I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT

The desire to always give reasons for the wrong I do or the mistakes I make is simply waning and I must say that I am loving it. Growing up my mum used to tell me that it would take a person who has experienced war to really appreciate peace.

I totally appreciate those words now. I used to always want to prove myself right while looking from my own perspective only and my husband would want me to see from his point of view but this always most times leads to fights over very trivial things. But now all most of the time it is different.

Now I hear him out and try to understand why he thinks differently or why he acted the way he did. I no longer get into arguments over everything; I simply apologize when I go wrong, sometimes even when I think I am right, some things are not just worth fighting over. Peace is far better than war!

Can we avoid misunderstandings in marriage? No! Can we avoid fights? Yes! We will not always understand each other, but we can decide to put our misunderstandings aside and work as one to maintain peace in our homes.

When a discussion starts heading for a quarrel then end it immediately, even when both of you still have so much to say about the subject of discussion, it is better ended than quarreled over. Instead of engaging in that heated argument, just stop and tell your selves that you will revisit it later, if it is something that must be talked about. Plan a better approach, maybe after some time when both of you have calmed down. Find a way to talk about it, perhaps writing down your points of view and exchanging it with each other for a read before the day or time set to discuss it. Peace is far better than war!

The temptation to have the last say is sometimes the reason for quarrels, when there is a battle of words, especially harsh words, the heart is wounded, and harsh words cut very deep. They always find a way of replaying in the hearer’s mind and it can cause a big wound in the heart. Choose your words carefully when communicating, offensive words are mostly the trigger of quarrels, be kind, gentle and respectful as you discuss with your spouse. Peace is far better than war!

Constant fights are not healthy for any relationship, how much more marriage. So let us all choose peace over war, let us grow in communication, and let us lay down our opinions and points of view if and when necessary to avoid quarrels. Constant fights can create a destructive distance in a marriage, so like me, choose not to fight, enjoy your life, and enjoy your marriage!

Proverbs 17:14 (CEV)

The start of an argument is like a water leak– so stop it before real trouble breaks out.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

2 Timothy 2:24 (AMP)

And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and contending).