I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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I am really growing, I don’t mean in age alone, but in maturity, lol! And I don’t mean to commend myself but I am happy that I can look back and say that I have left where I used to be, especially in my relationship with my husband. Little things that I used to allow fester and grow into a huge fight I now disregard and move on with love in my heart. Peace is far better than war!

The desire to always give reasons for the wrong I do or the mistakes I make is simply waning and I must say that I am loving it. Growing up my mum used to tell me that it would take a person who has experienced war to really appreciate peace.
I totally appreciate those words now. I used to always want to prove myself right while looking from my own perspective only and my husband would want me to see from his point of view but this always most times leads to fights over very trivial things. But now all most of the time it is different.
Now I hear him out and try to understand why he thinks differently or why he acted the way he did. I no longer get into arguments over everything; I simply apologize when I go wrong, sometimes even when I think I am right, some things are not just worth fighting over. Peace is far better than war!
Can we avoid misunderstandings in marriage? No! Can we avoid fights? Yes! We will not always understand each other, but we can decide to put our misunderstandings aside and work as one to maintain peace in our homes.
When a discussion starts heading for a quarrel then end it immediately, even when both of you still have so much to say about the subject of discussion, it is better ended than quarreled over. Instead of engaging in that heated argument, just stop and tell your selves that you will revisit it later, if it is something that must be talked about. Plan a better approach, maybe after some time when both of you have calmed down. Find a way to talk about it, perhaps writing down your points of view and exchanging it with each other for a read before the day or time set to discuss it. Peace is far better than war!
The temptation to have the last say is sometimes the reason for quarrels, when there is a battle of words, especially harsh words, the heart is wounded, and harsh words cut very deep. They always find a way of replaying in the hearer’s mind and it can cause a big wound in the heart. Choose your words carefully when communicating, offensive words are mostly the trigger of quarrels, be kind, gentle and respectful as you discuss with your spouse. Peace is far better than war!
Constant fights are not healthy for any relationship, how much more marriage. So let us all choose peace over war, let us grow in communication, and let us lay down our opinions and points of view if and when necessary to avoid quarrels. Constant fights can create a destructive distance in a marriage, so like me, choose not to fight, enjoy your life, and enjoy your marriage!
Proverbs 17:14 (CEV)
The start of an argument is like a water leak– so stop it before real trouble breaks out.
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
2 Timothy 2:24 (AMP)
And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and contending).
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Sylvia Phillips
    Posted at 21:10h, 10 July

    Your post is a helpful reminder that I have work to do! LOL!! Thanks for visiting my blog. I am now following you. I hope you will visit me again! BTW You have a gorgeous family, such adorable boys!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 12:48h, 11 July

      Thanks Sylvia! I appreciate your comments, and I will visit again. Thanks a lot for the follow, have a remaining week!

  • Betty Manousos
    Posted at 12:45h, 10 July

    awesome post, thanks so much for those great tips!

    wish you a wonderful day!

  • Tanya-Lemonsforlulu.com
    Posted at 11:39h, 10 July

    Thanks so much for visiting my site! I am now a Google+ follower! So happy to check out your blog! Very inspirational. I am learning each day that I have to be able to trust God, have faith and know that he truly wants whats best for us, despite what I may do. There are things I cannot change, so I have to trust God.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:52h, 10 July

      Trust in God is the sure way to winning. Thanks for the note Tanya.Thanks for the visit and follow too! Have a great week!

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 13:09h, 10 July

    Thanks a lot Betty, you have a great day too!

  • faithlovejoyhope
    Posted at 23:05h, 09 July

    Like you, Ugochi,I am a Work-in-Progress who has finally learned that peace is much better/nicer than insisting that I’m right. I have realized that most times “zipping” my mouth works well to allow God to do His work in both of our hearts. Often He just wants us to step aside and trust and rely on Him to soften our spouse’s heart on a certain issue while we lift our spouse up to Him in intercessory prayer.

    Thank you so much for tackling the tough topics and sharing your experiences with us.


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:50h, 10 July

      Yes Anna, we all are works-in-progress, thank God He won’t give up on us.And true prayer is the way, less talk…
      Thanks for coming by and living a note too. Have a great week!

  • Becca Acker
    Posted at 15:02h, 09 July

    That is me… wanting to know I was right, wanting someone to see from my perspective. It’s definitely pride. I don’t want to be like that. I want to be peaceful. You offered some great tips- thanks!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:47h, 10 July

      The flesh always cries out! But we know better! Thanks for coming by Becca, have a great day!