

      I am so sorry for this late reply, been too much on my plate lately.You are so correct bro! Marriage and life are indeed about sowing and reaping.
      Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving a note, have a super blessed week ahead!

  • Rockin My Journey
    Posted at 04:42h, 14 October

    I know get it why it is hard for me to let ALL control go where you say….women lean on your husbands, my husband is now disabled & I was a single mom for so many years before we got together that I was use to do it all and I know there may be a day when I have to do it again so I struggle with some of the things he should be doing but I take over, I know what to pray about now to help us work more easily as a team still neither one of us is dead yet. God Bless
    i almost clicked off thinking this was just for the singles so glad I choose to read!!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:20h, 22 October

      I am so sorry for this late reply, been too much on my plate lately.
      I can’t imagine how difficult this can many times be for you. But I believe God will pull you through it. And true, there is still something to be grateful for. I will join you in praying.
      Thanks a lot for coming and leaving these notes, have a super blessed day!

  • Marci Smith
    Posted at 22:19h, 13 October

    This is so important. I have two boys and my desire is for them to know what God desires from them as a man. Thanks for posting this.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:24h, 19 October

      Amen Marci,I have three and I pray for the ability to lead them to know God’s desires for them too. Thanks for coming by and leaving a note, do have a super blessed day!

  • Shelda Raymonvil
    Posted at 21:19h, 13 October

    This is a great message that boys and men should read. I will be sure to pass this post around to those I think should read it. Thanks for sharing! -Visiting from SITS

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:21h, 19 October

      Thanks a lot Shelda, I appreciate your coming by and leaving a note, and for sharing too.I hope you will come by often. Do have a super blessed day!

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 20:59h, 13 October

    Good one mama but what of when a man tries all or most of these and the girl does not appreciate any of it?

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:19h, 19 October

      I believe any one who does not appreciate you while you are still dating may not get to do it when you are married. I think you need to re evaluate your relationship.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving a note, I hope you will come by often. Do have a super blessed day!