Just because you have been deceived a couple of times by several people does not make everyone a deceiver. You may have even been used, abused, manipulated, lied to, beaten, broken, cheated on…but it still does not make everyone bad.
I say this because I have heard a lot of people say that they do not think they can find anybody reliable, someone they can trust to get married to.
It is true that there a so many deceitful people in our world today, it is true that the hearts of many are dark and there is only wickedness to be found in them, it is true that a lot of people who cannot be trusted are walking our streets, in our neighbourhoods, in our work places, and even in our churches. But it is also true that there are so many trustworthy, loyal, nice, thoughtful, genuine and God fearing people who can be trusted enough to marry, living in our present day. I want to believe that you are one of the later, I do not mean people who are perfect, I mean real, genuine people. If you are, then you should know that you are not the only one, there are many more people like you.
It would not be fair to perceive everyone like you do the people who have disappointed you in the past. It would not be fair to judge the people you meet based on the treatments you have received from past relationships and encounters. I know it can come naturally but you must fight it because it could cause you to miss genuine people with genuine intentions, you could just shut out the real people from your life because you have judged them unfairly without even giving them a thought or chance.
Do not lump everybody together and term them as bad, stop making everyone a suspect, stop the unfair judgments, give people the chance and believe that you can get to see and know them for who they really are instead of who someone else was, or what someone else did.
If you buy a kilogram of beans and happen to find several bad ones in them, you probably would not throw the whole grains out; you would still pick the beans until you are left with the good ones. I cannot emphasize it enough, there are still people who can make good wives and husbands, people with whom you can build a good home, a lasting home that will give you joy and happiness.
If you open your heart and eyes and begin to view people not as suspects but as possibly good people, it would open up a world of possibilities to you, it is going to free you, liberate you from the grip of fear and uncertainty. Otherwise you will remain caged and unable to keep any relationship due to perceptions you have grown used to because of your past. If you must develop any meaningful relationship, you must clear your heart and mind and build up trust and confidence, give yourself the chance for a healthy relationship.
In spite of the wickedness in the world, there are still good people available for marriage. God never lacks a remnant of good people even in the most evil generation: Romans 11:4
Give yourself the chance; you can still meet the woman or man of your dreams!
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.