BEFORE BED TIME - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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forgiveness, peace, couples, marriage


before-bed-time-Every couple has had their share of misunderstandings, arguments, quarrels or even fights. Let’s keep it real, while these things are not meant to be, they do happen many times because we allow our emotions to lead us instead of choosing to do the right things. We (couples)could actually live free from all of these ugly situations if each one of us decides and chooses to always do the right thing at all times no matter the situation, unfortunately, when standing in the face of matters most times we give into the pressures on our flesh and we begin the arguments and quarrels…

While this is what is going on, and while we work on completely putting our flesh under, there is one very powerful tool we could always use to diffuse the adverse effects the quarrels and fights could have on a relationship. That powerful tool is FORGIVENESS. If we refuse to allow the hurt and pain linger, if we choose to talk things over and let go of the anger, if we choose to forgive whether or not our spouse asked for it, then it becomes easy for healing to occur in the relationship.

I know you’ve probably heard this countless times, but like Peter would say, you cannot hear it enough. A reminder is always important so that we do not give the enemy occasion to creep into and wreak havoc in our homes. If you are on the sensitive side like me, then you would be very glad to have this reminder, so that we can keep working to keep our emotions under control.

With every unsettled issue in a marriage, a gulf is created, and it continues to grow until it gets to a point of “desperation”, and sometimes serious damage is already done.  Now I understand why my husband always wants to settle an issue before we sleep at night, in fact we try to resolve it immediately but sometimes we both have to get home and talk things over. Now do not think it was like that from the beginning…

My point: try to settle every concern, misunderstanding, argument… before bed time, or as soon as you can, make it a priority to PURSUE PEACE with your spouse because like I said earlier, with every unresolved conflict you are tearing the relationship apart. The longer you leave it the wider the gulf, the more you fight the more the gulf.

I have acknowledged that couples fight, I have also said it does not have to be if we all follow the marriage manual, but while we work on eliminating arguments or bringing them to the lowest minimum, we MUST settle every conflict before bed time, in fact, owing to the fact that Jesus could return any minute, we should settle immediately, make sure our hearts are not bitter against our spouses. That way we enjoy a healthier and joy filled marriage, plus, we live ready for our Lord’s return.

We stand to lose nothing if we do this, rather we gain everything and eternity too!

But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Mark 11:26

An angry person doesn’t do what God approves of. James 1:20 (GW)

Staying angry with your spouse gives room for the enemy to defeat you.

“When you are angry, don’t let that anger make you sin,” and don’t stay angry all day.

Don’t give the devil a way to defeat you. Ephesians 4: 26, 27(ERV)

So, how is your “forgiveness to your spouse” gauge lately?


Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

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